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A Mind of Their Own

September 23rd, 2011

“MOOOOOOM!!!!!” I heard from the basement. Rollie was clomping up the stairs, with his pants down around his ankles.

Me: “Uh, yes?”

R: “Mom, I need to change my underwear and pants!”

Me: “Oh, no. What happened?”

R: “Well, I was trying to aim for the toilet, but when I peed, it went straight down in my pants and underwear and everywhere!”

Me: “Okay, well, those things happen. Just put those in the dirty clothes and go change. It’s okay.”

Tiller, chiming in: “Did Rollie pee in his pants?!”

Rollie: “I didn’t do it! My penis did it on its own!”

Me: “Well, they do sometimes have a mind of their own.”

Parents For DeKalb County Schools

August 29th, 2011

Well, add this to the litany of reasons that I haven’t been keeping up on the blog. Sad, because i wrote daily for years on here, but real life is getting in the way. One of the projects I’ve been working on is Parents for Dekalb County Schools. A very concerned parent created the group to try and improve the schools in my county. He is doing some awesome work, and trying very hard to reach out to parents in all parts of the county. This video is part of that outreach. We are really trying to find more parents like Bernadette out there to join us in making DeKalb schools great!

If you are reading this, and know a parent in DeKalb, please consider sharing this with them. Kids in DeKalb need all the help they can get. And if you do share it, maybe I’ll think about writing one of my ultra-embarrassing, self-deprecating blog posts. It’s been a while since I’ve done that to myself. I might even include middle school pictures.



The Only Thing You Can Count On

August 10th, 2011

So, the first thing you should know is that the Tooth Fairy is susceptible to strep throat, just like the rest of us. In fact, R’s Tooth Fairy seems to have come down with it at the same precise time that I did. Rollie lost another tooth on Monday night (after he went to bed, of course, prompting me to get up off the couch and deal with blood and teeth and find the damn tooth pillow while swallowing felt like eating glass). I warned him that there was a chance she wouldn’t know that night that he had lost a tooth, since it was so late, and that she might not show. Well, she didn’t show last night either.

Rollie’s Tooth Fairy sucks. Hopefully, she will get her shit together and make an appearance this evening.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s discuss this whole back-to-school thing. Yes, my county in GA went back to school. On August 8th. Yes, that August 8th, the one that is a full month before I used to go to school back in the olden days.

R. started second grade. I am the parent of a second grader. When I say it, it sounds like I am talking about some person I don’t even know. Who let me be responsible for a 2nd grader? Shoot, I still can’t believe they let me and Todd walk out of Northside with, not one, but TWO of these creatures. We just got in the car and drove off with them! No certificate or license or anything!

And the Tills. . . the sweet baby girl, Tiller. Tills started Kindergarten on Monday.

The first day was rough. When I left her classroom the teacher was trying to get a handle on the new students and calling for a translator. Tiller was sitting at her desk alone, in tears. (I may have shed a tear or two myself.) Our school gained a ton of new students through redistricting, many whose parents don’t speak English. We gained so many students that they hadn’t even hired a new teacher for the new Kindergarten class Tiller is in, so she has a sub this week. (Rumor has it the new teacher, who lives in our neighborhood and is a friend, starts tomorrow.) Not the perfect start to the week, but the sub is a retired veteran K teacher, and by the second day, she had that ship righted and set on a course.

Rollie has a male homeroom teacher for the first time. I am interested to see how his mostly-male class responds to having a man teaching them. Already, he seems like he is very active in his teaching, which i think these wild boys need. They had math class outside the first day!

Another change this year? The kids are in aftercare. I decided that i was ready to go back to work full-time, or at least take on more hours contracting. (Wink wink, nudge nudge – shoot me an email if you have the hookup on a dream job you think might be a good fit for me. You know – flexible, interesting, challenging, and financially rewarding! Is that so much to ask?)

So, starting next week, I am going to be looking for more work in earnest. I have been spoiled and lucky to have great, near-constant teleworking experiences for the last eight years, but i am ready to add more work to my plate. I feel like this is a brand new chapter in my life. My babies are not babies anymore. I am not a “new mom.” Wrapping my head around this has been pretty wild. I didn’t realize how much of my life revolved around keeping two kids alive for six and eight years! But they don’t need me quite as much as they did even two years ago, and I know it. I need to find other things to put my energies into. I have taken the PTA newsletter off my plate this year.

