Cool stuff in the sky this week: A full lunar eclipse tonight, the full moon, and the winter solstice tomorrow.
I’ll go ahead and say it. Nerd Central.
Lots of fun this weekend, so hoping to post about it soon, but have a million things to do today, so who knows if that will happen. All you really need to know is that Todd wore a Santa suit.
So, I am the Pirate Queen. I know, I know. . . I should have told you all. But we don’t really talk about it.
That’s a lie. Todd finally told the kids about a year ago.
“Your Mother’s The Pirate Queen.”
I was a little miffed that he didn’t tell them i am The Bandit Queen, because i love her, but I guess Pirate Queen is pretty bitchin’ too. The kids were in awe. They scream and get that scared look when I play pirate queen. We even have an old trunk in our bedroom that belonged to my Aunt Lessie. Todd told the kids that they can’t go into the trunk because it contains a skeleton. In reality, it holds:
a couple of tees that belonged to the kids when they were babies
Love letters and crap from a couple of ex-boyfriends (guess i should get rid of them, but i think they are funny)
three old hat boxes
mardi gras beads
college diploma and cap and gown
pennies
photos
God knows what else. (I don’t open it! There’s a skeleton in there!)
So, the other day, Tiller and I were at Jason’s Deli. The cool thing about JD is that they have both ice cream and a salad bar. I can get healthy stuff and tiller can get diabetes. Win win.
So, we are sitting there. Tiller has her ice cream cone in one hand and her potato chip in another, dipping the chips into the ice cream. Her hair makes her look like a mental patient, because she cut it herself that morning with craft scissors. I am on my iPhone, getting my ass kicked in Scrabble by Jerry Kane, which is sad, because i have like a million hours to come up with a play while Tiller, the slowest eater in the East, finishes her Ice Cream Chips.
Tiller whispers, pointing a finger over my head, her eyes HUGE in her face: “Mama.”
Me, distractedly, because how am I going to overcome the damn EIGHTY POINT WORD JERRY KANE JUST LAID ON ME? “Yes, baby?”
Tiller: “Mama, look. It’s a pirate.” Her frightened whisper catches my attention.
Me, pushing her pointing finger down to the tabletop: “Baby, it’s not nice to point.” I look over my right shoulder as a man walks past. I watch him walk to his table, his back to us, then he pulls out a chair, sits down, and his face is revealed to me as he turns to his dining partner.
He’s wearing an eye patch.
The Decemberists’ The Bandit Queen, for reference:
Woke up this morning to hear Tiller singing 12 verses of her original song, “Whole World Friends.” Then Todd whispered that he was taking the kids to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast (kind of a ritual for Todd and the kids on Saturday mornings) and then they were going on to Lowe’s for their free kids’ building seminar, and they wouldn’t be back until lunch.
BEST. HUSBAND. EVER.
You thought this was going to be some fun post about 80s hairstyles [Robin, I’m lookin’ at you], and oh, are you going to be disappointed. It’s a post about a comb. From the 80s. No, I am not kidding you.
See, we were talking about 80s stuff at a girls’ night recently, and somehow Todd’s comb came up.
We're taking it on Antiques Roadshow next time they come around.
I am pretty sure it is the comb that he had in middle school or high school, because I remember people having similar ones, TWENTY FIVE YEARS AGO.
What is truly funny about this is that I started dating Todd eleven years ago this week (we met on February the 13th, 1999) and I think i laughed once or twice about this comb, like, “haha, couldn’t afford a new comb, huh?” and then somehow, i just started using the comb when I was spending the night over there, and one day, the comb was not funny to me anymore, and now i use the comb from 1986, and don’t even think twice about it, and that is just sad, and some kind of even sadder comment on what marriage does to a girl.
Like I’m so downtrodden that I can’t even buy my own damn modern day comb. And if i did buy one, it wouldn’t be aqua, white, and pink, that’s for dang sure.
A wonderful birthday surprise was pulled over on me last evening. Todd took me to Iberian Pig for dinner (very good – I almost cried, the Bacon-Wrapped Dates were so good.) Then we walked over to Twain’s to play some pool and found a kajillion friends there. i was suspicious, though, as not one of my friends asked me to do something for my birthday. Still made me feel sick to my stomach to be the center of attention, but I washed that away with beer. Head only hurt a little bit today.
Thanks again to Ned and Vanessa for carting me home. (They didn’t have to use a cart. I swear.) They are the best.
Pictures didn’t come out that great, but I did take one that cracked me up really hard. I took it with QuadCamera for the iPhone. It takes four shots in succession. Todd has a new shirt that has snaps, instead of buttons. The chicks were totally diggin’ it. . .
That third one just kills me.
Why, yes . . . yes, I did get a $100 dollar Georgia Bulldog birdhouse for my birthday. Funny story behind that, which I will get to in a moment. But first, I have to say that I had a lovely morning, getting to sleep late, which for people with kids means eight a.m. (Screw you, childless folk.)
I woke up to Todd and Tiller climbing in bed with me (Rollie had already caught the bus), and Todd doing a darn good version of The Beatles’ “Birthday,” with Tiller grinning like a cheshire cat and a cup of coffee materializing on my bedside table.
