Archive for February, 2016

My Likeness

Monday, February 29th, 2016

I look at my children and – genetics are so strange – I see a lot of my dad in my son’s hair, and maybe some of me, too (curly, crazy). Tiller has straight and beautiful blonde hair that looks nothing like mine or Todd’s, although it is maybe the same texture as his. She and Rollie both have Todd’s exact same almond-shaped eyes, but Rollie’s are very, very dark, like my mother’s and Todd’s parents, and Tiller’s are lighter, maybe hazel, but more brown than mine, which are also hazel, but with a green tinge.

So, when people tell me Rollie looks just like Todd, I do see it, although his nature is completely Palmer. And Tiller, well, a lot of times people say she looks like me, and I never see that. And her sweet, good-naturedness is all Johnson, with maybe a little smidge from my Mom. Not a lick from me, obviously.

But looks? I have never noticed that we look much alike.

Until I happened to see these two photos next to each other on my Instagram (follow me, I want to see yours):

From left, Tiller, Dash, Me, Brody.

From left, Tiller, Dash, Me, Brody.

Oh good. That didn’t sound creepy at all.

I Swear

Monday, February 8th, 2016

I will be in this moment.
I will trudge on, minute by minute.
Hour by hour.
I will yearn, suppress, and hold in my hand.
Put aside with care.
I will forgive.
I will look for goodness.
I will try to be a better me.
I will try to be better for them all.
I will try to be better for you.
I will choose love, even if it turned out to be more, less, harder, and more painful than I thought it would.
I will pick mercy and never-ending attempts at understanding.
I will err in kindness.
I am sorry that I am an unlocked box.
I am sorry that I lost the key.
I am working on tracking it down.
I hope I find it.
It was here, somewhere. I swear i just had it.