Take All The Fun Out of It Why Don't You?

Auburn and Georgia disappointed me so wholly this season that I don't even feel any animosity towards my husband this morning.

That's no fun.

I'm Doing It

This year, I'm doing NaNoWriMo for the first time. It's a pretty cool idea, actually, and I know a few people who have done it in the past. The goal is to write 50,000 words during the month of November. It doesn't have to be good, or edited, or have a plot, but the goal is to crank out quantity. This, of course, scares me, but i am doing it anyway, because let's be honest, I need a new hobby after the demoralizing ass-whupping the Dawgs took yesterday. So, you'll be able to see my updated word count while I am writing during the month (just look for the nifty NaNoWriMo widget), and I will give updates on my progress throughout the month. This also means that I will probably not be writing lengthy Dogwood Girl posts this month, although I feel that this could be a momentous month politically, and that might just have to be blogged about. We'll see how I feel come Wednesday morning.

Let's see if this thing is working. (I haven't uploaded any words yet to the NaNoWriMo site, but just trying to see if the thing is working.)



Oh, one other thing about NaNoWriMo: At first, I thought, well, this is going to result in a hot mess of crappy writing all over the world: What a crappy idea. Then I read that one of the novels that resulted from NaNoWriMo in the past was Sara Gruen's amazing Water for Elephants. That pretty much blows my mind.

I admit it; I Gained from Todd's Tigers' Loss This Past Weekend

I'm not exactly an SEC football expert. I'm also not really an expert gambler, although I do come from a family that loves to play games and wager - yes, Rollie will probably inherit his great-grandfather's dice - no, i am not kidding, and a Grandma that wouldn't let me win at Sorry!

But for fun, I decided to join the Georgia Sports Blog college football pick'em pool. And somehow, with a few unexpected wins this past weekend, I came up in the top five finishers for the week. (Two first place ties, and three tied for 2nd, so technically, i tied for 2nd.) I jumped from 258 overall, to 174. Not too shabby.

Although I do feel a smidge guilty for benefiting so greatly from the loss of my dear husband's beloved Tigers.

p.s. Brett, did you do this? If so, who are you, and how are you doing?
p.p.s. The user "Dawgter Feelgood" cracks me up.

Dead Souls Walking in Georgia Today

That was the worst half of a football game i have ever witnessed. Completely nightmarish, nauseating, and soul-deadening. I can't even really write about it. I do not even have the energy or heart or strength to think about it until maybe tonight or tomorrow.

Voice of My Childhood

Summer evenings growing up, the Braves were always on TBS in the background. And in the Fall, Larry was on the radio. My first solid memory of him is listening to him call a Kevin Butler field goal kick, sitting in my Mom's red Caprice Classic station wagon, parked in the lots at the soccer fields across from the water tower, waiting for my soccer game in pouring, freezing rain.

UGA passed on. Larry's retiring. I'm thinking it just ain't right if we don't win a title after all of this. And I'm thinking I'm not the only lifelong Bulldog shedding a tear right now.

Bulldawg Bounce

This is just plain funny. Not great, but fun. Go Dawgs!



HT to Pecanne Log, whom i don't know, but read pretty regularly.

R.I.P.

UGA VI.

Unfortunately, I received this news while visiting my new nephew, whose father and grandfather (no relation to me, of course) are Gator fans. Grandfather, a haggard, bitter, and ugly old man, said, "What do they do when a bulldog dies?"

"They bury him in Sanford Stadium," I replied.

He nodded with seeming respect. Then, deadpan: "Figured they'd sell him to a Vietnamese restaurant."

You gotta love the tangled ties of an SEC family.

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose!

I've written numerous times about my mixed marriage. The kids are completely on the fence. They see a G on a car in front of me and yell, "Bulldogs!" or "Georgia for you, Mama!" or they see that AU on a car and say, "Auburn!" Course, Rollie says, "Aubrun," and Tiller actually says, "Bullgogs." Which is really cute.

If they see a G and Todd is in the car, they will ask? "Daddy? You like Bulldogs, right?" And we are good parents, who try to consider if certain things we say might interfere with a child's self-esteem; Who knows if Todd telling Rollie that he doesn't like GA, when Rollie likes both UGA and Auburn, will harm R's burgeoning self-worth?

