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Um, Yum?

June 14th, 2006

Night before last, i was putting Rollie down for the night. We were going through our ritual of saying “Goodnight” to everything in God’s name (“Goodnight, Dora. Goodnight cowboy pictures, Goodnight Chicken Blues, Goodnight light.” And so on, ad nauseum.) I kissed him on the forehead and realized he was chewing on something. He had a board book in his hand, so i thought maybe he had peeled off some of the paper and was eating it.

Me: “Rollie, what are you eating?”
[Rollie looks at me with big, innocent brown eyes. He smiles a sweet, proud smile.]
Rollie: “Toenail,” he says, nodding as if to say, “Toenails are pretty good!”

Sometimes you just have to let them figure out for themselves what tastes good and what doesn’t.

There, I’ve Said it

June 13th, 2006

Alcohol and dieting don’t mix. I could have lost a whole lot more weight by now if i just quit drinking. Or drinking during the week. Or even just drinking at home.

So, my sister and I have made a pact. I am not drinking again until 4th of July weekend. We have a wedding to attend that weekend.

Wish me luck! I am going to need it!

An Evening in the (East Atlanta) Village

June 12th, 2006

I had dinner with friends last night, including an old college friend, Jason, and his wife Allison. I’m not sure how Jason and I met, but he was a fixture during my college years, we have shared numerous drunken evenings and one trip to the hospital together, and more importantly, he will always have a place in my heart as one of the people who helped me get over my first and only truly broken heart. We have occasionally corresponded over the years, but hadn’t seen each other again since I graduated. It is always strange to see someone after that long, and you anticipate it with a mixture of happiness and, for me, nervousness. What if this person has changed drastically? What if I have become boring? What if I am fat from having two children? And it never fails that all of this “what if” is for naught, because the person is always almost exactly the same, and yet so wonderfully different, but in a good way. And I always realize that I could talk to them for hours, catching up, and even after we go our separate ways, i think of a million things to ask them.

Anyway, I had a nice dinner and a few beers with my sister, Lisa, our friend Vanessa (another UGA friend, who also knew Jason,) Jason and Allison, and their friend Amanda at local hangout The Earl. Amanda was quite a talker, in a winning, contagious way, although her biceps brought me down a few notches. I had been feeling pretty good about my consistent workouts, weight loss, and strength training, but if you want to blow all that to smithereens, I highly suggest that you have dinner with an IronMan triathlete, his long-distance swimmer wife, and their triathlete friend.

Anyway, it was a great evening. Jason, Allison, and Amanda left pretty early (Jason is starting his new job today). Lisa, Vanessa, and I moved on to The Flatiron for drinks, solving the problems of the world on the patio, and picking up weird, 50-something lesbian Cher fans who want to take pictures of my kids at the zoo. Always an interesting evening in the village.

It felt like the beginning of a new summer era – I am looking forward to spending more time with Vanessa and her daughter during her summer off from teaching, and I am also looking forward to getting to know Allison better. (She is also off for the summer from her teaching job, and lives not five minutes away.)

Did I mention that it felt like a new era? Well, it did. And then i woke up today to a toddler with diarrhea. Looks like we’ll be cooped up a little while longer.

We Need to Raise the Bar

June 9th, 2006

You may or may not have noticed the lack of Dogwood Girl posts. For good reason: I was being a responsible parent. I have been thinking a lot about the kids’ education lately. I have also been doing a lot of research, and realizing that the information out in the ether is really confusing, hard to interpret, and varies massively depending on who is putting it out. After reviewing a number of websites with school achievement information, I did come across one site that seems to present information in a straightforward manner, without any obvious bias, and with the improvement of public education, regardless of political belief, at its core. (Incidentally, much of this site is supported by The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. Yes, that Bill Gates. Anyone see him on Oprah? It was an eye-opening show.) The site did not actually solve my problem of choosing a school for my children, but at least it gave me some clearcut ways to decipher school data, presented some of the reasons for school failure, and helped me figure out what questions I should be asking about my children’s’ school.

At first I was worried that my kids would be shortchanged by living in GA, because it was my impression that GA schools were “bottom of the barrel.” Well, it turns out they are just about average with the rest of the nation. Unfortunately, the nation’s schools seem to be at the bottom of the barrel. Think I’m joking? Listen to this:

  • According to the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, the United States, the richest country in the world, is ranked 24th in Math.
  • According to Gates: “Millions of kids are dropping out. Of minorities, half drop out. Overall it’s about a third.”

