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Honey’s Wedding

Tuesday, April 11th, 2006

I feel like I’ve spent ages away from home and hearth, but it was really just three nights. We drove (!) down to my friends Honey and Slade’s wedding in Delray Beach, Florida on Thursday night. Honey now goes by her middle name, “Brooke,” but for those of her who have known her for ages, she is still Honey, whether she likes it or not. Sorry, Honey! Myself, Honey, and two other friends, Laura and Dana, all lived together when we were in school at The University of Georgia. I can’t believe we’ve known each other for SIXTEEN years now. It feels like just yesterday that we met!

Todd and I took tons of pictures, and here are just a few:

Laura and me at the Delray Beach club for the rehearsal.

Slade’s Aunt hosted a fabulous rehearsal dinner at her beautiful home, despite a little hurricane damage.

Laura and me, poolside, during cocktails at the rehearsal dinner.

Dana and me

Laura, Dana, and me

Dana and her husband James

Todd and Me

James, Dana, and I show our appreciation for the excellent food.

The glowing bride at her rehearsal dinner.

The bride and groom look on as Slade’s family performs a skit in their honor.

Honey and Todd

Slade claims that Honey is the devilish one. I beg to differ.

Phew! Ceremony over. Where are the drinks?

Laura and Victor, the Czech Physicist

James and Dana at the wedding reception.

Todd and me, sans kids!

I steal a hug from the groom.

Todd and I cuddle on the beach.

Post-wedding at The Falcon House, Laura regales Victor with astounding tales.

The night becomes a little blurry after that. . . .

Congratulations, Honey and Slade! I love y’all!

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Imagine the Irony

Wednesday, April 5th, 2006

I drag myself to an eight o’clock pm step class at the YMCA. I feel great afterwards, all blissed out on cardio, and decide that i should go to the grocery store without the kids before going home. I know that i have to get some bulky items, like cat litter, tons of toilet paper, economy packs of diapers, and the 40 lb bag of dog food, and it is always a little trying to fit all of that into the cart with Rollie in there, and to lift the shit with Matilda in the Baby Bjorn on my chest. (Have you ever tried to lift anything that weighs forty pounds without clutching it to your chest, crushing your child? It requires using only your arms. Not easy.) I get out of the car at Publix, put Todd’s “mellowmix” on the IPod, and nod at the security guard in the cart vestibule. (I have no idea if that is what it is called, but i can’t think of another word to accurately describe that “not-quite-inside-the-store” room where they keep grocery carts.)

I proceed to get my list of about ten very large items, totally peaceful and relaxed, enjoying the music and my time sans children. I reach up to look at a dog toy, thinking that I would love to get Quint one, but i know that I will end up pulling it out of his butt when he shreds it. I turn to put it back on the shelf and inadvertently knock over a display of about 20 boxes of flea and tick preventative, bringing much staring and unwanted attention to myself, all to the soundtrack of John Lennon’s “Imagine.”

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KidChaos!!!!!!

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006

Today we went to playgroup at Tara’s house. (That’s Natalie and Tara in the pictures on the left.) Tara went to my high school, and my college, and now our kids play together. Actually, Natalie, Camille, and Steph’s husband, Doug, also went to my high school. Steph also went to college with all of us. Kind of funny. We even commented while eating lunch as Tara’s husband watched over the kids playing outside that if you had asked me in college, in a million years, i would never have imagined that her husband Dusty would be watching over my kid.
Dusty blew up the kid bouncy castle thingie, so the kids tried to kill each other in there (cage match, toddler-style), played in the sandbox (a.k.a. see who can take the most sand being flung in their eyes), and then rode (fought over) bikes in their cul-de-sac. Rollie has never ridden a bike or trike, so that was pretty exciting for him. Especially the kickass Harley Davidson big wheel-type thing that also plays (really hideous) music. Here are pics!

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The Problem with Barbie

Monday, April 3rd, 2006

My friend Steph’s daughter Annika just turned three and we gave her a Barbie for her birthday. A little background on the Barbie purchase.

Some of you may have been surprised that I bought a Barbie, what with the inherent problematic body image baggage involved in foisting this doll on a little girl. First of all, I would rather my child turn into a goody goody Barbie cheerleader any day over deciding to go the Bratz route; Have you seen those little hussy dolls? They might as well have named those dolls Slutz!

Secondly, I debated it while on the toy aisle with two screaming children in tow, and decided that three year olds don’t really HAVE a body image yet, and they just want to brush the doll’s hair and dress her up and make her have fun jobs. And when they do get around to having a body image, I know that Annika (and her sister, Dagny) will be kickass girls with a healthy body image and will just use Barbie to turn unrealistic standards of beauty on their ear by making Barbie a Nobel-prize-winning Physicist, punk rock drummer, or something fun like that. I speak from experience here. Just ask Malibu Barbie, who had the fireplace hearth breast reduction (scrape Barbie’s chest back and forth over bricks on hearth until desired breast flatness is achieved), and then shaved her head, wore Ken’s tuxedo, and decided to be the Dream House butler.

