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Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

The Bear Went Over the Mountain

Wednesday, February 9th, 2011

Rollie was in his first grade musical last week. Okay, I don’t like to brag, but he was the lead in the first grade musical.

I know what you’re thinking. . . where did that come from? He didn’t get that from his mama, that’s for sure. And you’re right. His teacher told me she wanted to challenge him. He had to memorize a lot of lines for the thing. I think it had little to do with stage presence, dreams of being a star, or singing ability. I think it just probably had to do with height and ability to read well.

In truth, when i found out he was the lead, my first reaction was, “oh, GAWD.” I hate musicals, drama, etc. I mean, I’ll go see Shakespeare, but I have never been a theatrical person, had any desire or aspirations to act or dance or sing. I have a terrible voice. I am not creative. I think musicals, for the most part, are stupid. Sorry, Glee fans.

I had people come up to me and say, “Hey, Rollie is THE BEAR! Congratulations! and then look at me, as if ready to gauge my reaction. (At first, my reaction was, “So?” Because I hadn’t read that sheet that comes home with instructions on how to dress your child for the play, and with the lines and parts. So I didn’t really know that the bear was, like, a big deal.)

I have to admit, when my kid is chosen for a role like this, sometimes I sense a bit of jealousy. It sounds crazy, and maybe it is my imagination, but in a way, a role like this is LOST on someone like me. It is ironic, then, that my son is chosen for the lead on something like this. I could care less. But there are moms out there who would LOVE to do this thing, who would make a beautiful costume for their kid, and go through trial runs of makeup, and sew, for fuck’s sake. I am not that mom.

All that being said, when his teacher framed it as “challenging him” i was glad that she did it. he had to work hard to memorize his lines, and I had to get out of my comfort zone just to watch him in the performance, so i guess it was challenging all around. And working up to the day of the play, i became increasingly nervous for him. He is so smart and charming, when he wants to be. And when he doesn’t. . . well, he is going to be the person he wants to be. To the point where I could have seen him saying, five minutes before the play, “I don’t feel like being the bear.” Or, “I’m not wearing the ears.” Or just having a meltdown and kicking things and crying. I was a nervous wreck, and mostly just trying to be upbeat and excited, to mirror excitement for him.

And it seemed to work. Todd and I were in the crowd, with his parents, my parents, my sister, Dash, and Tiller. The lights went down and the whole thing went off without a hitch. (Well, there was some kind of whispered squabble for a second, between him and the owl, but it passed quickly and nearly imperceptibly.) All of the animals made it up and back down the mountain in one piece. Dash clapped with glee throughout the whole thing. The cast sang in sweet unison, and hugged and held hands, and I marveled at the sight of these kids I know in real life becoming their animal and embracing their parts, even if they just had one line, and making them their own.

And after, when the bear and the other animals were taking their bow, i was proud. And I thought, huh, maybe I DO like musicals.

Rollie, just hours before showtime.

Rollie, just hours before showtime.

Behind the Music: The Making of Da Bear

Behind the Music: The Making of Da Bear

John, Greta and . . One of the twins. (Dang it.)

John, Greta and . . One of the twins. (Dang it.)

Principal with Beautiful Scenery

Principal with Beautiful Scenery

Rollie as Da Bear. I was so nervous and proud to watch him up on that stage.

Rollie as Da Bear. I was so nervous and proud to watch him up on that stage.

The Bunny Twin (Leah? Syd?)

The Bunny Twin (Leah? Syd?)

The Quail Twin?

The Quail Twin?

The cast of the first grade play: The Bear Went Over the Mountain.

The cast of the first grade play: The Bear Went Over the Mountain.

Rollie with castmates Skye and Katie

Rollie with castmates Skye and Katie

A closeup of Mama's little bear.

A closeup of Mama's little bear.

Rollie and Grace had two of the biggest parts in the play (she was the owl). they had to sing together and hold hands, and they did a great job. Only one little sec where I thought Rollie might get mad and push her or something. Have you seen Black Swan? I guess these performances can be real pressure cookers. Other than that, they did GREAT!

Rollie and Grace had two of the biggest parts in the play (she was the owl). they had to sing together and hold hands, and they did a great job. Only one little sec where I thought Rollie might get mad and push her or something. Have you seen Black Swan? I guess these performances can be real pressure cookers. Other than that, they did GREAT!

Syd and Leah: I believe they are a Quail and a Bunny.

Syd and Leah: I believe they are a Quail and a Bunny.

