Family Football Knock Knock Joke

Good times throwing the football and listening to music with the family this evening. Todd and Tiller were coming up with creative things to do before she completed her routes. (Nerds.) Jumping jacks, dances, knock knock jokes. This was the funniest. Little traitor. Also, does my voice really sound like that? Rated PG for mild […]

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I See the Future

Rollie. 4th Grade. Wow.

No matter how many times I look at this, it fails to become less funny. And this is a little freaky. . . Afraid this is just a taste of the awkward middle school years. Uh, yeah. . . We’ll be doing a retake.

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Here. Have a Sevin with your beer.

This photo pretty much sums up my childhood. Dad keeps the Sevin dust (for his tomatoes) on top of the guest mini-fridge in the basement. “Here, have a beer and sprinkle this around.” Then you paint some stuff for him. “Oh, yeah, that’s oil-based. Let me pour some gasoline on ya. Here’s this dirty old […]

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All in All Okay

Day 2 of Todd Johnson’s two week absence: # of hours slept last night: maybe 6? #book reports completed: 0 # cat poops cleaned off carpet: 2 # cats still living: 2 # pissed off neighbors: 1 # of favors owed Lauren Sullivan Shankman and Scott Shankman: 4 # times i cried about 9/11: 3 […]

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F*cksock

This morning, I miraculously got the kids up and ready for school today with time to spare. I sat sipping my coffee on the couch until time to get the kids in the car, with Tiller, Rollie, and Brody (the dog) all sitting beside me. I checked my email while the kids read Rollie’s Encyclopedia […]

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What are you gonna do when you’re dead?

The kids and I were driving home from QT (Yes, Todd, i returned the movie!) and we had the following discussion: Rollie: “Mom, what are you going to do when you’re dead?” Me: “Um. . what?” Rollie: “Like, are you going to go under a tombstone in the ground. Or are you going to let […]

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Funny Notes from The Boy

This gem somehow got lost in the leaning tower of procrastination on my desk. My transcription: Note to elf. From: Rollie Elves are good at: Being funny and messy, good with forts, hard to find at morning, good at being awesome, and cool, and small. Note to Rollie: You are good. I lik cookey. It […]

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Yeah, I Wore Pink Tulle. So what?

“Mama?” Tiller said. “Yes, baby?” I muttered while cooking dinner. Tiller: “Mama, will you be a fairy with me?” Me: “huh?” Tiller: “Will you be a fairy with me?” Me: “I don’t think so, baby. I’m not pretty enough to be a fairy.” Todd: “You know, we just did a tooth fairy spot. I can […]

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