I registered Rollie for school yesterday. I had met his pre-K teacher at the open house in May, and I liked her very much. Yesterday, when we went in the office, there was only one other family (incidentally, a little boy who will also be in Rollie’s class). The Principal was working the office and he remembered me from the Open House a month earlier, and explained all the paperwork to me. (I’m pretty sure that it is easier to buy a handgun than to register a 4-year-old for pre-k.) I liked him immediately.
Anyone who knows me is probably aware that I have some serious doubts about how America educates (or fails to educate) her children these days (don’t we all, to some extent?) and how much we have agonized over where to send our child to school, where to move, etc. How would we find a school that had decent to good test scores, racial and cultural diversity, but not so affluent that my children would be so sheltered that they wouldn’t know that not everyone lives like they do? Most of all, the school had to be safe and in a decent middle and high school district.
Todd and I have decided to have Rollie repeat pre-k this year, since it will not seem to him like he is repeating, as he is going to a new elementary school, and will have a new class. He was having some problems keeping his frog on the lily pad last year, which basically means that while he did fine with the “academic” parts of school, he was struggling to control his behavior, follow directions, and generally play well with others. His teacher thought that it was probably just emotional immaturity and an inability to control his impulses, and that holding him back wouldn’t harm him, and might help.
I talked to tons of parents of late-summer boys about the holding back issue: Those that didn’t hold their boys back were split down the middle concerning their feelings about it; About half of them regretted not holding the boy back. On the other hand, not one single parent I’ve talked to regretted holding their son back. It just felt like the thing to do for us.
Fast forward a month to Rollie suddenly reading whole books. We started having doubts about how he would fare in Pre-K if he could read and other kids couldn’t. Would he be bored? Would he be a frustration for the teacher? Would he languish without attention or challenge?
This parenting thing, it’s pretty complex, and it is a game of stamina, like some mindfuck marathon that you just keep running, with diverging paths, and a finish line that keeps on slipping in and out of sight. Honestly, I think it has finally sunken in that there is no finish line.
I decided to talk to the Principal about my concerns (also making sure that if he needed to, Rollie could move up into Kindergarten.) I was so happy after my discussion with him: He said that they see kids across the spectrum in the Pre-K; that some come in not speaking little English, or not knowing their ABCs. Some know letter sounds. Some are starting to sight-read words. And that some can read sentences and books.
My favorite part? Every Friday, the kids who can read in the Pre-K and K classes come into the Principal’s office and read books with him. I like the idea that my child won’t be bored or ignored, and that he will be put into a group that is on his level, and that his accomplishment will be rewarded and acknowledged.
Anyone know if this reading group thing is common practice in elementary schools? Does anyone else have experience having been held back, or having held their child back? I’m curious what others have experienced.
Tags: Parenting is Fucking Hard, Pre-K, Reading, Rollie, The Principals Office
Anne-Sophie didn’t do a standard Pre-K, but did a 4 day 4 yo preschool the year b/f K. She couldn’t read at all entering K, but knew all her letters, sounds, numbers, shapes, etc. After working in her classroom, I can tell you, they come in on MANY different levels, and the teacher’s job is to challenge each of them. It is amazing how that is accomplished with 17 kids, but there was a lot of evaluating done, and even though the kids sat in groups and sometimes worked on the same things, there was a lot of individualization as well. She was sent home with books on her level. By the end of K, she was reading on the ending first grade level, meaning the level first graders have to be at to move into 2nd grade. You will be amazed at how he will change in the next year, it’s like all the baby just disappears, sad in a way.
As far as the holding back, even though all three of mine are October bdays and I don’t have this issue, I couldn’t agree with you more. IMO, the social and behavioral aspect are just as impt as the academic. There was a little guy in Soph’s K who turned 5 literally days before school began. Long story short, he struggled all year, struggled to sit still, to follow directions, to keep quiet, and he struggled academically. By the end of the year he was doing a lot better, but why put your child through that? We don’t have the Friday reading with the pricipal, but what a great idea. From all you posted, your school sounds like a winner. If you can volunteer at all, I would reccomend it. It really gives you a good feel for what goes on in the classroom. Plus, this nosy mother always likes to meet the other kids and moms! Sorry for the very long comment…BTW, how is Dash doing? He and your sis and her hubby have been in my thoughts.
Dorothy, I love the long comments! BTW, Dash update is up now. Concerning volunteering, I am planning on doing everything I can to help out, and like you, part of it is so that I can stay in the loop and get a really good feel for the school.
I think that if more parents took the time to get involved, we wouldn’t have the education problems we have in our country today.
I am sure Rollie will do fabulously at Evansdale. I also love their principal– I’ve only had good interactions with him. We’re hoping the girls will be reading this year as well and have no idea if that will happen at St. Andrews or not. Of course I’m bummed that our kids won’t be together in Pre-K but that’s the luck of the draw. We’ll just wait til K!