Rollie, with fans Dash and Tiller, Post-Performance

Rollie, with fans Dash and Tiller, Post-Performance

One other thing I forgot to mention, which falls under the “family lore” category. Growing up, when my sister and i were young teens, and allowed to watch things like PG 13 movies, we often watched movies as a family. For some reason, my father, completely uncomfortable with the blossoming womanhood of his two daughters, would sing, “The Bear Went Over the Mountain” at the top of his voice during sex scenes in movies. To this day, i cannot separate the song “The bear went over the mountain” from thoughts of my father making last ditch attempts at shielding his innocent daughters from the likes of Tom Cruise getting it on with Kelley McGillis in Top Gun. It cracks me up to this day.

Stone Mountain Sunday

Monday, January 31st, 2011

It was, like, 67 degrees in Atlanta yesterday. Beautiful weather, and reminds me why I love the South. Shorts in January! I have been working and volunteering a LOT. Like, so much that i am burned out, my psoriasis is spreading due to the stress, and i have finally started saying, “I can’t do that.” This is not a bad thing. I was thinking about it last night, and in addition to being a full time mom, i also work part time as an editor (from home and on my own hours, but still, it is a job.) And then there is the volunteering:

I write the PTA newsletter.
I am on the Communications committee for the Evansdale Education Foundation. (You should donate to them all of your money.)
I am a member of a group dealing with the proposed Dekalb County School redistricting and reconsolidation (that’s Dekalb’s fancy, non-threatening attempt at saying “school closing”) initiative, called Evansdale Elementary United.
I’m Board Secretary for my daughter’s dayschool.
I volunteer occasionally for other things, like to help in my son’s classroom.

This is entirely too much. I see that when I look at it written out like that. The sad part is that I am not alone. If your kid is going to a great school, it probably has as much to do with the teachers, staff, and funding as it does with the amount of work that a very small portion of the parents do in their free time.

So, i am learning to say no. When a meeting came up yesterday at the same time that I was supposed to go to Stone Mountain with my family, I said NO to the meeting. Big step, considering what a control freak I am. it was totally worth it, too. We had a great time.

And if you’ve never been to Stone Mountain, you are missing out. Sure, the carving is cheesy at best, offensive at worst, and definitely it is sad that someone carved into such a magnificent and unique natural Georgia feature. But the park itself has tons to do and is wonderfully family-friendly year round.

Tiller took this one of me, Todd, and Rollie. I don't know that we have a picture of just the three of us since he was about two years old!

Tiller took this one of me, Todd, and Rollie. I don't know that we have a picture of just the three of us since he was about two years old!

Rollie took this one. It is kind of nice that the kids are getting old enough where they can do stuff like that. I can't believe I didn't get a shot of just myself and Todd. Next time!

Rollie took this one. It is kind of nice that the kids are getting old enough where they can do stuff like that. I can't believe I didn't get a shot of just myself and Todd. Next time!

I wish I had a dollar for every photo of us with a surly Rollie. We would be very rich.

I wish I had a dollar for every photo of us with a surly Rollie. We would be very rich.

The kids like to go in this weird stone formation. It is right at the steepest part of the trail.

The kids like to go in this weird stone formation. It is right at the steepest part of the trail.

I am not comfortable in small spaces, so I sit out and look at the view. In the distance, you can see the trail going down the mountain, the parking lot at the trail head, and even farther, Downtown Atlanta.

I am not comfortable in small spaces, so I sit out and look at the view. In the distance, you can see the trail going down the mountain, the parking lot at the trail head, and even farther, Downtown Atlanta.

2 Of My Favorite People

Thursday, January 27th, 2011

Right before going out the door.
Tiller and her Daddy

Happy New Year!

Sunday, January 2nd, 2011

We stayed home last night, and friends came over. Ned and Vanessa also didn’t have a sitter, so we decided to do a slumber party again this year. Surprisingly, our friends Matt and Shannon, and Carlie and Brandon, both childless, came also. I guess we are all getting old and they didn’t want to do the whole bar/party scene. (I did sneak out for an hour to my neighbor’s party, and would liked to have been in two places at once. Looked fun.)

Ned and Vanessa brought their lab, Summer, and Matt and Shannon brought their dogs, Omar and Bodhi. There were dogs everywhere, and Simon (the black cat) is still livid even after they have all been gone for hours. If I die by an anvil falling on my head, Simon is most certainly responsible.

Lisa and Dashie came, too. They just stayed for dinner.

Lisa and Dashie came, too. They just stayed for dinner.

Rollie, Scarlett, and Tiller watched movies.

Rollie, Scarlett, and Tiller watched movies.