So we lie.

The standard answer for this from Todd is "Yes, I like them. I like Auburn the best, and then my second favorite team is whoever is playing Bama that week, and then Georgia." Very diplomatic, and not really untrue.

Standard answer from me is also the truth: "Yes, I like Bullgogs first." "Then Tigers, mama?" I think for a minute.

"Well, Bulldogs first, then Panthers, then Tigers.

Everyone in the car, even my 2-year-old, look at me like I am crazy.

"Panthers? Who are Panthers, mama?"

"Dillon Panthers, baby. Dillon Panthers."

Yeah, I seriously have a Friday Night Lights problem, and it's not just about the hot Coach Taylor, either. I cried last night watching them win state in the first season finale. No, I'm not kidding.

Plus, it gives me satisfaction to choose a fictional high school football team over Todd's Tigers. Always the rivalry exists.

DGHG: Dogwood Girl Home and Garden

Baby, I found the perfect new sofa for the new basement.

A Little Sad

No Bulldogs to pull for today. But you better believe I'm pulling for Oklahoma, Pitt, and [throwing up in my mouth a little bit] the Vols. BC could beat VT and that would be okay with me, too. Don't know what I'm talking about? This will explain better than I possibly could.

Iron Bowl

Todd and I took the kids over to his parents' house on Lake Martin, where we did second Thanksgiving dinner (yes, we are complete Hobbits) on Friday with his brother Wade, brother Lyle, and Lyle's wife Denise. Wade was on our shit list for not bringing my new niece, Luci, with him, but he made up for it by bringing her over on Sunday. I ate too much.

On Saturday, Todd and I had to get a new tire for the van, so we got up early to drive to the nearest Wal-Mart, which was in Alexander City ("Alex City" to easter Alabamians in the know). Dear God. Oh, the humanity of a small-town Alabama Wal-Mart on the day of the Iron Bowl! You couldn't walk five feet without someone uttering a "Roll Tide" or "War Eagle" at someone else. People looked at me like I was a Martian, presumably because I was not wearing crimson, blue, or orange, and well. . . why is she not wearing one of those? I think it may have been inconceivable to them that there were other states outside of their own that day. On the day of the Iron Bowl, Auburn, Alabama is the center of the universe. I would be lying if I said that I didn't actually care who won. I pull for Auburn when there is no harm in it, and I have definitely adopted my husband's disdain for the Tide. Good God, there is nothing scarier than a female, middle-aged, bleached-blonde Alabama fan in person. Oh, yeah. And my trivia girls and I have a bit of wager with the Alabama graduate who runs our trivia at Graveyard Tavern. He will be footing the bill for our drinks this evening. I have no kids tomorrow. He should be frightened, very frightened.

After that, we had lunch with his parents and the kids, then headed into Auburn to pick up my friend Brett. Brett and I went to high school and college together and he is one of my oldest, dearest friends. I just don't get to see him as often as I'd like, because he lives in Seattle. Brett has his own family ties to Auburn, so he was in town for the game, but is a Georgia fan, so we decided to meet up for tailgating and watching of the Tech game, and also Ky/Tn.

Despite the fact that Kentucky couldn't pull off the win over Tennessee to send GA to the SEC Championship (which I guess actually gives us a higher bowl berth? Whatever. I am over trying to wrap my little brain around the BCS.), I had an awesome time watching with Brett, and with all of the Auburn and Alabama fans who may not have cared about the outcome of the game, but pulled for Kentucky with me, anyway. SEC fans are the best. They get it.

Afterwards, Brett headed to the game, and Todd and I went over to Iain's in Opelika to watch the game. Mostly, i drank while they watched the game. We started tailgating around 2 pm and we stayed up til 2 a.m., when I stopped dancing and passed out on the foldout with my snoring Todd, and four dogs.