Coffee. In. Bed.
Then I was informed that I should finish my coffee get dressed and go downstairs. I did, and I found this:
Hundred dollar Georgia Bulldog birdhouse with hydrangea and cards.
I was a little caught off guard. That is one big ass bulldog birdhouse. Did the Tiger husband really buy me a bulldog birdhouse? Is this a joke? (Also, let’s be honest. While I am a bulldog fan, I don’t want to be those people. You know, the ones who have UGA everything. That being said, if those folks at the lake ever die, I am so going to try to buy their huge Bulldog statue they have in front of their cabin, right on the lake.)
We opened the very sweet cards from the kids and Todd, and I oohed and aahhed over the birdhouse and the hydrangea. I asked Todd, “Am i really allowed to put the birdhouse in the yard?” It seemed to pain him as he replied, “yes, baby, you just tell me where.”
“Where on earth did you get it?” I asked.
“Echo’s garage!” Tiller replied with glee. “Echo” is what Tiller calls Mr. Echols, the old man who lives next door to us. Some things you just don’t correct, because they are too cute.
I stared at Todd and then the truth came out.
Mr. Echols likes to show us stuff in his yard. He has a friend, who made him a couple of birdhouses, huge wooden deals, kind of more on the side of what Todd and I call, “Country Christian” or “Ducks in Bonnets” style than cool and funky folk art Finster-style birdhouses. Meaning, not exactly what I would choose, but neat enough.
So, Echo was showing Todd the birdhouses and telling him about the friend who makes them, and all the different styles he makes. “He also makes Georgia Bulldog birdhouses,” he said.
Todd replied, “Oh, Anne would love that!” Being polite, you know.
So, a few days before Christmas, Mr. Echols pulled Todd aside to show him my new birdhouse. That’s right. He just went ahead and had the guy make me the birdhouse. FOR A HUNDRED DOLLARS.
Todd had already bought me Christmas gifts, and he didn’t want to hurt Echo’s feelings, so he decided the birdhouse would be my birthday gift.
And what a gift it is. . . I will never look at that birdhouse without thinking that my husband, the Auburn Tiger, is sweet enough to just cough up the hundred bucks so as not to hurt Echo’s feelings, and that he loves me enough to put up a bigass Bulldog backyard birdhouse for me.
Already this birthday is pretty bitchin.’ Thanks, Toddler!
This makes my heart happy.
And other assorted Auburn Thanksgiving happenings.
Todd’s dad gave us his tickets to the Auburn/Alabama game, and they watched the children for us to boot. I had tailgated before, but had not actually been in the stadium for a game. The hate was palpable. Beforehand was stellar people-watching, as usual.
These Auburn fans named their children following the Alabama Scotch tradition. I know Todd was hoping they were Bama fans, but nope! AU.
Possibly my favorite moment of the day was cutting through a tunnel of a building on campus and getting caught behind the AU marching band warming up.
We waited behind them as they warmed up, then slowly followed them out of the tunnel as they played.
It is not very often that you have a marching band to lead you in. The sun glinting off Tubas and drums was kinda magical.
Scarlett and her cousin, Thomas. . .
Ned and Nessie
Brandon and Carlie . . .
And Ned's brother Chris set me up with a Bloody Mary. And the Anne was happy.
My partners-in-crime for the Tiger Walk - Brandon, Carlie, and Vanessa. None of them had ever seen it either!
Then we realized we were right next to the Tiger Walk, so I went to check it out for people-watching research. It was well worth it.
Oh, the people-watching. I adore stupid football shirts like this one.
Did i mention it was a perfect sunny day? Not hot OR cold?
Yep, more dumb shirtage. It was like shootin' fish in a barrel.
Well, good day to YOU, sir!
I don't know what you call these things, but I want a Georgia one, for when I am trying to get the troops at home to clean house.
I wonder what possesses a man to get up in the morning and put this on his head.
Or a perfectly good, self-respecting souther woman to wear pants like these?
I mean, come on, ladies. You look like couches.
I can't say anything snarky about this little girl, because she was just as cute as can be.
My old friend Brett came in town for the iron bowl and brought his girlfriend. They live in Seattle. It was fun to see her in his native habitat.
Lucy gets her picture made with this interesting Tiger setup. It was her first SEC game, and boy did she pick the right one.
Interesting setup here. Todd wouldn't let me go sit down with these kids.
This just cracked me up.
This is Todd's good friend Chuck's sister. Chuck is the friend that couldn't make it to their 20th reunion, so I pretended to be him after his sex change and caused much confusion on the part of former classmates. I highly recommend adopting a fake persona when attending a spouse's reunion. Lying makes it more fun. Corey and I talked about my crush on her sister-in-law.
We saw Todd's friend Jared and his son, Jack.
Todd and Inflatable Aubie
Even the program guys get into the spirit.
This woman claimed to be wearing Auburn panties, but I don't buy it. Blingy, too! These getups just slay me.
We ran into Adria and Chris on the way in.
I chatted with this woman in the tunnels to our seats. She was nice, and I respect her fashion choices.