I am a little freaked out and a lot ticked off about education. Our nation’s public schools are failing our children. It really concerns me. I mean, if I am paying taxes, and that money goes into these crappy public schools, shouldn’t my children get decent schools for the money?
If we are paying taxes for schools, shouldn’t we be able to live and work within 20 minutes of our (Todd’s) job and still send our children to a decent school? Sure, we could move out to the ‘burbs, but:
a) Our quality of life would decrease in a huge way – No more breakfast and coffee as a family, no more meeting Daddy for lunches, and no more Daddy home by 5:30 to play with the kids before dinner. I would for all practical purposes be a single mom.
b) I don’t wanna.

It just shouldn’t be this hard. In the real marketplace, if you pay for a service and it is not delivered, you can fire that service. You can’t “fire” the public schools.

I have been looking at test scores and other indicators (comparing test scores, free/reduced lunches, class size, racial makeup, etc.) and my head is spinning. I have come up with a list of schools that we can afford to live near. And then I go and, just out of curiosity, I looked at the test scores for an area in which I KNEW I would never send my kids to school, and they weren’t that much lower!!! WTF??? It really appears that either the tests are too easy, or the reporting on test scores is fudged. Or are the test scores themselves fudged? Ack!

How is a concerned parent supposed to know how to make an informed decision about their child’s education?

The more I look at the issue, it seems that School Choice is the best solution. Shouldn’t I be able to take the funds allotted for my kids and send them where ever I can afford to get them the best education? And what could I afford? Would the funds allotted my child in public schools actually cover private school tuition? In GA public schools, each child has approximately $7,000 spent on them each year. Why on earth are these schools failing? That is ludicrous! If they are really failing, it sucks that I can’t take that amount and use it towards their education in any manner I wish, even if it means putting them in private school. (Of course, private school would come with its own set of problems – a sense of entitlement, possible lack of diversity, etc.)

Turns out many people are in direct opposition to school choice. Why can’t we push for more competition in schools, where schools have to vie for my attention based on their results? I mean, if competition works in a free marketplace, why can’t it work in education? It appears that the government is running a monopoly on education. I am now looking into why people are so resistant to the idea of creating competition in our school system, to the idea that competition and/or privatization of some kind might drastically improve the schools. It is hard to get a straight answer out of anyone, or find any reference to why the idea hasn’t caught on, but here are a few things I can gather:

  • Many people just don’t give a shit, and expect and trust the government to educate their kids well.
  • There seems to be a lot of top-heavy administration in education and streamlining our schools and making them more efficient and improving them would mean that people would lose jobs.
  • Some people truly believe it would undermine public education, and I think yes, it would throw public education inadequacies into such a glaring light that it would become obvious that the schools are failing and things would come to their logical conclusion: The schools would fail. Who would pick up the educational slack? Would the private sector really save the day in a timely manner?
  • The old separation of church and state argument – God forbid that someone choose to educate their child in a Catholic school. No, if they want to do that, they will still have to pay their taxes to the failing public schools and their beliefs can be paid for on their own dime.

I am very frustrated, but in the end, I am sure it will work out fine, and my kids will excel because I am informing myself about education, and because I value reading and education. But what about the poor kids whose parents don’t give a crap? And then all those uneducated kids grow up to be dumb voters and then we all get screwed.

I don’t think the outlook is good for the majority of kids in our country. It is very disheartening. I do wonder what would happen if all of these failing students were actually required to take responsibility for their education, were held to some standard of behavior and academic achievement. Part of me is an optimist and thinks that if we raised the bar, there would be students who would rise to the occasion. Part of me knows deep down that some of the kids have such dire circumstances and a lack of support at home that they will fail to receive an education no matter what we do to improve the schools. Do I know the solution? Don’t I wish. I wish that we could get to the root of the problem, which, in my opinion, is the parents. But how does one wipe out poverty, single parenthood, teenage pregnancy, and adult illiteracy?

What I do know? That lowering the educational bar is not going to help.