I am still putting together the quarterly Evansdale Education Foundation newsletter, though, and serving on the organizing board. That has been a very rewarding experience. Have a bunch of money bags lying around? Please donate to the foundation here! (Or just look at the newsletter to see some of the awesome stuff we funded this year – a new EIP teacher for the school, and gifted certification and guided math training for teachers. We raised about $50,000 in our first year. Amazing, since it started out as about 15 people sitting around every Sunday night at someone’s house, trying to figure out how to sustain and improve quality of education at the elementary school.) Whoa. Digression.

So, I was worried that the day, with aftercare, would just be too much for my five-year-old girl. But Tiller LOVED her first day of school. I thought she would be happy to see me when I picked them up that first day, and she was. She came walking out of the cafeteria and saw me, cracked a big smile, exclaimed, “mama!” and ran full speed into my arms! And then I said for her to get her bag and she burst into tears and said she didn’t want to go yet. I am glad that she is going to like it there and that I won’t feel bad about them being there all day, but I would be lying if I said there wasn’t a little tiny piece of me that wishes that she was going to miss our lunches and errands as much as I will.

And of course, Rollie was all, “Mom! Why did you pick us up so early?!” (It was after five.) “I was playing dodgeball!”

I missed you, too, Buddy.

So, i think this is a big year for us, and will be a big adjustment. But I’m starting to see that most change is good, and even if it isn’t, I might as well embrace it, because it is really the only thing you can count on in this life.

Still, how can this:
rollieflam.jpg

And this:
Bathing Beauty

Become this?

We will make you love us and then leave you, Mama.

We are going to make you love us and then leave you, Mama.

What it feels like to fall off the face of the earth

June 25th, 2011

I know there are people who read my blog who wonder why I fell off the face of the earth.

I haven’t been able to write.

I know that sounds stupid, and in other times, times where I was blue, or down, or angry, i figured out something to write anyway, even if I wrote something meaningless, or if I just posted a picture with a caption.

All of my pictures right now have very dark captions.

I pride myself on honesty and truthfulness, and right now? My truth is dark, and undecided.

My dog died. He was, honest-to-God, the best friend I ever had. He wanted nothing and gave me everything. And somehow, i haven’t been able to write about him, because to put it down in writing makes it real and final, and I am not quite ready for that.

My cousin was murdered. I thought avoiding writing about the dog was painful. How do you write about a wonderful woman, who made you laugh, and shared your love for gardening and trivia, and who had a wicked sense of humor, and for many years grossed you out with her vodka and milk, who had her life taken from her by some piece of crap human for $600 dollars? And how do you write about her family who will never know the truth about what happened to her and yet have to live with the knowledge that no matter what exactly happened, it was awful and violent and that she must have died in fear?

And how do you write about all of this without finally coming to a damn decision about whether or not you believe in God? How do you write about losing loved ones if you don’t even know in your heart what became of them? How do you admit to those that love them, admit to yourself, that you don’t know if there is a heaven or a hell, or if we simply become the earth and food for worms?

I wish that i could be one or the other: An atheist firm in her belief that this is all there is; Or a woman with faith – faith that there is meaning in the midst of senseless pain and suffering. I wish that I could be ignorant and firm in the belief that there are things that exist that cannot be explained. Or intelligent and arrogant enough to believe that science is tantamount, and that nothing exists than cannot be explained.

I am just a girl caught in the middle, that wants so badly to believe, but can’t quite convince herself that there is anything there to believe in.

I think they missed us.

May 18th, 2011

Uncle Mark took some shots of the kids while we were in Mexico. I love this one:

Matilda Chasing Rollie

But then, I also like this one:

This one:

And this one:

Nice to see they missed us while we were gone.

Northwestern Elementary

May 17th, 2011



Northwestern Elementary

Originally uploaded by Dogwood Girl

Via Flickr:
Northwestern Elementary, Crabapple, GA. Late 70s/early 80s. No longer extant.

We only had one first grade, if I remember correctly. I had Mrs. Hamilton. I think there may have been no AC, and they left the doors open in warm weather. Sometimes a dog would wander in and traipse the halls. Mr. Martin taught music. They had field days there with big wheel races. We also one time had a family bring an elephant. I think the family owned a circus? And we had, kid you not, Turkey Shoots. At the school. Awesome place.

The Power of the Dog

May 15th, 2011

The Power of the Dog

There is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie–
Perfect passsion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart to a dog to tear.

When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet’s unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
Then you will find–it’s your own affair–
But … you’ve given your heart to a dog to tear.

When the body that lived at your single will,
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!)
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone–wherever it goes–for good,
You will discover how much you care,
And will give your heart to a dog to tear.

We’ve sorrow enough in the natural way,
When it comes to burying Christian clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent.
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we’ve kept ’em, the more do we grieve:
For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short-term loan is as bad as a long–
So why in–Heaven (before we are there)
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?

