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Moo

October 5th, 2005

We were sitting at the dinner table a couple of nights ago. I am half a week past my estimated due date, mind you. Dinner is always a cheerful affair around here, with Rollie entertaining Todd and I with his latest word mispronunciation, gesture, or facial expression. We were taking turns prompting him to say words that we think are funny or cute (“pish” for “fish,” because he can’t say the F sound, for example.) We usually go through his repertoire of animal sounds, ending with the finale of the pig sound: Rollie does a frighteningly realistic pig snort – a real crowd pleaser.

We moved on to the subject of the upcoming addition to our family. We have been reading Rollie books about Mama expecting, about being a big brother, etc. We have discussed how helpful he is going to be with the new baby sister. We discuss the words, “baby,” “sister,” and even attempt the baby’s name at times. We point at my stomach and ask Rollie to pat the baby or kiss the baby. We ask him where the baby is and he will usually point somewhere in the general area of my stomach (or Todd’s stomach) or a stranger’s stomach, or worse, a stranger’s breast. But usually he gets it right, and points to my stomach.

So, I say,

“Rollie where is the baby?”

Rollie looks at me very seriously, points directly to my stomach, and says,

“Moooooo.”

Todd attempts to stifle his laughter, but only manages to snort like a pig, then bursts into full laughter.

Oh, the indignities one must suffer in the name of Motherhood. . . .

40 Weeks, 2 Days

October 4th, 2005

I had my 40-week appointment this morning. Pee and BP normal, weight down two pounds. They did an NST. Baby showed the right amount of hr acceleration, despite the fact that I didn’t feel her much during the test. No contractions on the readout (surprise, surprise.)

Amy, the midwife, checked me. Know how much I progressed? NONE. She said I was “exactly the same.” She asked what happened with my first pg (shouldn’t we ALL know this by now??? I went over 8 days and then was induced for low amniotic fluid.) She said that it was really common to go over again if I went that far over last time and had to be induced. That there are women who are just on the outside of the “gestation curve.”

Um, why don’t you people just fucking say that when I hit 37 weeks, tell me to not get my hopes up, and that i will probably go over, and then if I don’t I will be pleasantly surprised??? I appreciated her honesty, and her attempts to make me not feel like my body is totally defective.

Anyway, I go back on Thursday, and she said we would talk then about how things are going. If I had to hazard a guess, I would bet that as long as everything is okay on Thursday, they will let me go the weekend, and see me again on Monday (and probably induce) if I haven’t gone into labor yet. Interestingly, that would again put me 8 days out from my due date when I am induced.

[big huge sigh straight from the gut]

Off to change the answering machine message to “Fuck off and stop calling here.”

40 Weeks, 1 Day, One Crazy

October 3rd, 2005

That’s me. The Crazy.

Well, I had my internal on Thursday. She said, “Maybe we’d see each other at the hospital this weekend.” Right.

All day Friday and Saturday, I had more of the brown discharge. On Saturday after seeing Serenity, I had a little bit of stringy mucous. Saturday night, i had the most painful contractions i had had yet, but they only lasted a couple hours and then peetered out.

Yesterday morning, I woke up, had a cup of coffee and went to the bathroom to find what was undoubtedly my mucous plug – it was HUGE and had plenty of dark red to brown blood in it. Since then, I have had plenty of back ache, groin pain, Braxton Hicks, and some diarreah off and on, but no real contractions.

This morning, I had another large gob of bloody mucous. More brown discharge. Cramping, aches and pains, etc, but nothing LABORLIKE.

I am getting very impatient.

P.S. Just be thankful I am not posting a picture of the mucous plug. Todd had to look at it.

A Very Happy "Happy"

October 1st, 2005

Sunday was Todd’s birthday. I got up with Rollie and let Todd sleep in that day. While he was still in bed, I attempted to teach Rollie to say, “Happy Birthday, Dada.” It was a no-go. He would say, “happy” or “birthday”, or “dada,” but no way i could get him to say all three together.

We attempted it, though, when Todd got up, and so Todd was wished a very happy “Happy” by Rollie.

Since then, Rollie has been using the word “Happy” a lot. Not in any particular context, just walking around the house, saying “Happy” in different tones.

Wouldn’t it be great if we lived in Rollie’s world, the one where people just wander around and say, “happy” all the time for no reason other than the fact that they are just generally happy?

Form and Function: The Mad Scientist

September 30th, 2005


I was thinking this morning about how Rollie seems to see everything in terms of its form or its function. i guess that we as adults do this, but that we have fine-tuned our classifications, so that we can barely see or comprehend the generalizations that Rollie makes in his mind.

What made me think of this? Rollie handed me a hair clip, saying “hair” as he handed it to me for me to put in my hair. (No, I wasn’t going to wear it – he just decided upon seeing it that i needed to put it in my hair. For Rollie’s set, when you see something, and you recognize its purpose, you immediately put the said object to its purpose, whether or not there is a need for it at that moment or not.)

I started thinking about all the things that Rollie will hand me to put in my hair – Bobby pins, barettes, hairbrush, comb, or hairdryer. Even the diffuser. It amazes me the connections he will make and the little everyday things that he picks up from us, that we don’t even attempt to teach him. Occasionally, though, he will hand me something that appears to him to serve a “hair” function, but which in reality only looks like something else that serves a hair function, but actually is used for another purpose. Like brushing your teeth. Yep, sometimes Rollie will do an uh-oh, and hand me a toothbrush and want me to brush my hair with it. Very funny.