My Day

June 7th, 2006

7:50 a.m. Get up, throw on clothes.
7:55 am. Change Matilda’s diaper, go downstairs.
8:00 a.m. Breastfeed Matilda.
8:15 a.m. Pour coffee, eat breakfast bar and drink coffee while checking email.
8:45 a.m. Clean bathrooms and upstairs for house showing.
9:15 a.m. Mow yard.
10:30 a.m. Wash face, pack bag for outing. Feed Matilda again.
11:00 a.m. Go by post office, get todd to drop me off, immediately return to car because 500,000 people are in line and only two people are working the counter.
11:20 a.m. Go to La Casita for lunch.
12:00 noon Go home, get todd to watch kids in car while I go inside, pee, check messages, make sure house has already been shown, let dog out to pee, put dog back in crate, go back and get in car.
12:20 Drive to Candler Park and find parking space. Get out, put M. in stroller and instruct Rollie on hand-holding necessity in parking lot. Walk down to playground.
12:30 Realize playground is closed. Walk back up hill and then sit with Rollie and matilda to watch kickball game in progress.
12:35 Go back to car and put both kids in carseats and put stroller back in car.
1:00 Drive back to East Atlanta to go to Brownwood Park or Glenwood Park.
1:15 Realize both kids have fallen asleep in car. Decide to find a drive-thru Starbucks (only two known drive-thru locations in Atlanta located at Piedmont Rd. in Buckhead or Briarcliff and Lavista. Neither are close to my current location.)
1:17 Realize I have no cash on me.
1:18 Drive through ATM
1:30 Pull out of ATM and leave East Atlanta for Briarcliff Lavista Starbucks in hope of getting coffee, parking, and reading while kids sleep.
2:00 Finally arrive at Starbucks after being caught in massive Buddhist parade that shut down Moreland.
2:01 Order coffee just as matilda wakes up.
2:02 Pay for coffee and pull into parking lot, realizing i have to feed Matilda again.
2:02 1/2 Rollie wakes up and wants snack and a park.
2:03 Pull out of parking lot without feeding matilda, thinking i will drive to Piedmont Park, feed her before getting out of car, then walk to find a snack and a playground.
2:20 Get caught in massive Virginia Highlands Festival/normal beautiful Saturday Piedmont Park traffic. Decide to scrap Piedmont Park idea in favor of new Cabbagetown or Glenwood Park idea.
2:30 Realize Cabbagetown Park is inaccessible due to emergency situation requiring fire trucks, ambulances, and police cars to block the way.
2:40 Drive past Glenwood park, realizing children will burst into flames if I take them out where there is no shade at 3 pm. We of course don’t have hats or sunscreen with us.
2:45 Pull into parking lot in East Atlanta Village. Get matilda out and sit in passenger seat to feed her as Rollie screams about cookie/park deprivation.
3:00 Put Matilda in stroller, pack up diaper bag/purse, book etc. Go around to Rollie’s side and lift him out, again discussing how to hold hands in parking lots. Walk halfway across parking lot when Rollie says his pants are wet. Check his diaper. Pants completely soaked.
3:02 Mouth “FUUUUUUUUCK” silently, realizing pants are soaked and we have no other pants.
3:03 Turn around and go put Rollie back in carseat amidst more screams of “cookies” and “park.” Put Matilda back in carseat. Put bags bag in front seat. Fold stroller and put back in car.
3:05 Get back in car, make drive of shame back to house.
3:10 Get home. Fix snack. Let out dog. Put Matilda on floor with pile of toys.
3:20 Turn on Baby Einstein. Start blogging about this wonderful day.

The Possibilities are Endless

June 2nd, 2006

This week marked a pivotal point in my life with Todd. After very little debate, we decided that after having Matilda, our family would be complete, and we would get Todd “fixed.” Actually, the deal was, we would get Todd fixed, unless for some reason i had to have a c-section while having Matilda, in which case i would be taking one for the team. That did not come to pass, however, so on Wednesday morning, Todd took a bath, shaved his balls, and then we left the kids with Aunt Lisa and headed off to The Emory Clinic for Todd’s outpatient snip snip.

Todd was surprisingly calm. Actually, if you know Todd, you know that he is almost always calm, so it really wasn’t that surprising, but if anything was going to get him a little nervous, i thought for sure it would be his scrotum going under the knife while he was awake. (He may have also been helped out a little by the prescription for valium that the doctor pre-prescribed for him to take prior to the surgery.)

Todd filled out the paperwork, which was rather amusing:
Q: Reason for electing to have this procedure performed:
A: “Screaming children.”

Todd went through the double metal doors of his own volition, and i was off to find coffee and ruin my diet with a Krispy Kreme raspberry-filled doughnut. He went back at about 11 a.m. and was done around 1 p.m., giving me plenty of time to read about half of Heavy Words, Lightly Thrown: The Reason Behind the Rhyme and partake in some stellar people-watching. Hospitals are always good drama, what with all the dying and sickness and, in this wing, catheterizations, laproscopies, vasectomies, and colonoscopies. Everyone has a (completely imagined by me) story.

Todd came out on his own two feet, and the nurse congratulated me on having such a well-endowed husband. Okay, not really, but she did say that he had done great and to take care of him. We headed off to eat a lunch with no kids (Nirvana!) at Willie’s, and then grocery shopping and picking up his prescriptions at the Edgewood Kroger. I think I broke the world land speed record for grocery shopping; it is amazing how fast you are when there is not a toddler throwing the items back out of the buggy while you shop. After that, we headed home to prop Todd up in bed with a Darvocet, some antibiotics, and a bag of frozen peas on his balls.

