Oh, The Weight of the Guilt

The mommy guilt, that is.

I work ten hours a week on a contract that should have been up in November of 2004, but which continues to drag on and on and on. It is hard to complain, when i can work at home, be with my little man, and get paid for it. It usually isn’t too stressful, but when it is, I am completely torn. Today is one of those days. . . .

I woke up yesterday to find that a few errors had been assigned to me for my work. I told the assigner that i would get to them today, as I only work part time, and I had already made plans for Rollie and I to attend playgroup in the boonies. Plus, it involved a POOL. Did I mention that I am knocked up and there is nothing better than knocked up and floating in a pool? (Except maybe knocked up and floating in a pool while the nanny watches the boy. . . .)

So, this morning, i woke up and got started on my work. I have been trying to limit Rollie’s TV intake, but when faced with a choice between Rollie watching Sesame while I work or Rollie hanging on my knee and “helping” me type while i work, guess which won out? Hello, Elmo! (You little red, fuzzy fucker. Teehee. . . “Fuzzy Fucker.” Funny.)

So, now it is 1 PM, and i am still working my errors, Rollie has not only watched Sesame Street, but also an episode of Dora (“d-d-d-d_d-Dora!'”), and three episodes of Thomas.

I am the crappiest mother in the world.


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