I Don’t Know What to Say

That’s why I haven’t written anything this week. See, I mostly write about what I know: The little things my kids do every day that drive me crazy, or make me laugh, or make me cry; the things that make me angry about this world; the things that scare me about the future; A book or movie I enjoyed; Fun trips and events.

All of that stuff seems unbelievably small and inconsequential in the face of the death of a child. A close friend of mine lost her nephew to bacterial meningitis this past week. A mother and father lost the center of their world. A child lost a brother he will never know, much less remember. Anything I write here, even the most irrelevant little tidbit, like what shape pasta Rollie and Tiller ate for dinner, will be something that the child’s family will never be able to write about him again.

So, i have spent these last few days talking, and hugging, and kissing a little bit more than usual. I have been more forgiving, and more patient, and more lenient, and more indulgent; I have cherished.

Why don’t I do this every day? I should do this every day for the rest of my life.

  2 comments for “I Don’t Know What to Say

  1. Steph Bachman
    November 29, 2006 at 11:53 am

    Was having the same troubles over here. Everthing else just seems trivial.

  2. Dogwood Girl
    November 30, 2006 at 3:37 pm

    Yep. I just feel . . . like this is stupid and irreverent.

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