From an emotional standpoint, i have to admit that in the week preceding the procedure, i had a slight feeling of sadness. This simple procedure would put an end to our child-bearing years, and for all my bitching, my child-bearing years have been the happiest and most rewarding of my life. Most of the time, I still feel like a 25-year old; Am I ready to be past my usefulness as a breeder? When I think of a woman who is done having children, i think of her as being 40-something and graying, harried by taking pre-teens to soccer practice and cheerleading. Okay, i have the graying down, but I still feel like a young family, and when it comes down to it, there is something exhilarating and primal about the knowledge that every time you do your husband you could create another life from the act.

However, after a couple days of reflection on this decision, i have felt a sense of comfort come over me. I know that we made the decision that is right for us. As Todd is fond of saying, “We have a complete set.” One boy, one girl, both perfect and healthy and loved. And hey, Todd can fuck around and not worry about child support payments, while if anything happens to Todd, I still have the plumbing in place to take the life insurance money, find me a 20-something boy toy in his sexual prime, and squeeze out a few more puppies. The possibilities are endless!

Okay, I’m just going to come out and ask.

June 1st, 2006

I am sure this will offend someone, or someone will read it and think I’m stereotyping African Americans by even asking, but I have been wondering this ever since moving to East Atlanta back in [we’re going to party like it’s] 1999. It never occurred to me before, because I had never before lived in a predominately African American neighborhood, and white people just don’t seem to exhibit this same behavior. At least, not white people in any neighborhood in which i have ever lived. I’m sure there are some exceptions, but it seems to be a race thing. (Or maybe it is a socioeconomic difference, or even, as local talk radio host Neal Boortz often points out, a “cultural” difference.) Whatever it is, I am truly baffled, and have been for years, but have never brought it up to anyone other than family, out of some semblance of political correctness. Here it is:

WHY DO AFRICAN AMERICANS IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD INSIST ON WALKING IN THE STREET, RATHER THAN ON THE PERFECTLY GOOD SIDEWALKS?

I am truly stumped. I can’t see where it would be for their safety. How could the street be more safe than the sidewalk? East Atlanta has an excellent sidewalk system, especially on the more well-travelend thoroughfares, such as Glenwood and Flat Shoals Roads. Can anyone else see any possible logical reason for this?

Things I Love about the South

May 31st, 2006

Rural roadside signs that say things like: “Rabbits for Sale. Pets or Meat.”

Memorial Day 2006

May 30th, 2006

We went back to the Lake for the weekend. My dad invited his first cousin and his cousin’s wife and their two kids down for a night.

It was pretty cool to see Rollie playing with his cousins, ages six and four (at left – Cash, Rollie, and Christian). My sister has no children, and neither do Todd’s brothers, so these are the first cousins Rollie has ever played with. Matilda and Rollie do have a cousin on their dad’s side (Jake, who is his second cousin), but he is much older than Rollie. They also have a third cousin Rollie’s age on my side, Max, but we have not spent a lot of time with them. I have very fond memories of playing with my cousins, Graham and Adam, as a child. I am glad Rollie is getting to experience that.

I went to the trouble to figure out how we are all related:

  • Billy and Daddy are first cousins (share grandparents, parents were siblings)
  • Billy and I are first cousins, once removed.
  • Billy and Rollie are first cousins, twice removed.
  • Billy’s kids and I are second cousins.
  • Rollie and Billy’s kids are Second cousins, once removed.
  • I am totally confused.

The downside to the weekend was that most of us adults came down with a virus. Lisa and Todd became sick Sunday afternoon. Todd and I decided to leave early for home (we had planned on coming back on Monday) and i managed to make it back to Atlanta, put Todd and the kids down to bed, and then got sick at about 10pm. I was up all night. Fun, fun. Just now feeling better today.

Here are some pics from the weekend!


Matilda wants to play with the big boys


Rollie and Christian on the boat

Captain Cecil

Proud Parent

May 26th, 2006

The other day, Rollie said, “Good song,” from the backseat when I was playing “(Drawing) Rings Around the World” by Super Furry Animals. About a week before that, I looked in the rearview to catch him nodding his head to Broken Social Scene’s “7/4 (Shoreline).” Today, on the way home from the Y, I was listening to The Editors and he said, “Make it Youder.” Great musical taste, not so great at the letter L.

I am so proud. This probably seems silly, but I credit some of my parents’ music with influencing my own tastes in music – Otis Redding, Elvis, the Everly Brothers, Gordon Lightfoot, Waylon Jennings, David Allan Coe, The Eagles, the Beatles, Peter Paul & Mary, Jerry Lee Lewis, just to name a few – These all remind me of my childhood, and they are things that I still love to hear today. (Okay, that is not completely true. I have not sought out the Everly Brothers. Ever. But I would love to hear Cathy’s Clown!)

I just hope that Rollie and Matilda have fond memories of the music I listen to during their childhood. And I hope that when they think of me listening to it, they smile as big a smile as I do thinking of my Mama driving us around in the red station wagon, singing along with “Peaceful Easy Feeling” playing on the 8-track.