Sunday was hell. Okay, except for the part where I finally got to meet my first ever niece. She is adorable and cute and little and she doesn't talk back or run into things and bust her head open. Oh, and my brother-in-law Wade makes a kick ass spaghetti with meatballs. Perfect cure for a hangover, and totally got me well enough to drive two chilluns back to Atlanta. That drive usually takes two hours, but because of Thanksgiving traffic, it took 3.5 hrs plus. I now know what my hell is: Driving in the dark fog and mist, for all eternity with two children screaming, crying, fighting, and singing, while the car lurches forward in 10 mph spurts and headlights blind me in rearview and my head throbs and my stomach churns and I am so desperate for sleep that I almost, almost pull over at Hogansville to get a motel room, just to put me out of my misery, but it would take me another 30 minutes just to get to the exit ramp, so I might as well push on.

UGA at #4. How the fuck did that happen?

More Iron Bowl pics.

Thank God for Football

Otherwise, I'd be really bored at my parents' for Thanksgiving.

I am watching USC ream AZ State. It is kinda gettin' me excited about a couple more days of football. I'm hoping that my clueless [about football] mother-in-law will schedule her Thanksgiving dinner for some time other than those where I would like to watch games. Like, say, a possibly upset of LSU by Arkansas. Yes, I'm a poor married soul who has to do two Thanksgivings. In two states. And one of them is Alabama.

Then on Saturday, I will be in a football frenzy of
a) Georgia hopefully not thinking Tech will be a cakewalk.
b) 2nd Favorite Team Kentucky hopefully putting a whomp on my Mama's Vols. [Yes, nothing trashier than "your Mama's a Vol!"]
c) Tailgating with husband for Iron Bowl. Should be an interesting Saturday. We actually won't be going to the game itself, just watching outside with friends. Todd knows better than to take me, his Bulldog wife, to an Auburn game, though, as they are 0-3 with the Bulldog wife in attendance. And yes, two of those were between the hedges.

Pictures of Temporary Annulment Day

For my Auburn friends who want to relive the day as much as I do, my Georgia/Auburn set on Flickr.

The Afterglow

. . . Of victory is a beautiful thing. The fun part is that I don't even have to be an asshole, or an obnoxious winner. I just sit and smile at my husband the Auburn fan, and he knows exactly what I'm thinking. I haven't been able to get this smile off my face all morning.

What 1 A.M. Looks Like

I had forgotten. This is what it looks like when Todd and I plan to go directly home after his Loud Music and Beers Book Club at the Flatiron, but then we decide to have one more beer at the Glenwood while waiting for our cab. We run into friends from college and old coworkers. Suicidal Tendencies on the jukebox. It gets a little messy. Good times had by all.

Of course, I am not feeling so awesome right now, and Todd is already War Eagling me, and I am choking down my first cup of coffee and we have to drive to Athens. There are big things on the line here, folks, both in the big football picture for the Dawgs, but also on the home front. We're talking bragging rights for a year, which is a very long time when you are on the losing team. And there's a little punishment in the works for the loser this year, but more on that after we see the outcome this evening.

Go Dawgs!!!

Breaking News!

Worst Day in a Long Time Becomes One of Best Days of Year for Beleaguered Mom, Gator Haters Everywhere

An Atlanta mother of two, sick, and caring for her children and grandfather for the weekend, was pleasantly surprised when her self-described "Worst day ever" became fucking awesome as the Georgia Bulldogs unexpectedly defeated the Florida Gators in Jacksonville this afternoon.

Says Dogwood Girl: "Hell, yeah! Diarrhea be damned, I'm having another beer!"

Membership Revoked

I think I’m going to preemptively turn in my girls’ club membership, because after people read this, it will probably be revoked.

Todd is out of town. He went camping. In Perote. Yes, that is a real place. Pronounced “Pee-Rote.” It is somewhere in the wilds of Alabama. Okay, peeps, here’s the deal. I had tivoed Gossip Girl, America’s Next Top Model, and numerous The Hills and Real World episodes.

Maybe this is Freaky Friday – Todd goes to the middle of nowhere, no electricity or power, where he will not see football all day long. I watch football all day long. Color me Jamie Lee Curtis. Todd is Lindsay, of course.

I just spent the day between about 2:30 and now (11:13) watching football. I did nap for thirty minutes around 3pm. But other than that, I watched football. That is not unusual for me, as Todd and I often spend Fall Saturdays watching football. But tonight, you would think I would be doing the bottle of wine, husband out of town, guilty pleasure Tivo thing. Nope.

