Sportsmanship and Toeing the Parental Line

So, i know some of you are waiting for pictures from the costume party, but it is just gonna have to wait. I have a little something to get off my chest. It's called, "What the fuck is wrong with you, you sack of shit parents?"

I guess I should start at the beginning. I should mention first that I was not present for the event in question, Rollie's soccer game. It took place Saturday afternoon. His father took him to the game, while I readied our home for being descended upon by eleven costumed children on Sunday.

Rollie is my oldest, so this is my first experience with parenting a child in organized sports leagues. I played sports growing up, and really credit the experiences for giving me much of my self-confidence, and my sense of sportsmanship. I played tee ball, baseball, softball, soccer, swimming, and tennis, and even recreational basketball, at which i was pretty terrible. I am competitive and love to win, but I have never been a sore loser, and am always a gracious winner, except in drinking games, or games played while drinking (beer pong, pool, darts) where "talking shit" is acceptable, and even encouraged, and where it would never set a poor example in front of a child. I have looked forward to my kids playing sports and learning about teamwork, good sportsmanship, doing one's best, and self-confidence.

So, Rollie is playing soccer for the first time this year. He is in a co-ed, under six league. The kids range in age from 3-6 (a huge age difference actually), and they don't keep score. There are no referees, just the two coaches out on the field with the kids, giving them pointers and running the game. It is all about learning the skills, the rules of the game, and sportsmanship. Or so i thought.

Rollie definitely got a competitive streak from me. he likes to win, and we have been working with him on things like, "it is okay if you lose, as long as you give it your best" and "you can't win them all," and teamwork. One problem we have had so far this year is that not only does he want to take the ball away from the opponent, he also will go after the ball if his own teammate has it, and we are trying to teach him that he needs to work with his team, not against them.

Other than that though, we had so far had no real problems. So, Todd takes him to his game on Saturday. None of the kids on Rollie's team have played before, and there is a kid on the other team that is playing circles around the others. He also played pretty rough, throwing elbows, pulling on shirts and pants, etc. I have never seen any unsportsmanlike behavior called at these games. Either the coaches did not see this stuff, or they just let it go. So, Rollie is pretty competitive and started getting mad, and from what I can tell from what Todd said, he kind of did the same stuff, and told the kid to "stop it." Well, this kid said to Rollie, loud enough for Todd to hear, although it seems that other parents and the coaches did not hear it, "Y'all suck."

Now, as I said, Rollie is my oldest, and it doesn't take long after sending your eldest child to school to realize that they are in for quite an education. While they are learning the ABCs and 123s (or not, but that is a whole 'nother post), they are also learning a ton of really neat sayings and behaviors from the kids in their class who are not the oldest; these kids have older brothers and sisters and just aren't as innocent as the eldest siblings. They use words and phrases like, "You suck." "I'm going to kill you." And lots of stuff about shooting and guns. It is frightening the way that influences on your child are suddenly out of your control.

Back the game: This kid says this stuff, plus the other team is scoring a bunch of goals, and Rollie's team, not so much. And the team is getting pretty discouraged. Which is fine. In my opinion, it is just as important to learn how to lose gracefully as it is to win. But then Todd takes Rollie to school this morning, and one of the kids in his class was on the other team. He is a nice kid, and Rollie and he are friends. Well, his mom asks if Rollie had recovered from the drama of the game and it seems that Rollie was snarky with his friend on Saturday. (I guess out of frustration at losing, not that frustration is in any way an excuse for bad behavior.) She then proceeds to tell Todd some further stuff about the "Y'all suck" kid's behavior on Saturday. Seems as he was substituted out of the game, he came out and loudly proclaimed, either to the parents or in front of the parents, that he was "going to kick that kid's ass." We assume he was referring to Rollie. Apparently, no one said anything. At least this one parent heard the comment. Todd did not. We do not know if any one else heard it, but according to this mother, it was loud enough to hear.

I know what I would do in this situation. What would you do? Would you have said something? As a parent, do you rely on a coach to deal with these things? Is it really best to ignore it? What reason would his parents have for not reprimanding him for this behavior? Would you reprimand someone else's child for saying something like this? And what kind of a household is this child living in that he remotely thinks it is acceptable to say something like that, much less in front of a group of adults?

