Bad Vibes

Online now, my dear friend and fellow weirdo, Billipsimo. Jason is in my top five (non-fam) people in the world, he is in fact almost family, and he challenges my sister and me in the race for person with dumbest and strangest idiosyncracies. He has been calling, commenting, and cackling at Dogwood Girl and the humiliation she shoulders and dishes out with even helpings for years now. I have tried and tried, badgered and bribed to get him to start blogging, and finally he caved.

The result?

Bad Vibes

Now we can all see into the strange and frightening carnival of midgets, monkeys, china dolls, and stipe that is jason's brain.

Evan's Wedding

All joking about reading addictions aside, Evan's wedding was a blast. Can you say Tiki bar? How about Shrimp and Grits? Not just seeing old friends, but getting to see them, without kids, for two days straight? My belly laughed like it hadn't laughed in years - I was sore afterwards. (Or maybe that was all the waterlogged Flying Burritos I got in the pool at 1 a.m.)

Best of all? Nightswimming in a calm ocean under a full moon. What hurricane?

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from the weekend, along with a link to the whole set on flickr.

Evan getting last minute lovin' from the ladies on Friday night.

Fran the Cougar with her prey, Dan.

Me and Jason, friends since 10th grade biology.

Me and the Creeker boys.

Dan and Wendy at the Reception, which was extremely hot. I think you can actually smell Dan from this picture.

Jason and Laura

My nemesis for the weekend, Kyle, a.k.a. Corey Haim.

Me and the ole ball and chain, all spiffied up.

Me and D, who is no longer a delinquent teen, but an upstanding husband and father, with some damn cute kids and a hot wife.

The happy groom and me.

Life Lesson

Friendship is more important than proving oneself right. Note: I did not believe this ten years ago, and it still does not come easily or naturally to me this day. But I am trying.

It is Nice

When those you love very much, whom you would do just about anything for, and whom you know would do the same for you, affirm their love for you.

There is something so powerful about old friendships, the ones where you have ridiculously funny memories of growing up together, of fucking up together, of grieving together and for each other, and of rejoicing in each other's meaningful life moments.

I love you too, Mealby. But then, I was forced to: Take a look at my choices.

P.s. I love you too, Jason B., even though you will probably call me tomorrow with the cackle laugh and make fun of me for my sappiness.

Belated Birthday Post

I often feel like reflecting on another year when my birthday comes around, but for some reason, I didn't feel like it yesterday. Once again, I feel like my birthday is just a number, and I am stuck at 27 or so, and I know that the number of years mean nothing. I love my 30's, though - I feel like I know more about the things I want out of life, and I know who the important people are, and I know to let the other things and people slide, because life is way too short to waste time on the meaningless, and on regrets. My birthday, though, has always been tinged with regret, because I hurt people around me on my birthday one year, and every year, I wake up and regret that I caused pain, and the first thing I think of is how this birthday will inevitably be better than that birthday. And every year, it never fails, no matter how lackluster it is, it is better than the terrible birthday. Life has a funny way of giving you things to remember as horrible, and in that way gives you the gift of context; You can always compare an event to the event by which all other events are measured and be reminded that things are generally good, and you should appreciate it for what it is. See people? I can be a glass half full person. i can!

This year was no different. Todd took me out on Friday for my "real" birthday celebration, which meant that we were able to eat dinner together in a decent restaurant without dealing with whiners and spills, and cutting things up, and making sure things weren't too hot, and all the little things that a meal with children require of parents. We stayed out late, and we had hangovers on Saturday, and they were worth it, because we had fun together. Then yesterday, Todd got up with the kids, which meant i was able to sleep about 10 minutes later than usual. It sucks being an adult on your birthday - you still have to battle yucky weather, and get kids to school, and pick kids up. You still have to smear peanut butter on bread and pour milks. Nobody makes you a handmade crown. But you do get to go out that night and your family has you blow out candles (Yes, Rollie, they do have that many candles at the grocery store,) and you have cupcakes (chocolate with hot pink icing!). You get phone calls from people who don't call you regularly, and nice emails, and cards, and people remind you that they love you. And you feel loved. And you win at trivia, and that is always a great birthday gift.

Thanks to all the wonderful people who made me feel very special yesterday, in a ton of different ways. You know who you are, and I love you all.

Old Friends

Spent yesterday morning with my old friends Mike and Bryan and their families. Mike is an old high school friend, and Brian I met at Georgia. Mike has been living in the Netherlands for the past . . .four? years or so, but he and wife Kat and two boys are moving back to the states.

We met at Mike's sister's house, and another of his sisters (Mary) was there with her son, and it was just so fun to see my old friends and their wonderful wives and families (who read Dogwood Girl and are very accepting of my potty mouth. Thank God Mike's Mom doesn't read it, because I think she still hates me for not wearing shoes in her house in high school; DogwoodGirl might put her over the edge.) They even fed us and the kids. It was like a morning on vacation.

It is easy to lose touch with old friends, to never find the time to get together. But when you do get together, you find that many things have changed, and many things have stayed the same, and you are reminded of why you were friends with them in the first place. And you are warmed to know they are still in your life.

And also to find out that they will be living near the beach. The warm, warm beach.

p.s. Mike and Kat's blog is no longer Hollandsenieuwe; New locale, new name - Resident Aliens. Check'em out as they wade back into life in the states, and Kat searches for a position teaching Environmental Policy at the college level.

p.p.s. None of my pics of Bryan, Genia, and Henry came out well at all. Wah!

Charleston Recap

We started with dinner at Coast. Very good.