Rudyard Kipling

(Thanks, Toni, for your thoughtfulness in sending this to me.)

The View from the Golf Cart

May 11th, 2011

Or: Of Friends, Sunset, Stars, Beach, Deer, Beer & Gator

I went to Fripp Island this past weekend with a bunch of girls from my Bunco group. (I wrote about them a couple of other times, like here and here.) They go to a beach house on Fripp for Mother’s Day every year. Can you think of a better Mother’s Day gift? Neither can I.

This was the first year I went, and while i did not feel 100%, and I didn’t get to go the whole four nights, and I did get my first speeding ticket since 1988 (I know the year, because I told the cop i hadn’t gotten a speeding ticket since i was sixteen, and he said, YOU WERE SIXTEEN IN 1988?! and I wasn’t sure whether he thought i was lying or he thought I was hot. I also know because I remember that Pierce, Mark, and Lisa were all with me at the time, and we were at the lake house. Side note: Mom and dad, what were you thinking sending the four of us off in a car together? Are you nuts?)

What was I talking about?

Oh, yeah. Bunco Mom’s trip. It was a blast. Megan hosted and the house is awesome and didn’t feel crowded at all, even with over ten people there.

When we got there, I needed a drink. (see aforementioned ticket.) So, i put my stuff down, poured a margarita and the rest is history!

It rained all day Friday, so it was really chilly on the beach, even before sunset. We took our drinks hopped in the golf cart (do you know how much i love golf carts?) and headed to the beach. Where we proceeded to drink and talk and be chilly. Then we headed back to the house and peed, before heading out to see the sunset, which is kinda their tradition, as I understand it. (You know me, pour me a drink and put me on a golf cart and say you’re taking me to the end of the island to watch the sunset, and I am in, even if you are a serial killer.)

Here’s some of us with the golf cart waiting on the sunset.

Emily, Jenn, Robin, Megan, and Moi

Emily, Jenn, Robin, Megan, and Moi

Here’s Megan, the hostess with the mostess.

Megan

Megan

And me being a little goofy. (Margaritas, duh.)

I can't tell you what Megan said that made my face do that.

I can't tell you what Megan said that made my face do that.

And then finally the sunset.

One of two amazing sunsets I saw while on Fripp.

One of two amazing sunsets I saw while on Fripp.

And another

So, after the sunset, we went back to the house to have dinner. Dinners with friends are so much more enjoyable than dinners with my kids. And then, it also always tastes better when someone else cooks it. (Learned that from my wise Mama.)

After that, i think we headed back out in the golf carts to see the stars on the dark end of the island (amazing) and more importantly, to play Deer Beer. It goes like this: See a deer, sip your beer. See a male deer, take two drinks. See a gator, finish your beer and run like hell! I totally enjoyed the golf cart tour and the company, and the stars and was not even disappointed at a dearth of deer and gator. There is no feeling like looking up at the stars from an unlit spot. I love it. Even if you can’t see the gators lurking.

After that, it was back to the porch for some late night Apples to Apples action. Evidently, Lucy feels I am “too literal” in my apples to apples interpretations. This is funny, because before we quit due to drunkenness and exhaustion, one of us had more green cards, and it wasn’t Lucy.

LateNight

In the mornings, coffee on the porch. (Perhaps my single most favoritest activity in the world.)

Morning

Then, off to the beach! I had only one day there and it is very important to maximize beach time. Sunscreen at the beach is tres importante, aussi. So is champagne.
champagne
That’s Megan applying sunscreen to her champagne-drinking sister, Kristen. Kristen, the only non-mom in attendance, is moving to Bahrain and plans to marry a Bahraini Sheik, and we are all invited to the wedding.

Lucy might have been a little overzealous with the sunscreen, but it was cute.
Sunscreen Lucy

So, after a whole day on the beach, wherein we drank and ate our weight in alcohol and Spicy Thai Kettle Chips, all the while solving all the problems of the world, and looking at every People Magazine written since February, we headed in for showers and the sunset viewing.

Here is Lucy driving the limo cart with Stacey, Monica and . . Ashley. Hard to see. All you need to know is that it was the slowest golf cart in all of God’s Creation (God loves golf!) and it had nothing to do with being weighted down by a full cooler.
Lucy, Stacy, and Monica (and who)

On the way, we ran across this big guy. Picture doesn’t do it justice, but if I were to have lain down next to him, he would still have a good foot on me. I thought the picture was funny, because I was still in the golf cart and when he came across the pond at these girls, it would be all “objects in viewfinder are closer than they appear” and i would have the gator dinner on camera, and then I would floor it, because I am a coward. Also, out of view are the family of three deer about 20 feet away from him.
Gator

The sunset thing is not a bad idea: Spending every night taking a moment to note the passing of day into night, the sun disappearing behind the horizon so quickly, just a symbol of our fleeting time on this earth. . . What? No, i don’t do that anymore.