Then, the kids started going crazy, wanting sparklers.

Then, the kids started going crazy, wanting sparklers.

And more crazy.

And more crazy.

Yes, those PJs are flammable. @NervousNellieMother

Yes, those PJs are flammable. @NervousNellieMother

I love those damn goofy kids.

I love those damn goofy kids.

So cute together.

So cute together.

Kids waiting not so patiently for Ned to fire up the big fireworks.

Kids waiting not so patiently for Ned to fire up the big fireworks.

Scarlett used her time to strike some poses. Nessie claims that she didn't teach her this, but come on. We've all seen Nessa get self-whiplash to get into the proper pose before the camera clicks.

Scarlett used her time to strike some poses. Nessie claims that she didn't teach her this, but come on. We've all seen Nessa get self-whiplash to get into the proper pose before the camera clicks.

The kids ran like crazy in the front yard inbetween the big fireworks. Carlie and I cowered in fear behind some bushes.

The kids ran like crazy in the front yard inbetween the big fireworks. Carlie and I cowered in fear behind some bushes.

Ned and Carlie relaxing after setting things on fire.

Ned and Carlie relaxing after setting things on fire.

This is Matt. He is probably saying snarky, back-handed things about UGA.

This is Matt. He is probably saying snarky, back-handed things about UGA.

Before midnight, we did some hanging by the fire with the dogs.

Before midnight, we did some hanging by the fire with the dogs.

All the couples kissed at midnight. We are all cute. Then we all kissed each others husbands and wives. Yeah, that's how it is.

All the couples kissed at midnight. We are all cute. Then we all kissed each others husbands and wives. Yeah, that's how it is.

I totally threw Brandon under the bus on this one, but Carlie looked so cute, I had to include this one.

I totally threw Brandon under the bus on this one, but Carlie looked so cute, I had to include this one.

And Ned and Nessie. Isn't her new hair color cute?

And Ned and Nessie. Isn't her new hair color cute?

And me and Mr. Dogwood. Not a great picture, but the only one of the two of us.

And me and Mr. Dogwood. Not a great picture, but the only one of the two of us.

Love these girls!

Love these girls!

Matt ruined the picture watching tv. We've all been spending NYE together since Y2K! Except we used to go to the beach and we didn't have kids. We did have puzzles and other recreational activities. And a lot of alcohol.

Matt ruined the picture watching tv. We've all been spending NYE together since Y2K! Except we used to go to the beach and we didn't have kids. We did have puzzles and other recreational activities. And a lot of alcohol.

Shannon and Nessie and I solved all the problems of the world after midnight. Unfortunately, I cannot remember what we decided now.

Shannon and Nessie and I solved all the problems of the world after midnight. Unfortunately, I cannot remember what we decided now.

Matt was dressed like a WWII airplane mechanic. Lisa and I called him Hawkeye.

Matt was dressed like a WWII airplane mechanic. Lisa and I called him Hawkeye.

And Ned, back in black, tending the fire.

And Ned, back in black, tending the fire.

So, overall, a very low-key night. The kids never made it to midnight, but I think they could next year. They were still up at 7 this morning. It was fun to get up in the chaos of coffee-making, casserole-baking, cereal-pouring, and dog petting. What a madhouse. We ate breakfast and chatted and lounged with dogs, then everyone left.

I put on the greens and the black eyed peas. Lounged on the couch with Tiller and watched about ten episodes of Tom and Jerry. (Thank you, Boomerang!) Watched some football with Todd and Rollie. Ate two helpings of the peas and greens. Tiller had the worst hangover – she fell asleep on the couch and slept for almost two hours. I fell asleep on the floor with my dog. Can’t remember the last time I fell asleep on the floor in the middle of the afternoon. It was nice, but that weird waking-up-in-the-dark thing always makes me feel strange.

Kids are in bed now, and I watched Saving Private Ryan (sucks me in every time), while eating a Bowl of Shame for the ages. I think Bridget Jones said it best:

I do think New Year’s resolutions can’t technically be expected to begin on New Year’s Day, don’t you? Since, because it’s an extension of New Year’s Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year’s Day isn’t a good idea as you can’t eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second. ~Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones’s Diary

So, my resolution, to hit the Weight Watcher’s again, will start Tuesday morning. The kids go back to school that day, and no sane person would spend over two weeks with their offspring, 24 hours a day, and then try to quit drinking before the reinforcements come. That would be crazy.

So, I bid you all a Happy New Year! I am too tired to go on. Sweet dreams from Dogwood Girl.

How Do You Achieve a Peaceful Holiday Season with Kids?

Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010

Am I the only one that thinks much of the Christmas season sucks ass now that I have kids? Sure, as long as I am stuffing them full of sugar and butter products, and when they are opening gifts, they are having a blast. The rest of the time? They are just whining about things they want, want, want.

Am I doing something wrong? We’ve given to multiple charities, donated toys to needy children, and our kids know about it and why we are doing it.

We don’t go crazy with gifts, and in fact, my kids get way less than most children I know.

I spend time with them, wrapping gifts, singing Christmas carols in the car (a once a year thing, really, as I force them to listen to decent music in the car all other times of the year – it is for their own good in the long run), making cookies, filling the birdfeeders together (birdies need yummy Christmas food too!), etc.

So what am I doing wrong? Is it just normal to feel like a failure as a parent this time of year? It never felt this stressful before kids. Am I asking too much of them, at 7 and 5 years of age, to understand how very and truly lucky they are to be born in this time, in this country, to well-educated and loving parents? (I know that it is not something they can really comprehend. It was, like, rhetorical and stuff.)

If you are able to have a peaceful season with your kids, please share with the class. Because i am feeling like a complete failure.

Getting in the Spirit

Friday, December 10th, 2010

My best buddy, the Q Man, getting in the Christmas spirit. . .

My Elf

Also featured: City Sidewalks singing dog, and Willy the Elf.

A Good Day

Sunday, December 5th, 2010

I thought I was having kind of a crazy day. I started my period yesterday, and I had to do a newsletter for a non-profit, and we still had a bare Christmas tree just sitting around undecorated. We got it on Friday and didn’t even have time to decorate it until late this afternoon, and the kids were just driving me batshit crazy about all the Christmas stuff in piles that wasn’t put up yet.

But then my wonderful husband went to the store for tampons for me when I really didn’t feel like it. He took the kids with him. Then he came home, cooked me dinner, and made brownies for dessert. He is mine, girls. Mine, all mine! Taken!

Then, as I was eating a Brownie bowl of shame, a friend sent me a v. nice message about enjoying my blog (consider this your shout out!) and now I kind of feel pretty happy.

Not a bad day. Lots to be thankful for – I can’t complain. Nothing like good friends, a hot brownie, and a full box of tampons to turn your day around.

The Gift of Dreaming

Wednesday, December 1st, 2010

Do you remember your dreams? Do you think they are a message you are supposed to receive and think on? Or are they just your brain’s way of working things out for you while your body rests?

Mine are very vivid, in color, and the ones closest to waking up are sometimes so real that when I do wake up, i confuse the dream with reality. I often talk as I am waking up, as I did the other morning when I said, “There are no more colors” to Todd and Tiller. I wish I could remember what that means, but that one is lost to the ether.

Todd and I talk about dreams often, because he rarely remembers his. When he does remember them, though, they are doozies. (Perhaps he will comment with the story of his ghost dream. I cannot possibly do it justice, it is so funny. When I match that dream story with the sounds he was making while having the dream, I am overcome with giggles.)

I had a wonderful dream last night. Scary and vivid and special, and tied to things going on in my life. We have been watching The Walking Dead on AMC. (I you aren’t watching it, you are dumb. It is awesome, and also, set in Atlanta, which makes it even more fun!) So, the beginning of my dream involved living with a group of survivors or refugees, somewhere out in the wilderness, not unlike the survivor group on The Walking Dead. (Or like the one that I started writing a short story about after having a similar dream while in NC and having seen a Walking Dead episode the night before, then dreaming about that!) Except that, last night, we were not Zombie Apocalypse survivors.

We were survivors of some sort of alien attack. This was no doubt prompted by the announcement yesterday that NASA will have a 2:00 PM Thursday press conference to discuss an astrobiological finding that impacts the search for extraterrestrial life in our universe. The buzz about this press conference was all over Twitter yesterday, and in true nerd fashion, I couldn’t stop thinking about it all day. Not surprisingly, it showed up in my dream.

So, in my dream, there is little explanation for how my group ended up with one, but I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO FLY ONE OF THESE GUYS:

I flew this in my dream. Be jealous. Be very jealous.

I flew this in my dream. Be jealous. Be very jealous.

Have you ever had a flying dream? I don’t have them very often, but they are the absolute best dreams out there. It is the most exhilarating feeling in the world to soar over things in dreams. (Ironic, considering I am phobic about both heights and flying.) Except of course, flying dreams pale in comparison to one other kind of dream: the dreams where you get to hang out with deceased loved ones.

