You probably would not know it, even if you know me pretty well, but sometimes I get depressed. It’s never enough to make me unable to function (well, there was that one time after I had the baby, but that was just the hormones), but I just get down. Blah. Uninterested. Bluesy. I don’t really want to leave the house. I don’t really want to clean the house I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to do anything at all. It reminds me of when I was a kid, and it would be raining, and there was nothing to do, and I kept on driving my mom crazy, but whatever she suggested sounded like absolutely no fun to me, and the feeling was just pure frustration.
When I get this way, i think I hide it pretty well from everyone but my sister and my husband. God knows, Todd has certainly been seeing the ill effects of my recent melancholy in the sorry housekeeping I have been doing. But for the most part, I really try to overcome my down days, to find things to do to pull me out of the depression, or at least keep me busy until it passes. Which I guess means that I am not truly depressed at all, because I can still function, can still see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Well, it just seems like lately i have have been bored, depressed, whatever. Maybe it’s the holidays, maybe it’s watching both mine and Todd’s parents deal with their own aging parents, when they should be enjoying their retirements and their golden years. Maybe it is feeling helpless at not being able to make all of the people I love just have it easier, or just get a damn break once in a while.
I am still feeling a little down, but you know what helps? When one of your oldest and dearest friends calls and asks if you can drop everything and help her out by going to New York with her for the weekend. All expenses paid. Because her husband was supposed to go with her and something came up with work and now she will have to go by herself.
Um, okay. I guess so. What? Hells to the yeah, I’ll go! What depression? What boredom?
Who won the lottery?
I did. When I was born to the most awesomest, givingest Mama ever. When I started playing rec-league b-ball with Mealby “Take a Look at My Choices” Barron, and when I met the most understanding, laid-back, fun-loving, hysterical – and yet responsible – man EVER and made my smartest life move yet – Marrying his ass.
My Dad and sister and kids and cutest dog in the world? They are icing on my life cake.