Football. I Could. Not. Turn. It. off.

LSU Kentucky. No, wait. KENTUCKY/LSU. Fucking awesome. I had Tiller and Rollie in their pjs yelling “Go Wildcats!” and “Big D!” on that last LSU possession. I even chose to watch those three overtimes over the Bulldogs game. Unheard of, but I really like Kentucky. I think they are a classy act, and I LOVE an underdog and an upset. And I kind of think LSU fans are pompous fuckwads this year, too, for the most part; Heberts and Lambremonts excused. I like to watch an LSU Tiger looking all stunned in the face paint. Good stuff.

Dawgs. God’almighty, they just about broke my heart last week, but they pulled this one out. Knowshon looked stellar in that last quarter. Me likey. I kind of want to make out with Richt when he does stuff like yell at the boys for celebrating too much on the field, and I though him apologizing to Vandy before the media or the fans could even start bitching about it was just another example of what a class act he is. So proud of him as coach. And, hey, if they're gonna have an off season, a rebuilder, or what have you, this is as good a season as any, because the upset factor is keeping me pretty entertained.

Speaking of, Cal. Ha! Little freshman QB was doing okay, but he really choked there on that last play. The annoying part of this whole thing is that fucking Ohio State will move into the number one slot, and I hate them solely on my knowledge of one single Ohio State fan acquaintance. Buckeye Boy is more of a fuckwad than the whole LSU fandom united. Props to T’s Auburn boys for pulling out a tough one against Arkansas, too.

The really sad part is that even when I did watch some of my Tivo stuff, I watched Friday Night Lights. Nope, not kidding.

All in all, good football Saturday. Would’ve been better with a little company.

Oh, wait. . . I gots me a bottle of wine. Which just might secure retainment of my membership card, because I bet I’m the only football fan in Georgia that watched that much ball today while drinking red wine, rather than bourbon or beer. Maybe I'll start the Bulldog Wine Club.

One last football footnote: (God, that’s cute. “Football footnote.”) Must convince Nessie to go see Band of Horses with me tomorrow. Ben Bridwell likes him some Dawgball.

I'm post-dating this. Totally forgot to publish it on Saturday. Wish I had made BOH, but just wasn't feeling like braving a 99X crowd.

Experiencing Indigestion

It has taken me almost an entire week to digest the loss to Tennessee. I still can't really believe it and remember it almost as if it were a very bad dream, a night terror.

I just couldn't bring myself to comment on it at all. I will say that my mother was a very humble loser and did not lord it over us on Sunday the way I thought she would. I think the spanking was so bad that she actually pitied us.

I am not even really looking forward to tomorrow. The Vandy game is completely losable. I don't know if my weak stomach can take anymore.

"The Stadium is Worse Than Bonkers!"

This is kind of a sad day for me as a Bulldog fan. Tonight is the first game in my lifetime that won't be called by Larry Munson.

This article is a good overview of his career, and includes some of his greatest calls. My first recollection of Larry calling a game was about 1984. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was twelve years old and it was a cold and rainy day in Georgia. I played soccer on Saturdays at the Roswell soccer fields. By high school, we would call these fields and their parking, just off the high school campus, "The Water Tower." As in, "meet me at the Water Tower," or the more exciting, "Fight at the Water Tower after school today." Good times. I think we were waiting for my game to begin, sitting in the warmth and dryness of mom's red station wagon. I'm not sure if Lisa was there, and I have no idea where Dad was, but Mom and I listened intently to Larry's voice on the radio as the cold rain poured down.

"So we'll try to kick one a hundred thousand miles. We're holding it on our own 49-and-a-half ... gonna try to kick it sixty yards plus a foot-and-a-half ... and Butler kicked a long one ... a long one ... Oh my God! Oh my God! ... The stadium is worse than bonkers!" - calling Kevin Butler's field goal in the final seconds to win over Clemson in 1984"

You would have to know my mom to have any idea of the response this elicited from her; Words cannot do it justice.

I know a man needs to settle down, but Larry will be missed.