Beater: A Creepy Childhood Memory

So, not sure how this came up last night, but it is scary and funny all at the same time. Growing up, we had this guy living with his parents down the street from us. He was probably somewhere from 18 to 25 and he was ultra strange. He had an arm that didn’t work, and it would just hang at his side as he walked down the street past our house. I never saw him drive. He would just walk down the street back to his house from where ever he had been, carrying a brown paper bag in the good arm. Never knew what was in the bag.

So, we always thought he was scary, and he rarely talked to us kids. We never talked to him. If anything, we moved away from the street edge of the yard when we saw him coming. Even at ten years old, a kid senses when someone just ain’t right. Turns out we were right on the money.

A little girl was selling girl scout cookies one day. She rang the guy’s doorbell. He came to the door wearing nothing but a towel. He stood there and stared at her, then dropped the towel. Eeewww.

Then, another time, he got caught playing with himself while watching kids play at the pool! Double eww.

My memory is fuzzy, but I want to say that there was another time when he may have asked us kids about the girl that lived next door to us. As in, “who is that blond girl?” Creepy!

All in all, I am surprised that there was no parental outpouring of hatred for this guy. I tell you what, though. Kids are mean as all get out. What did we call him?

Beater.

I don’t know why that makes me laugh now, but Todd thinks it is funny, too. (So, maybe there is something wrong with both of us.) Also not sure why i had to write about this, but it is part of the landscape of my suburban Atlanta childhood and I didn’t want to forget it.

  4 comments for “Beater: A Creepy Childhood Memory

  1. Lee Lee
    July 28, 2009 at 10:54 am

    You forgot to mention the time he tried to pay said blond girl $20 if she would kiss him. Eww.

    We called him Beater because he would always beat off at pool. Double ewww.

  2. July 28, 2009 at 2:10 pm

    Ugh!!!!! I just almost threw up. So forgot that!!!!

  3. Jason
    July 28, 2009 at 6:04 pm

    Did he live on the other side of the Slyman’s? I can still picture him walking down the street. Didn’t recall the brown bag. Funny. I def recall the autoeroticism at the pool!

  4. July 28, 2009 at 9:46 pm

    Yes, past Slyman’s, past the Halls. Maybe the next house? Would have to look.

    Were you there for the pool incident? I mean, THAT pool incident. (So many incidents in our history for that one little pool!)

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