There exists a sick thrill in firing up the vacuum cleaner amidst screaming children, frantic cats, and growling, snapping dogs, all scrambling for high ground.
Thrills
March 3rd, 2006Grand Wizardess
March 2nd, 2006Has anyone else noticed that the hooded baby towels make little ones remotely resemble hooded klansmen? You’d think they could come up with a little less pointy hooded part. Something a bit more rounded, with perhaps some ric-a-rac or lace around the seams. Having my little girl look like the Grand Wizard of the KKK is not exactly the look this progressive southern woman is going for when she dresses her daughter.
Yeah, I know. Not exactly groundbreaking thought here. Sue me.
Beach countdown: T minus 3 days and counting.
I May Have Blogged Too Soon
March 1st, 2006Looks like lunch didn’t stay around for as long as I had hoped.
[sigh]
Reflections on Sickness, or She’s Alive!
March 1st, 2006Bet those of you who know Lisa and me at all thought i was going to say, “cha,” but no, I am alive today. For those of you who were not religious Beavis and Butthead fans, my sister and I co-opted their taunting of poor Daria (“Diarrhea, Cha, Cha, Cha! Diarrhea, Cha, Cha, Cha!“) into our own term for diarrhea. As in, “Are you feeling better? Do you still have the cha chas?” I mean, really, doesn’t it sound much cuter to have cha chas coming out of your butt than to have diarrhea coming out of it? Believe me. Much cuter.
Other thoughts:
- If there was any doubt about how sick i have been, just take a look at my blog. I didn’t update it for three days straight. (The power of retroactive posts, baby!)
- I lost TEN POUNDS. I have been trying to lose ten pounds (and a lot more!) ever since having those infernal babies. Who knew all i needed to do was expose myself to a little Rotavirus and Voila! I’m a waif!
- I haven’t had coke of coffee for THREE MORNINGS IN A ROW. No people, I’m not kidding. Todd checked. I still have a pulse.
Next hurdle? Get Matilda home from Aunt Lisa’s (where she has been sent as our house is quarantined) and hope she doesn’t get sick before i leave for the MOTHERFUCKING BEACH, BABY on Sunday. Keep your fingers crossed.
T minus four days and counting.
Daily Diarrhea Update
March 1st, 2006Cha
Daily Diarrhea Update
February 27th, 2006Cha
Daily Diarrhea Update
February 26th, 2006Diarrhea
The Sisters Mortland
February 24th, 2006Just finished The Sisters Mortland. Ever read one of those books that has compelling characters, and pretty good imagery, and you can feel the sparks getting ready to fly, but then the book just goes nowhere? This is one of those books. I kept reading, hoping that the payoff would be there at the end. It wasn’t.
See This Face?
February 23rd, 2006
See this face? This sweet, happy, benign face? Don’t believe it. In approximately five hours, this face will be attached to a rear end spewing the most vile diarreah ever witnessed by a mother. That mouth? It will be vomiting all over me, my bed, my friend Camille’s carpet in the house that she just put on the market. Her dogs will be licking it up. It is 2 am. I will sleep no more than an hour this night. The next couple of days, we will break out the Lysol and the Hazmat suits. We will wash mountains of laundry, and we will hug and cradle and soothe at all hours of the day and night.
Germs are malicious, devious little fuckers. May they leave my boy quickly, and never touch my baby girl. Feel better soon, Rolls!
Just Out of Reach
February 21st, 2006
Rollie enjoys an exhibit at the High Museum, Atlanta, GA. (Photo courtesy of Uncle Mark.)