Mostly, I stand around and take pictures of people at sunset because it makes me look like a better photographer than i am. Like Stacey. Windblown Stacey.
Windblown Stacey

Or Megan and Monica. Aren’t they just glowing?
More pretty girls

Lucy, Jenn, and Ashley. . .
Pretty Girls

Or the boardwalk from which we watched the sun set.
The boardwalk

And a final sunset, because that is my current happy place.
Sunset over the marsh

Oh, and right before we left, we heard a Whippoorwill. I never hear those at home.

I had a great time and can’t wait to go again. (Assuming i am invited, as I didn’t break anything.) It was so awesome to get away for a while, and actually be able to relax. Also, Beer. And Beach. And wonderful conversation.

Oh, and I had a great drive back, too, with Lucy. We ate oysters on the way out of town, because that’s what you do. Good times!

Life really is just better at the beach, especially if you’re with friends, sipping a cold one, having someone drive your lazy ass around seeing the view from the golf cart.

Akumal & Tulum

May 10th, 2011

Todd took me to Akumal for our tenth anniversary. It was great, except that I got really sick (sinus infection) and had to go to the doctor. So, i spent more time dealing with Doctor crap than enjoying myself (all of my first day, then almost two hours the second day, and a quick visit on our last day there), but it was still great. Beautiful place. We had never done an all-inclusive before, but i have to say that it was pretty awesome. It is nice to not have to deal with the money stuff (except for the doctor, which is NOT included, unfortunately).

View from the plane over Cancun. The reason i am able to take photos like this from the plane window is that i pop Xanax like candy before and during the flight so as not to give in to my fear and run up and down the aisles screaming, "We're going down! We're all gonna die!"

View from the plane over Cancun. The reason i am able to take photos like this from the plane window is that i pop Xanax like candy before and during the flight so as not to give in to my fear and run up and down the aisles screaming, We're going down! We're all gonna die!


This is where we stayed. Love that towel duck we got every day. Except one day, it was a bunny instead. Talk about messing with my head people!

This is where we stayed. Love that towel duck we got every day. Except one day, it was a bunny instead. Talk about messing with my head people!


Little Coati dude. These are all over the resort and, of course, I got total Coati Tourette's whenever I saw one.

Little Coati dude. These are all over the resort and, of course, I got total Coati Tourette's whenever I saw one.


Lobby at the resort. Or one of the lobbies. There are three.

Lobby at the resort. Or one of the lobbies. There are three.


My feet. At the Pool. Good stuff.

My feet. At the Pool. Good stuff.


Todd was enamored of the many different types of Tequila offered at the hotel bar. I think he tried them all. I abstained. Because Tequila in large amounts makes me howl at the moon.

Todd was enamored of the many different types of Tequila offered at the hotel bar. I think he tried them all. I abstained. Because Tequila in large amounts makes me howl at the moon.


Waiting to eat some cheesy Japanese Steakhouse dinner, but dang, it was really good.

Waiting to eat some cheesy Japanese Steakhouse dinner, but dang, it was really good.

Honestly, the food, other than the steakhouse, was not stellar, but it was not bad either.

Sadly, this marketplace at our resort is the place at which I spent more time than any other location at the resort, because it is also where my good friends the Doctor and Doctora are located.

Sadly, this marketplace at our resort is the place at which I spent more time than any other location at the resort, because it is also where my good friends the Doctor and Doctora are located.

After trying the doctor that second morning (I needed another antibiotic shot), we took off for Tulum. We decided to drive (we rented a car) because those tour bus deals are just not our scene. I was glad. It is fun to explore and be on your own time. It also allowed us to check out Tulum proper (there is a town there, in addition to the ruins) and to grab ourselves some stuff at a local grocery store. Highly recommend the rental option if you like to explore. The roads were good and the driving was pretty easy there.

These guys crack me up. They are EVERYWHERE at Tulum, just hanging out. Very funny.

These guys crack me up. They are EVERYWHERE at Tulum, just hanging out. Very funny.


This building was one of my faves of the smaller ones. You could still see the paint from these really old murals - so cool!

This building was one of my faves of the smaller ones. You could still see the paint from these really old murals - so cool!


