A Long Time Comin’

jasonb springbreak
Originally uploaded by Dogwood Girl.

This photo has quite a history. It was taken on Spring Break in 1990. It has so much going for it – people who normally wouldn’t have been photographed together, late 80s frames, the Dead Milkmen shirt, what appears to be Cheese Whiz in the foreground, and the requisite can of the beast. (Note to friends of the family who will understand – cheapskate Cecil just bought two cases of the Beast for the lakehouse. i am not kidding.) Did I mention that J. is smoking? Peals of high-pitched cackles are ringing throughout my house as a i write this.

There are only two copies in existence – Held by two different people for posterity; they shall remain anonymous to protect their identities. The photo has remained in archival storage, protected from dust, sun, and fingerprints. Until now, thanks to the power of these here internets, where it can be displayed for all to see*.

The photo has been in the middle of a blackmail battle for going on 18 years now. But i have decided that i can’t live in the shadows anymore, that i must bury the hatchet, and raise my head high, and admit that, yes, there is in existence a surely-frightening photograph of myself and one other unlucky lady, naked and flailing, ready to show the world just how drunk and ridiculous one can get. If that photo comes to light, so be it. However, methinks that someone has been bluffing about it’s existence for nigh on 18 years now. I’m too tired to hide anymore. If it is there, let it come to light.

The gauntlet has been thrown.

*Only about five people in the world care about this photo’s existence, or find it in any way funny at all. This post is for them. The rest of you just tune in next time.


  8 comments for “A Long Time Comin’

  1. Creme de Menthe
    June 3, 2008 at 6:55 pm

    Say…who is that lovely girl with Jason?

  2. Dogwood Girl
    June 3, 2008 at 7:00 pm

    Creme de menthe! You are killing me!!!

  3. Camille
    June 3, 2008 at 7:19 pm

    I am crying with laughter. Seriously.

  4. Dogwood Girl
    June 3, 2008 at 11:38 pm

    Whatever! It seems that you have been a double agent the whole 15 years and may be in possession of the other incriminating photograph – My spies tell me it was last in your possession. I see you have been playing jason and I against each other all these years. .

    p.s. – I am pretty sure we need to scan in the rest of those pictures. You with the girl with the Massengill box, Casey with his butt burned while he was passed out. . . ah good times. Oh! Jason wants randy with his dye job smoking a cigarette. I have to dig these out soon. . . too good.

  5. Jason
    June 4, 2008 at 3:42 am

    I almost peed myself when I read the first sentence…late 80’s frames and cheezwhiz.  Dear lord, is there a better visual?Please scan the misfits pic of owen, brett, randy and i.  The beauty of it is randy who did not fall into character as, say, Robo or Eerie Von chose to smoke a cigarette (possibly with a long filter on it} looking like a total prick.

  6. Mike Maier
    June 4, 2008 at 11:04 am

    There are probably more than five people out there wholeheartedly joining your cackles, to be honest.

  7. Dogwood Girl
    June 4, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    I have to find them, and it probably won’t be this week, but there will be more coming.

  8. Dogwood Girl
    June 4, 2008 at 12:30 pm

    Mike, don’t laugh so fast, I am pretty sure that you are in queue for the firing squad, if you know what I mean. . .

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