and that’s why I can’t send you Christmas cards

There’s this song I like by the band Tokyo Police Club. (I hate their band name. Kinda bugs me.) All their songs are so catchy. There is this one song that has the line . . .

and that’s why I can’t send you Christmas cards
it’s why I had to keep you in the dark

Whenever I hear it, it reminds me of someone, and I always think i should write about it, but i always forget, riding in the car or listening to it while I run. And for once, i was sitting at my desk when it came on.

Someone once told me that they never wanted us to end up being people who just exchanged Christmas cards. And sure enough, we aren’t. We don’t. But i think of him every Christmas when the cards start coming in, and I think of him whenever I hear that song.

I find it interesting how prescient that comment was, as if he knew what would happen. And how telling it is that I made note of it at the time, even in the throes of overconfident young love, as if really, deep down, I knew how it would end, too.

None of it matters now, and it doesn’t hurt anymore to see the cards on mutual friends’ refrigerators. If anything, they make me smile. That was lifetimes ago. And songs like that, that remind me of my other lives, make me smile where they once made me cry. And they make me laugh, too, at the naivete of my youth.

And I wonder how many other people think about the Christmas cards they don’t get at Christmas.

Update: Got all nostalgic and made a soundtrack for the post. Enjoy.

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