Going Gray

So, in the course of any given day, I have about five to ten main things I want to get done. I am terrible at completing tasks. TERRIBLE. I get very overwhelmed by a pile of tasks at hand, and if I don’t just concentrate on only my top priority, I will make myself crazy. Things that I stress about include:

Making doctor’s appointments for me, the kids.
I need to start taking a multivitamin.
I did not write a word today.
I have not been keeping up with my blog.
I feel like posting about anything on my blog other than the things I am REALLY preoccupied with is “false.”
I have not worked out today.
I have not called the doctor about my ankle, and if my ankle is going to get better, I need to do that.
If my ankle isn’t better, how will I run?
I am fat.
I need to eat better.
I need a new composting solution.
I need to check work email.
I need to do work.
Facebook is the devil.
I need to stop drinking so much during the week.
I need to clean litter box.
I need to trim shrubbery.
I need to work more in yard.
We never finished renovations on house.
There is cat puke on the bedspread and i haven’t cleaned it up yet.
I need to help my mom and dad.
I need to help my sister.
I haven’t worked on my family history files in ages. What if I die? They will never get done.
What if I die?
Do i have anxiety?
I have anxiety.
I have never had anxiety before.
I need to get the oil changed.
I wish I was more like Todd when it comes to laundry.
I hate laundry.
I hate putting away laundry.
I hate feeling guilty about doing laundry.
Do you think today is the day todd will divorce me over the laundry?
I need more large pots for my patio.
I should go to yard sales to find them for cheap.
Don’t forget to pick up a cushion for the lounge chair at the lake.
On clearance.
The kids need to turn off the tv and get more exercise.
I haven’t finished the dates for the damn school newsletter schedule yet, or i’d take them to the pool. No, I wouldn’t because I need to start dinner.
I am going to let down 500 elementary school kids who won’t have a newsletter.
I am going to let down my family
I am going to let down myself.

You get the idea. So, any time that I can take one thing off my plate, i am for it.

Which is why I have decided that I am going to stop dyeing my hair.

I have been going gray since college. I guess it is God’s way of punishing me for all the dyeing and crazy hair colors of my youth that now i am doomed to the albatross of dyeing my hair twice a month. As it is, I dye it at home. When I say, “I,” I mean Todd. Yes, Todd dons the plastic gloves, which are way too small for his manly hands, and he dyes my hair like a pro. Sort of. Having the salon dye my hair is not an option: It is too expensive and time-consuming to have it done, and at the rate that my hair grows out, and with the amount of gray that I have, it needs to be done about every two weeks.

Whatever. I am over it. I am chucking the outdated, Loving Care Loreal ideal of beauty in a box. I am embracing my gray. Now, you probably have some questions about this process. Hopefully, the following will help answer those:

    Yes, Todd has been notified. And by “notified,” I mean that I stared at him without a trace of a smile, and told him what I was going to do and he was too scared to laugh, show disbelief, or protest in any manner.
    Yes, when it all grows out, my head will probably look like I am wearing a hat made solely of gray pubic hair.
    Yes, I will probably be wearing a lot of hats and scarves this fall.
    Yes, I will probably break down and dye it again by this time next year. It’s nice to keep options open.
    Yes, I’m going to document this in photos and post them on my blog; Just think of the self-embarrassment potential! It’s, like, photojournalism. I’m pretty sure that Oprah will pick it up, or I will get book offers in the coming months.

Okay! Who’s with me? Hello? Hellooo! Whatever. Screw you fancy dye-job, black-rooted, broke-ass, slave-to-fashion bitches!

I already feel better about having one less damn thing to worry about. FTW!

Tags: , , ,

8 Responses to “Going Gray”

  1. Lee Lee says:

    Omg. I just laughed so hard. I think that is the best post you have ever written. That’s pretty much my thought process all day long. All the things I need to do, that I’m not doing, that I suck because I’m not doing. So with you!

  2. Nikki says:

    I am with you, Anne, you can do it! I haven’t dyed my hair in over a year – it’s the first time I’ve seen my natural hair color in ages. Ok, ok, it’s true my hair is still mostly brown with more and more gray showing each year, but still….right? It’s a huge relief to let go of the coloring.

  3. Jason says:

    Lisa stole my comments. This is my favorite post next to the one at the amusement park in Chattanooga.

    Your post makes me feel almost normal. I, too, struggle with completing tasks and an inability to prioritize which equals NOTHING EVER GETTING DONE. I beat myself up about 18 hours a day come to think of it.

    Funny thing about the gray hair. I have been pissed at myself for shaving my beard this past February (which is half gray). For the record, I didn’t shave it because it was gray. I shaved it because I thought that it was more important to look professional at work. Screw it. I decided yesterday that I was going to regrow.

    Hears to gray hair and the inability to complete tasks!

    Great stuff…

  4. Jason says:

    Uh, “Here’s”….

  5. suz says:

    Wow, your list is just like the kinds of stuff that goes through my mind all day long too..although I don’t have kids, so substitute my dog for those. I applaud your decision not to dye anymore. I’ll have to do that at some point, as at 36 I’m already over half gray. Probably from all those obsessive worries constantly running through my head!

  6. Dogwood Girl says:

    I think my list is probably more common to women than one might think, as I have had an overwhelming response today of people agreeing that they also stress about the same things. . . Thanks for reading!

  7. Dogwood Girl says:

    Leelee and Jason = Not surprised at ALL that you guys like the list. I learned my anxiety from y’all! And I also love you both for supporting me in my writing. Always almost makes me cry.

    I see your true colors. . .

    Nikki – I can’t tell in pics that you have any gray at all, so that is great!

    Suz – I clicked over to your blog – You are not alone in the great weight struggle. Right there with you. You can do it!

  8. […] some of you know, I am growing out my gray hair. Now that it is growing out, it isn’t as gray as my stylist and i had originally thought […]

Leave a Reply