There was an eagle on the sidelines. Once again, i got to the stadium too late to see the damn eagle fly. I am starting to doubt that it really does fly.
Todd sitting next to his Bama buddy for the game.
Auburn and Alabama, side by side. I am not kidding - the hatred is palpable in this stadium.
I love catching fans in the throes of anger, despair, or disgust.
He's back! They guy from the UGA game! Todd and i love him.
You know that your marital ties have brought you down to inappropriate depths when you go to an Auburn game and recognize the fans.
First half was good. Then we left (I had enough of the mouthbreather behind me, and of being packed in like sardines.) Second half? Not so good.
To be continued. . . And you know you have to read it, because it is just like you were there, and you can almost smell the November sunshine. Also, the suspense is killing you. Did Todd cry when they game was over?
Todd and I went to Athens on Saturday, for our biennial Georgia vs. Auburn football game attendance. My father-in-law usually gives us his tickets for the game when it is in Athens. He does, however, reserve the right to revoke this gift in case of the game being some huge, season-altering event for Auburn, such as both teams going into the game undefeated. Needless to say, that revocation was not put into action this season, as both teams are sucking ass.
So, we got up on Saturday, had a quiet coffee together (kids were already in Auburn with grandparents!) and then drove up to Athens. After dropping off the dog, and going back by the house to get the tickets, of course. Helps to get into the stadium if you have them.
We stopped at my friend Brant’s house and left my camera battery to charge on his porch. He was not there, and despite our best efforts to meet up, we never got ourselves together enough to do so. That did not step him and Opel from sending me awesome texts that made me laugh throughout the game. Most were directed at my dear husband, the Auburn Tiger, and what he could put into his mouth after any given play in the game.
We had T-stand (that one’s for you, Scotty P, Honey, and Ryan – if any of you can tell me exactly what I ordered, i will mail you five bucks) for lunch, then headed off to find somewhere to park. Not fun. Ended up paying a ridiculous amount for parking. I have to say that, even in the throng of obnoxious people out and about in on game day, there are few better feelings than walking around Athens and the University of Georgia campus with a beer in hand, especially when the temperature is in the 70s in November.
We headed off to Horton Drugs (I love an old-school drugstore), so that I could purchase some Tylenol, since I was coming down with a cold all that day. The old pharmacist actually came out from behind the counter and helped me find the Tylenol, even pointing out the generic, while the hippie kid cashier was obviously high.
Horton's Drugs
The Georgia Theater, November 2009
We headed over to The Globe for beer. I never really spent that much time at the Globe when I was in Athens, because I thought it was expensive and that the people who hung out there were old, professorial, and boring. Funny how your perspective changes as you age.
We went inside, grabbed a table, and then Todd went to the bar to get us a Terrapin. (When in Rome.) A seat opened up at the couch in the window. Snagged it. Then Todd, eagle eye that he is, noticed a table outside and grabbed that, and the rest is history. We did not move again until time to go to the game. Why would we move when it was 70 degrees and we had the best people watching EVER? I was not able to get shots of most of these astounding outfits, but I did snap a few.
You gotta love a town where people bring their cooler with them into the bar.
You can't tell, but this charming lady has overalls with GA patches all over, including a huge one on her butt. Flattering!
Overalls aren't just for the ladies. At least this gentleman knows that vertical stripes are slimming!
This lady cracked me up. She has a football field sweater. A bulldog necklace. She is not messing around about her love of the Bulldogs.
Even the bulldogs want you to be sure you know for whom they are pulling . . .
Fellows of the Peanut Gallery
On their way to grab beer from the car.
I love this time of day in Athens.
Old Stomping Grounds
I mostly posted this one because I like the light. I do not endorse tobacco use.
This is not what the front of Park Hall looked like when I went to school here. Fancy!
This is what i look like very sober. This is what Todd looks like when he is humoring me.
This is what i look like when I am heckling a young man trying to pee in a corner.
This is the only picture I could get of me with Annie showing her face.
This guy evidently never ages. He has been there as long as I can remember. Note that I have no problem with people who love Jesus; Only the ones who tell me I am going to burn in hell when i am just trying to have a good time with friends at a football game.
See up there in the very top of the left-hand corner? That is where we sat.
This guy was uber-enthusiastic. I thought Todd might end up making out with him.
It would be third down, Auburn, and he would turn around and rile the crowd up.
Then he would turn back around to watch the play. He was more entertaining than the game.
This woman was the Auburn version of my Mom cheering for the Vols. Look at those flashing eyes! She was looking right at me, too, Bulldog interloper that i am.
Sweet, sweet sleep was finally had by me. Except not really, because I got the consumption and coughed all night.
Morning in Bishop, GA.
Oh! Who won, you ask?
Why, the Bulldogs, of course. It was a great game.
Final: 31-24.
My streak continues. See, Todd and I have gone to three Auburn/GA games together in Athens. Georgia has won all three. I also went to an Auburn game with Todd in Auburn, when they played some crappy team. Florida Atlantic, or something like that. Auburn lost that time, too. So, I am not sure whether I am a good luck charm for Georgia, or more of a curse for Auburn.
I like to think it is a little of both.