Am I being over-protective and raising a complete wuss of a child? Is it really so wrong to want my child to learn about respect for others, respect for adults, etc?

Most of all, what kind of a child talks like this at age six or under?

I am fuming and just mad I wasn't there to say something to the sorry excuse for parents that poor kid must have. And if I had, would i be labeled a troublemaker or a rabble rouser? And if I was, would i give a shit?

Dogwood Girl Garden. Again. Plus Cats and the Spawn

Yesterday afternoon, Todd called me out to look at some yard work he was doing. Turns out that one of the shrubs we've been basically ignoring until it is cool enough to prune is actually a really huge fall-blooming Camellia. It has about a kajillion buds on it, and just a few blooms yet.

We spent two years at the old house, not wanting to do too much work on the place since it was for sale, but my whole being was aching to dig in the dirt. And now we are here, and we haven't done a ton to the outside yet. (Well, i haven't. I just did a small garden this spring for tomatoes; Todd did a HUGE job clearing out the ivy in the back third of the yard. No small undertaking.)





It is really fun to go through a whole year's cycle and have surprises pop up. We came in April. Since then, we've had a surprise Weigela (sp?), some shrub with a form similar to the weigela or a Forsythia, but with little white flowers on it that bees LOVE. A number of old daylilies that obviously need to be divided, but that i was just ultra-excited were there. Some kind of spring-blooming fruit tree. A cherry, maybe? Awesomely huge tulip poplars that remind me of the old Saddle Creek house. Tons of Azaleas and Hostas. Probably 6-8 Dogwoods. (Dogwood Girl's natural habitat!) We also have two birdbaths that just came with the house. And a windchime. Anyway, i was v. excited to come across the Camellia and the Pyracantha (I think that's what it is) and I am really looking forward to seeing what the winter garden presents me with - I foresee a lot of Holly and Nandina. There is a lot to be said for buying an older home and it's established garden.

Oh, and because THEY deserve equal facetime, here are my kitty cats, watching birds and chipmunks out the window today.














And a few pictures of something else i've been growing, my ultra-cute* kids. I really couldn't pick just one of these shots.




































*They beat the crap out of each other in a wrestling match seconds after I snapped these shots.

Read This

So, Opel is on the blogwagon now, too. He is one of my favorite people - self-deprecating, fun-loving, quirky, a dog lover, and . . . well, Opel is one of the dirtiest people i have ever met.

And now he has The Athens Blawg. Read it.

The One Time Banning Books Made Me Laugh

Paraphrased book summaries, based on banned titles. Of Mice and Men, Harry Potter, and James Joyce's Ulysses are particularly funny to me.

Thanks to Baby Got Books (great blog!) for the link.

Todd, Collector

So, just when I think that my very own packrattage cannot get any worse, and that Todd will probably throw me out on my derriere, God sends me this little gem. . . .

When we were selling our house in East Atanta, we put a ton of stuff in storage, just to clean it up and "stage" it so as to sell faster. (Yeah, right!) Anyway, Todd cleaned out the storage yesterday and brought it all home. We went through it, deciding what to keep and what to give away. That's when we found Todd's collection. Now, we have been carting Todd's collection around with us since we moved from the first house in EAV to the second house in EAV, and now on to the latest abode. He started this collection years ago, before we met. It is very dear to his heart, but he never shared it with me until i found it when we were cleaning out the master bedroom on Newton to paint it. Remember, Todd is colorblind and then imagine what a colorblind bachelor might do to his own bedroom, and how a girlfriend or wife might have to correct that upon entering a living arrangement with him. I digress. . .

I found it on an upper shelf of the closet, like a buried treasure, much sought after, a Holy Grail of glass(es). I give to you the Burger King Smurf glasses collection.

Yes, he has kept these since childhood. Because they are so valuable. Here is a picture of the proud collector with a fine item from the treasure trove.

Lazy Smurf. We also have Gargamel, Smurfette, and a host of others. Unfortunately, we do not own all 13.