This photo has quite a history. It was taken on Spring Break in 1990. It has so much going for it – people who normally wouldn’t have been photographed together, late 80s frames, the Dead Milkmen shirt, what appears to be Cheese Whiz in the foreground, and the requisite can of the beast. (Note to friends of the family who will understand – cheapskate Cecil just bought two cases of the Beast for the lakehouse. i am not kidding.) Did I mention that J. is smoking? Peals of high-pitched cackles are ringing throughout my house as a i write this.
There are only two copies in existence – Held by two different people for posterity; they shall remain anonymous to protect their identities. The photo has remained in archival storage, protected from dust, sun, and fingerprints. Until now, thanks to the power of these here internets, where it can be displayed for all to see*.
The photo has been in the middle of a blackmail battle for going on 18 years now. But i have decided that i can’t live in the shadows anymore, that i must bury the hatchet, and raise my head high, and admit that, yes, there is in existence a surely-frightening photograph of myself and one other unlucky lady, naked and flailing, ready to show the world just how drunk and ridiculous one can get. If that photo comes to light, so be it. However, methinks that someone has been bluffing about it’s existence for nigh on 18 years now. I’m too tired to hide anymore. If it is there, let it come to light.
The gauntlet has been thrown.
*Only about five people in the world care about this photo’s existence, or find it in any way funny at all. This post is for them. The rest of you just tune in next time.