So, my parenting breed has been studied, classsified, and tagged. Seems that Todd and I are Grups. The linked article by Adam Sternbergh has been floating around on the internet for a few weeks now. (Okay, a month. Can we say “Slacker parenting?”) Todd first sent it to me weeks ago, and upon reading it, my first reaction was protestation. “Who does this guy think he is? He doesn’t know me.” After reading the whole article, I knew I must blog about it. I mean, how can i not comment on something that was so truly dead-on about parenting in the 21st century? Anyway, it took me a while to get around to writing this up, though, because damn! i am so busy being a hip Mom that I just haven’t gotten around to it until now. The article specifically discusses Grups in NYC, but Todd and I, and many of our friends with kids, are evidence that they exist in excess in most urban areas.
You can read all about it in the article, but here’s the Grup criteria, in a nutshell:
Owns eleven pairs of sneakers
I own seven.
Hasn’t worn anything but jeans in a year.
True, not counting maternity clothes and workout clothes, and then there are cute skirts. I think the point is that i sure as hell haven’t worn a suit, nor has my dear husband. Oh, except for Lisa’s wedding.
Won’t shut up about the latest Death Cab CD.
Okay, a little off on this one, as i think most self-respecting Grups can agree that it was not as good as their earlier efforts.
Walks around with an IPod listening to the latest from Bloc Party.
Check.
Buys clothes at Urban Outfitters.
Uh, would if I could fit into the fucking stuff. T’s been on a freakin’ old school Goodwill kick lately. Making me want to hit Potter’s House Thrift Store in Athens. If i could fit into the fucking stuff.
Takes Toddlers to mommy’s happy hour.
As far as I know, we can’t do this in Atlanta, especially because Atlanta is not much of a walking city, but sign me up if they start one up. Let’s be honest – Baby Bjorns and Hotslings were made for freeing up drinking hands.
Stays out till 4 am seeing New Pornographers.
To be truthful, we don’t see shows like we used to. . . guess I am not as Gruppy as I thought. We do try to switch off the big shows, so as to avoid babysitting issues. The Pixies reunion was a bit problematic.
Pays $250 for a pair of distressed jeans.
Totally off on this one, as Todd and I would never pay that much for a pair of jeans, but wouldn’t have at 25 years old, either. I mean, we don’t live in New York, for God’s sake. Do people pay that much for jeans anywhere else?
“We will not listen to the Wiggles in this house.”
Or his purple fucking dinosaur friend, either.
Wears sneakers as a fashion statement.
Rollie and I have matching navy Chuck Taylors. Check Tiller and me out.
Wears sneakers to the office.
What office? Oh, you mean the hip Inman Park loft office where Todd works? The one our friend Brian refers to as “the Cartoon Factory?”
Wears a Misfits shirt.
The Cramps.
Makes his two-year old wear a Misfits shirt.
Rollie doesn’t have a Misfits shirt, but he does have “Daddy Drinks Because I Cry” and both he and Matilda wear the same Standard Deluxe tees that Daddy wears.)
Messenger Bag?
Duh. Only losers use real diaper bags.
The article goes much more in-depth about the Grup clothing, career attitude, and musical taste, but you get the picture. The fact that I relate to the likes and dislikes of this bunch isn’t what this is about. Blogger Que Sera Sera’s take is that she finds it annoying that people are making their offspring into Mini-Mes. I disagree, leaning more towards the author’s arguments. Sternbergh points out that this phenomenon is somewhat about “stuff” – IPods, Macs, clothing, shoes, accessories, etc., but also thinks that on a deeper level, it is about being able to enjoy the good parts of adulthood (as he puts it: “a paycheck, family”) and none of the bad stuff (“Dockers, management seminars, indentured servitude at the local Gymboree.”) Amen, Brother!
Mostly, though, the author points out that the phenomenon is about passion:
“There’s that tricky word again: Passion. What’s with the Grups and passion? It’s all anyone wants to talk about. Passionate parents, passionate workers, passionate listeners to the new album by Wolf Parade . . . . And I start to realize: Under the skin of the iPods and the . . . ripped jeans, this is the spine of the Grup ethos: passion and the fear of losing it.”
And for me, that is what struck a chord when I read this article. I do fear the loss of passion. I want my children to see me excited about things, and about new things, not just the things that used to excite me before I had children. I’m not saying I want my children to like the same things, but that i want them to inherit the desire to seek out things that interest them, to stay true to their ethics and aesthetics, whatever those may be. I want my kids to know that while they are my world, they are not the only thing that I love in this world.
Wait a minute. I draw the line at Barney. There will be no Barney in this house. Period.