At some point during my dream, it was announced that good aliens were coming to earth, or maybe we had befriended the original attacking forces. I don’t know which, in that weird way that dreams are logical at the time, but never make sense when you try to describe them to others. But i was in downtown Atlanta and there were tons of people there, hanging out in the shadow of the Equitable building, waiting for the Alien Welcome Parade to begin. (Shadows of DragonCon, i suppose?) There were people I went to high school with, parents of people I went to high school with, some of Todd’s friends from Auburn, and pretty much any other random person that I can think of ever having met in my life. That guy that served me and Todd poolside rum drinks in Belize and told us about the Temptation Island folks? I think he was in my dream, too.

So, in my dream, i am rushing to find a good spot, and someone links arms with me as I am walking, and I look down and immediately recognize the green and white outfit my Grandma Smith wore. Apple green polyester background, with white polka dots. It was one piece, I think. Head-to-toe green and white polka dots. And grandma was beside me, walking damn well (she was a little wobbly there in the last few years, but not in my dream) and she was just SO EXCITED TO BE MEETING ALIENS! My grandmother was thin, wobbly, gray, and psoriatic. But her smile? Grandma had a million dollar smile, and one of the funniest, most contagious laughs I have ever heard.

197_grandmasmith

And me? I went to bed last night worrying about all of the things I had to do today. And I woke up this morning having received a precious gift. I got to link arms with my grandma, celebrate something happy, see her smile, and hear her laughter. And today, I feel as if I have been visited by someone special, and I know there are things in this universe that we will never explain, or understand, but for which we must have respect.

Of Star Talkers and Cavemen

Monday, November 8th, 2010

Tiller Bundled Up On Swing
Tiller and I went to the lake on Friday, while Todd stayed home with Rollie for Sat. soccer. We got there late, so we went to Bojo’s for a late dinner. On the way home, driving back across the lake’s twin bridges, I heard her whispering,

“You stars are so small. You must be very, very far away.”

I love the little things that I hear her say when we remove big brother from the situation. He is so . . .older child (i can say that; I am one.) He talks over her, directs her, tells her what to do. She listens, apes, mimics, follows directions, does as she is told. Only when she is on her own, does her true and very own thought process become evident.

I am always amazed at her and the things she says and comes up with when I get a chance to listen to just her. Tiller sees the world in a very funny and colorful way. The filter that Tiller sees the world through is like no one else’s. It gives her a unique view on things. Take this exchange from Saturday morning . . . .

Tiller and I decided to hit up Waffle House, so that we didn’t have to do dishes and could get out and do our yardwork faster when we got back to the lakehouse. We walked into the Waffle House. It was full for a winter day at the lake. Full of hunters. In fact, the only people not dressed in camo or a Waffle House uniform were Tiller and I. I noticed that she pulled up for a second when we came in the door. I saw her take in the scene as we were walking to our table. When we got there, we took off our coats. I helped her with hers first, and then started to take mine off. As I did, arms trapped in my coatsleeves, I was alarmed as Tiller raised her finger to point at the two hunters closest to us, a man and woman.

As all parents know, it is never good when their kid raises a finger to point at a stranger in a restaurant. Not only is it, in the immortal words of Southern mamas everywhere, “not nice to point, dear,” but you never know what is going to come out of a kid’s mouth when they point something out. The only thing you can bank on is that there will be a lull in conversation and that it’s going to be said loud as hell.

It is usually something completely embarrassing, such as these gems i have experienced firsthand:

“Why doesn’t he have a leg?”
“Why are her eyes like that?”
“That person is really, really big, Mama.”
“That is the oldest person I have ever seen!”

Saturday morning, as I struggled to get my arms out of my coat, and at the same time hiss at Tiller, quietly enough where no one else in the room would hear, but firmly enough that she would know I meant business, “It’s not polite to point, baby,” she dropped her finger, and then gave me the dismayed look that she is famous for. She accompanies this look with two hands out to the side like the Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil statue. Her hands bounce up and down slightly as she says at full volume,

“What are those people? Cavemen??”

That’s my Tiller for ya. That’s my Tills.

Arthur Dunstan at Auburn: A Followup

Thursday, November 4th, 2010

Well, since discussing it with my brother-in-law, Lyle, I looked into the Dunstan Hall and Arthur’s time at Auburn a bit more. . .

Here is an Auburn Engineering magazine article with a mention and photo of Professor Dunstan:

Professor Dunstan and his class

Professor Dunstan and his class

and another:

I believe this is him in the doorway, back row, with the cute mustache, too.

And here:

So, there you go. . .