Then we dropped Mom off at the hotel and headed to The Blind Tiger for drinks with the wedding peeps. It was funny, because I had been to this bar before, only a couple months after Todd and I started dating. His friend Kate was married at the same place that my friend Marc married at Saturday night, and the night after her wedding, everyone went out for drinks. We went to the Blind Tiger, where Kate passed out at a table in the courtyard. Ah, memories.

We had to wait a while for our friends, and Lisa is knocked up, so she was pretty much over it by the time they got there, but she perked up when she saw old friends and managed to stay out for a good while. I stayed longer, and had the pleasure of chatting with my old friend Pierce's wife, Fowler, for a good long while. She is awesome, which I totally would have imagined for Pierce.
They next morning, Lisa and I headed out for coffee and shopping. We hit the Farmer's Market, which really consisted of us oohing and aaahing over all the cute dogs people were walking around. The weather was perfect. We walked all down King Street looking at shops and I even saw real live fancy shoes at Bob Ellis. I think if I ever were rich, I would have a shoe problem. Plus, shoes and makeup are fun because they don't make you feel fat. Lisa and I both bought matching heart necklaces and did the sister bonding thing. See how cute we are?

After that, we met up with Mom for lunch. It was a good thing we started looking for a lunch place when we did, because if we had waited any longer, Pregzilla might have eaten Meeting St. We went to Monza for pizza, because that's what sounded good to the zilla. It was really good, and the service was great, and they played Wilco and Bloc Party, and once Lisa ate something, she was a human again. If any of you are paying attention now, you will realize that Lisa is wearing the sweater I wore on Saturday night. It is hers and really comfy. You will also realize that I am wearing the same shirt from the night before. I know! I packed like 500 things and did what I always do - Ended up wearing the comfortable tee. It's my signature look.

After lunch, Mom and Lisa headed home to nap (?!!) and I found a bar with as many tvs as possible so as to assure that I saw at least the first half of the Georgia/Kentucky game. I sat with some lovely Ohio State fans, and some not-so-lovely Gators and Vols. Most people were watching Ohio State/ Michigan. I had to leave at halftime to go get dressed for a 4PM wedding. Evidently, people from the Carolinas and Texas did not get the memo about NO WEDDINGS IN THE FALL IN THE SOUTH. It was explained to me later by the Texan groom that they just don't do weddings on Sundays, because of the Cowboys. Whatevers. UGA won, and I was spared the heart-attack and heartbreak-inducing Tenn/Vandy game. Arrrrgggggh.

Found the lovely wedding location, Lowndes Grove, with time to spare. I always wonder what Yankees think of the south when they see a place like Lowndes Grove. Do they think that Southerners are immune to the beauty of such a place? Do they think regular folks live in places like this? Not so. I am in awe whenever I am in a place like this. The weather was beautiful and the ceremony was timed perfectly to coincide with a lovely sunset over the Ashley River. Wedding went off without a hitch, even with that tricky "speak now or forever hold your peace" part. (Oh, the thoughts that went through my head just then, little Marky! Exploding hotdogs! Underage preteens passed out on my parents parquet floor! The never ending retaliatory prank calls the bride will endure!

Okay, here are the rest of the pics, taken before the reception was over and we got to the too-drunk-to-operate-camera, much-less-my-own-two-mysteriously-skinned-up-legs portion of the evening. Twas not pretty, but was better than my horribly-hung-over Sunday. Note to self: When drinking copious amounts at open bar, also partake of dinner buffet.

Me and Marc's college roomie, Mitchell, who lives in Midtown.








Lisa, Fowler, and my Mom.








Two not-so-sober old acquaintances. I hadn't seen John in almost 20 years. I think the last time I saw him I was cleaning up puke at Aunt Dot's house. He was probably 15. Got to meet his wife, Ashley, a sassy and cute Aussie.







The reasons we were there - My mom and the Groom's mom, Judy, who were childhood friends in Chattanooga.

How I Became a Mean Girl

There is a reason that I have always preferred friendships with guys over friendships with girls. Sure, I have found in my older years that it is nice to have girlfriends, that they understand the singular difficulty surrounding being a daughter, wife, and mother, but women are all so sensitive. Men, on the other hand, never get their feelings hurt, and you can bribe them with the promise of sexual favors and never make good on those, and they will still be your friend, for like 20 + years and going strong. (Seriously, guys, I am totally good for those promises. I promise. Just another ten years or so.)

I am not a sensitive person. I don't know if I am self-absorbed, or if I am just clueless. I do know that my guy friends don't have their feelings hurt about things, and then not say anything to me about it for months, while instead talking to other friends about how I hurt their feelings, while I sit around having no fucking clue that I hurt their feelings in the first place. Usually, the first friend's confidante in turn tells me about having hurt Friend 1's feelings, but with the caveat that I can't tell the first friend that I know that her feelings are hurt, thereby making it impossible for me to rectify the problem or apologize to Friend #1 without being a bad friend to Friend #2.

This is complete bullshit. If you have your feelings hurt, just fucking tell me. Otherwise, move on. Guys don't seem to get their feelings hurt, and if they do, they sure as hell don't talk about it to other people, and they don't hold grudges. They get over it.

People, I just like to have a good time drinking margaritas and beer on the beach. I don't really care who is sitting there with me. All are welcome. I buy what I can afford at the time. Contrary to popular belief, everything I do is not a calculated move to hurt people. Hell, nothing I do is calculated. I don't usually know what I am going to do in the next ten minutes, much less have a Machiavellian plan for being the Queen Bee or a Mean Girl.

Oh, and another thing? The clique thing? So eighth grade. Can't we all just be adults and get along? Better yet, can't we actually bring in some new blood every once in a while? We are thirty, not eighty. I still enjoy meeting new people. It makes life interesting. Let's live a little.

Love,
Heather