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Dogwood Girl Promotes Population Control

Thursday, March 30th, 2006

I was talking with a friend the other day, and he mentioned that he kept up with what I was doing by reading my blog. He also said that my posts were making him question whether or not he wanted children. I am not sure how serious he was about this, but I would hate to be responsible for a decision of this magnitude.

My God, does my life sound that bad? I hope not. Sure, i like to bitch about every little bit of spilt milk or vomit, but let me state for a fact that i adore my children, my husband, and my life. I have never been as happy as I am now in my 30s, all settled down. My life is better for having Todd, Rollie, and Matilda in it. Much, much better.

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And It Begins

Thursday, March 30th, 2006

Rollie says, “Mama watch. Get mark. Get set. GO!” and drives his trucks in a circle through the living room, into the hall, around the kitchen, through the dining room, and back into the living room. “Again,” he says.

I am busy doing other things and mutter “uh-huh,” without really looking at what he is doing. He will not be denied. He runs past me, pushing the truck, looking me fiercely in the eye, growling, “SEEEE ITTT!”

It appears we are in the “Look Ma, no hands!” portion of the parenting experience. I am thinking this one lasts about, oh, 25 more years or so. . . .

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Just Like Old Times

Wednesday, March 29th, 2006

After sixteen months without it, menstruation is everything I remembered it could be, and more.

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We are Superhero

Tuesday, March 28th, 2006

You may have noticed that I’ve been listening to The Go! Team lately. I don’t think it is the best album I have ever heard, but it is definitely fun. It sounds to me like a cross between “Hollaback Girl,” the theme from The Six Million Dollar Man, Cibo Matto, and the Battle of the Planets theme. When I am listening to it, we are superhero, we are G-Force: I am Princess. Rollie is Mark. Tiller is Keyop. Home is our control center, 7-Zark-7, and the Odyssey is our fiery Phoenix. Okay, if Todd wants to play, he can be Mark, and Rollie will be Jason. . . .

Rollie loves to hear the part that counts off “One, Two, Three. One, Two, Three, Four.” I look in the rear view window, and he is trying to count it on his fingers, which is funny, because he has only mastered holding up one finger so far. Which, when you think about it, is really all you need.

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My Time in the Big House

Monday, March 27th, 2006

I spent the weekend with my roommates from college. Dana’s family has a farm outside of Asheville, and we end up meeting there once or twice a year for a weekend. I drove up on Friday and arrived about 2 o’clock. Honey and Laura came from Charlotte, and Dana was coming from Winston-Salem; their drives were much shorter than mine, but i still beat them, even with my 4.5 hour drive.

On the way up, it snowed as i was coming through Asheville. That was nice. I arrived and read until the girls got there. (Dana’s step-father, Randy, and her mom, Leah, were already there, so they let me in.) The farm consists of two houses – the main, or “big” house, and a guesthouse/office, or the “little house.” We usually sleep and hang out in the little house, which has two bedrooms, a full bath, and a kitchen, in addition to the office area and a large main room, complete with pool table, computer, and television. Randy and Leah love to cook, so they often make meals for us, which we eat in the big house. Our constant companion while there is Burns, the family’s golden retriever.

On Saturday, we started drinking long before we ate dinner (a delectable smorgasbord of leftovers) and stayed up until about Midnight. I thought i was planning ahead when I decided to take it easy on Friday night, so as to not have a hangover for our spa day Saturday, and so as to be able to blow it out Saturday night. Alas, Honey and Laura did the opposite. I felt pretty good Saturday morning, although I woke up at 7 am out of habit, but that allowed me to have a cup of coffee sitting alone on the patio and overlooking the fields with Burns. We drove up to Blowing Rock for the spa, and had the pleasure of a spring snow day. It snowed the whole time we were there, while we ate our spa lunch, had our scrubs and massages, and as we had margaritas and mexican food in town. It was still snowing as we started back down to the farm.

Saturday, we ate so much at the mexican place, and Randy had planned a dinner replete with a special garlic mail-ordered from God Knows Where, that we had to actually fake hunger when we got back to the Farm, which was unfortunate, because the meal was excellent. Randy’s mother joined us for dinner. “Nana” is 93 years old and still a pistol. She and i chatted about being Georgia crackers. (That’s Nana in the picture with us girls. From the left: Laura, Dana, Nana, me, and Honey. Nana is from Statesboro, in Bulloch County, and she says “shrimp” exactly like my Grandma did.) Even after Nana left, Saturday evening was pretty laid back – we had drinks after dinner, sat in front of the fire, and talked for hours.

I just love these girls so much – it is fun to see them and my time with them is never long enough. Luckily, though, the whole weekend was for Honey, who is getting married in two weeks, so I will see them all again in Boca Raton!

Dogwood Girl