Hard to imagine what this must have looked like 200 years ago, or a 1000 years ago. Amazingly beautiful place. Also made me feel like I was either in the game Myst, or at Tikal with Indiana Jones and Sophia. ("Sophia, Let's Talk." "This is Crab Central.")

Hard to imagine what this must have looked like 200 years ago, or a 1000 years ago. Amazingly beautiful place. Also made me feel like I was either in the game Myst, or at Tikal with Indiana Jones and Sophia. (Sophia, Let's Talk. This is Crab Central.)


Me and Todd at Tulum. We swam below this later, in that very blue water.

Me and Todd at Tulum. We swam below this later, in that very blue water.


Todd at Tulum

Todd at Tulum


Here is me traipsing over rocks at Tulum. Seconds later a lady busted ass on the same rocks. I did not laugh.

Here is me traipsing over rocks at Tulum. Seconds later a lady busted ass on the same rocks. I did not laugh.


After the ruins, we had lunch at this little place. Simple tacos. And beer. Good stuff.
These pigs made us laugh. Kind of reminded us of BBQ signs with happy pigs on them that you find throughout the South. You know, the ones with a pig on them, wearing a chef hat or a halo and wings, holding a spatula and smiling real big? As if to say, Come on, Yall! Come eat me!

These pigs made us laugh. Kind of reminded us of BBQ signs with happy pigs on them that you find throughout the South. You know, the ones with a pig on them, wearing a chef's hat or a halo and wings, holding a spatula and smiling real big? As if to say, Come on, Y'all! Come eat me!


This little old-school Coca Cola awning at a restaurant at Tulum made me a little tiny bit homesick. And then I remembered i had no kids with me and i was in Mexico, and I got over it.

This little old-school Coca Cola awning at a restaurant at Tulum made me a little tiny bit homesick. And then I remembered i had no kids with me and i was in Mexico, and I got over it.

After lunch, we headed to the cenotes. I admit that i felt so under the weather that I almost begged Todd to skip it, but I’m glad I didn’t, because it was my favorite part of the trip. We failed to bring an underwater camera with us, so there are no pics of the Cenotes. We went to this place called Hidden Worlds. You can take a gander here. They take you out in the jungle on a truck that can only be explained as looking like something out of Mad Max. You stand up in it (if you want to ride comfortably) and then bump over miles of hard, rocky, rough roads in this truck with an exposed engine. Complete deathtrap. I loved it. Then we put on snorkel gear and went down this very steep ladder and we were in a cave (cenote) and off into the water.

It was amazing. At points, the stalagmites (tites?) came down all the way to the water and you had to weave your way through to get to the other side. Definitely not for the claustrophobic. There were fish and we had these high power flashlights and we used them to see when we were deep in the caves. Lucky for us, it was just me and T and the guide. He took us into some parts that they don’t take large groups into, and we did fun stuff like sit in the dark caves and turn out all the lights. It is so dark you literally cannot see your hand in front of your face. Bats swoop when you light them up. And then we came out on the other side and saw these amazing birds! Again, i didn’t get a really good look at them, or a photo (disappointing) but it was amazing to see them.

We spent our last day at the beach.

Yes, I finally got to spend one wonderful day on this beautiful beach. Fish swam all around us and it was absolutely crystal clear.

Yes, I finally got to spend one wonderful day on this beautiful beach. Fish swam all around us and it was absolutely crystal clear.

That night we had dinner, then wandered, people watching and then checked out a free show. It was a Michael Jackson impersonator. It was awful. And funny.

Michael Jackson show at our resort. OMG. It was so funny that I could only take two songs and then we had to leave.

Michael Jackson show at our resort. OMG. It was so funny that I could only take two songs and then we had to leave.


. . . So that we could do our best MJ impersonations on the sidewalk outside. I am doing the moonwalk. Yep.

. . . So that we could do our best MJ impersonations on the sidewalk outside. I am doing the moonwalk. Yep.


Todd is doing that other MJ move. Awesome.

Todd is doing that other MJ move. Awesome.

The next day, we got up and packed and went into Akumal proper for lunch on the way to the airport. It is REALLY nice, with some beautiful homes all around the bay and great snorkeling. I could handle a rental there on the beach in Akumal.

Our last meal, in Akumal

Our last meal, in Akumal

And then we came back to the Real World. The End.

p.s. Huge shout out to my parents, The Big C and Virginia, and my Sis, who took care of the kiddos (and The Precious, Q) while we were gone. Round of applause also goes out to awesome neighbor, Lauren, who helped them out. Y’all are the best!

More Lake Pictures

April 27th, 2011