Rollie sees balls in everything, too. Sure, a ball is a ball, by any other name. A globe is a ball, but if you see a globe, you don’t say, “Ball.” You say, “Globe.” Rollie says ball.

This made me think about how he sees things in term of their shape, or color, or function. He is constantly making classifications of different objects, where we adults just accept each object for what we know it to be. Not what else it might be.

It is like having my own little mad scientist.

39 Weeks, 4 Days

September 29th, 2005


I had my weekly appointment this morning. I have been having some stronger BH, lots of pelvic/rectal (TMI?) pressure, the occasional shooting pelvic pain, and some stronger, almost painful contractions, so I decided to let them check me. (They ask you if you want to anytime after 37 wks and i normally refuse, but this time i felt like maybe something was actually happening.

So, i am “really soft, dilated about a 1.5 to 2, but a 3 on the outside of the cervix. This one was new to me – I asked her how the heck i could be a 3 on the outside, but a 1-2 on the inside. She explained it as the inner part of the cervix’s cone shape being a 1-2, but the outside being at a 3. Whatever. Sounds like false hope to me!

She really dug around in there (owie) to “stir the pot” but did not strip the membranes. There was plenty of blood and mucous when she pulled out the glove and she told me to “expect some more” – which i would anyway having had my cervix mauled today.

She asked about my last pg (did i go overdue – yes, and was induced 8 days later for low amniotic fluid) and she said, ‘well, hopefully we will avoid that this time.” I told her i was definitely feeling more action down there than I did with my first pg (where i felt NOTHING). She said that, and the softness of my cervix were really good signs, so maybe I’d be having the baby this weekend. I told her I’d get my hopes up when I saw the head coming out of my vagina. She said “you’re definitely getting ready for it down there.” Way more promising than i would have hoped. But i am still not getting my hopes up.

Finally, i read my chart on the way to the checkout desk, and i have trouble reading their writing, but i believe that it said that i was 1-2cm dilated, 50% effaced. Everything else seemed normal – bp, urine, weight gain, etc. No swelling.

I sure am having a lot of cramping now, but i am sure that is from the cervical check.

Anyway, if nothing happens this weekend, i will be back in there on Tuesday at 40 wks, 2 days. Ugh.

39 weeks. . . .

September 26th, 2005

and nothing is happening. I did have a little bit of menstrual-feeling crampiness in my lower back and stomach last night. I think that may have been caused my walking at the mall yesterday afternoon. (That’s what i get for going to the mall – i really don’t like the mall.) Anyway, it seems to have passed and I am not having much going on today. I did have a few bh contrax this a.m. but nothing painful or patterned.

I am so going to go over and have to be induced again. I know it!

Yep, I Actually Said This. . . .

September 25th, 2005

We do not draw on our tongue.

Sweetie, I Love You, But. . . .

September 24th, 2005

Why is it that you think you are above unloading the dishwasher? If you are watching the Boy while I go out for dinner with a friend, and you are in charge of the dinner and dishes implied therein, Why, oh, why??? is it that you will ignore the full, clean dishwasher full of dishes ready to be put away? Why would you bypass the unloading of the dishwasher step in favor of hand-washing the dirty dishes in the sink, then leaving them out to dry on a towel on the countertop?

How do you think it makes me feel to have a sink full of dirty dishes from breakfast (in addition to the knife and plate from your nightly peanut butter cracker snack – busted again!), plus mine and Rollie’s lunch dishes, along with a full dishwasher to unload, and the dishes on the countertop to put away? I might as well stay home and save myself some work.

Why, why, why??

Quadremesters

September 23rd, 2005

I had dinner with an old friend last night. (I will get to how long I have known him as part of my story further on.) We had cuban, he had beers, and i had two cokes and then had to pee the rest of the night.

He is a year older than i am (34, i guess?) and is still single and i thoroughly enjoy hearing about his bachelor lifestyle. He asks if I can keep a secret, and confides in me that he is dating a 25 year old. My reply: “Well, you are pretty immature, so that seems like a good age difference.” She called during the course of dinner and he asked if I would like to go with him after our dinner to meet the new girl and a friend of hers. I agreed.

We went to some trendy, overpriced bar in Buckhead, and I ordered a glass of wine (sweet, sweet nectar of the Gods!!!) and chatted until they arrived. I also enjoyed the experience of the nine-months pregnant woman sitting at the bar. Always entertaining. . . .

The girls arrived a few minutes later, and as they approach, the friend of the girlfriend exclaims, “Oh, you ARE pregnant! Good, you can answer something for us!”

“Okay,” I say.

“How many trimesters are there in a pregnancy?”

No, I am not kidding. I keep a straight face, and say, “There are three trimesters in a pregnancy.”

“I knew it!!,” she says triumphantly to the girlfriend.

The girlfriend ponders this for a moment and then a look of realization dawns on her face. She turns to me and says:

“So, it’s kind of like ‘quarters.’

Um, yeah. Kinda.

“So, how long have y’all known each other?” she says?

I turn to him: “Well, Ev, when did you move to the old neighborhood?”

“I was like, 12, so . . . 1982?” he replies.

“Oh, My God!!! I was born in 1980!”