Any DIYers install their own laminate flooring before?
Archive for the ‘Musings’ Category
Any DIYers install their own l…
Tuesday, August 4th, 2009@jeherv It’s a tie for me. Bot…
Tuesday, August 4th, 2009@jeherv It’s a tie for me. Both are annoying.
One Week Left of Summer
Monday, August 3rd, 2009I cannot believe how fast this summer has gone. It has been a rough one, with Daddy having surgery, and Pop passing away, and Todd working a ton (a good thing) and me worrying about all my family.
And now it is almost over. I feel like I got nothing accomplished. I vacillated between worry, and exhaustion from travel, and insomnia and occasional moments of fun with friends and family, trying to blow off a little steam. I took great comfort in watching my garden grow, feeling the passing of time, and knowing that it was natural to watch things get bigger and ripen, knowing some would be lost to disease or bugs.
I didn’t write, blog, or work on house renovations as much as I would have liked. (Okay, didn’t work on renovations at all.)
I am looking forward to fall, though. Moving on, getting some distance from the events of the summer, the kids on a regularish schedule. This is my life, and I need to get back to living it, and feeling less like a passenger on an out-of-control roller coaster.
And football. Time and tide and football wait for no woman.
@driveafastercar awesome, than…
Friday, July 31st, 2009@driveafastercar awesome, thanks!
Roiling the Waters
Friday, July 31st, 2009I find it scary, the way that my brain works. I woke up this morning, after having some really wild dreams. Dreams with people I haven’t seen in years, mixed in with my friends and family of today. How can my subconscious dig up things that I had dealt with and forgotten years ago, and switch them all around into some crazy movie slash horror film in my head? Brain, you don’t even get all of the details right. And yet, here I sit today, feeling a little shell-shocked, and a lot sad, and really melancholy. It rains outside, and thunders, and I listen to music that wasn’t even part of the soundtrack of that past landscape. I try to figure out why I am feeling down, and I realize it is because I made myself feel this way, by dreaming things that never happened.
What is it that I am trying to work out? Because I wasn’t even aware there was anything to work out.
Dream Annie, go to hell for roiling the waters and making me sad. I am fine. Why can’t you leave it be?
A Place To Call One’s Own
Wednesday, July 29th, 2009I love, love, love this website. What a cool idea! It also makes me jealous of all of these folks with designated work spaces.
I want the coffee table book. Fascinating.
I need me a Lady’s sitting room. A parlour. A library. An office. Whatever you call it. A place of my own, to shut the door and lock out the world.
Want.
Going Gray
Tuesday, July 21st, 2009So, in the course of any given day, I have about five to ten main things I want to get done. I am terrible at completing tasks. TERRIBLE. I get very overwhelmed by a pile of tasks at hand, and if I don’t just concentrate on only my top priority, I will make myself crazy. Things that I stress about include:
Making doctor’s appointments for me, the kids.
I need to start taking a multivitamin.
I did not write a word today.
I have not been keeping up with my blog.
I feel like posting about anything on my blog other than the things I am REALLY preoccupied with is “false.”
I have not worked out today.
I have not called the doctor about my ankle, and if my ankle is going to get better, I need to do that.
If my ankle isn’t better, how will I run?
I am fat.
I need to eat better.
I need a new composting solution.
I need to check work email.
I need to do work.
Facebook is the devil.
I need to stop drinking so much during the week.
I need to clean litter box.
I need to trim shrubbery.
I need to work more in yard.
We never finished renovations on house.
There is cat puke on the bedspread and i haven’t cleaned it up yet.
I need to help my mom and dad.
I need to help my sister.
I haven’t worked on my family history files in ages. What if I die? They will never get done.
What if I die?
Do i have anxiety?
I have anxiety.
I have never had anxiety before.
I need to get the oil changed.
I wish I was more like Todd when it comes to laundry.
I hate laundry.
I hate putting away laundry.
I hate feeling guilty about doing laundry.
Do you think today is the day todd will divorce me over the laundry?
I need more large pots for my patio.
I should go to yard sales to find them for cheap.
Don’t forget to pick up a cushion for the lounge chair at the lake.
On clearance.
The kids need to turn off the tv and get more exercise.
I haven’t finished the dates for the damn school newsletter schedule yet, or i’d take them to the pool. No, I wouldn’t because I need to start dinner.
I am going to let down 500 elementary school kids who won’t have a newsletter.
I am going to let down my family
I am going to let down myself.
You get the idea. So, any time that I can take one thing off my plate, i am for it.
Which is why I have decided that I am going to stop dyeing my hair.
I have been going gray since college. I guess it is God’s way of punishing me for all the dyeing and crazy hair colors of my youth that now i am doomed to the albatross of dyeing my hair twice a month. As it is, I dye it at home. When I say, “I,” I mean Todd. Yes, Todd dons the plastic gloves, which are way too small for his manly hands, and he dyes my hair like a pro. Sort of. Having the salon dye my hair is not an option: It is too expensive and time-consuming to have it done, and at the rate that my hair grows out, and with the amount of gray that I have, it needs to be done about every two weeks.
Whatever. I am over it. I am chucking the outdated, Loving Care Loreal ideal of beauty in a box. I am embracing my gray. Now, you probably have some questions about this process. Hopefully, the following will help answer those:
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Yes, Todd has been notified. And by “notified,” I mean that I stared at him without a trace of a smile, and told him what I was going to do and he was too scared to laugh, show disbelief, or protest in any manner.
Yes, when it all grows out, my head will probably look like I am wearing a hat made solely of gray pubic hair.
Yes, I will probably be wearing a lot of hats and scarves this fall.
Yes, I will probably break down and dye it again by this time next year. It’s nice to keep options open.
Yes, I’m going to document this in photos and post them on my blog; Just think of the self-embarrassment potential! It’s, like, photojournalism. I’m pretty sure that Oprah will pick it up, or I will get book offers in the coming months.
Okay! Who’s with me? Hello? Hellooo! Whatever. Screw you fancy dye-job, black-rooted, broke-ass, slave-to-fashion bitches!
I already feel better about having one less damn thing to worry about. FTW!
Avoidance
Monday, July 20th, 2009I am avoiding Dogwood Girl. I have lots of little things that i could write about: Things the kids are doing, my weight, workouts, the garden. But I need to write about Pop, and I’ve been putting it off. I know that the reason I am not sleeping at night is that I need to get it out of my head and onto paper (screen).
But it won’t be this morning. Too many things will get in the way, draw me away, and I will let them.
A Tale of Two Sweets
Sunday, July 12th, 2009We took the kids for ice cream this afternoon. Oddly, Rollie wanted a Sprite instead. Todd and I decided we’d all share a bigass rice krispie treat, too.
Tiller went for the ice cream (birthday cake) and a handful of rice krispie treat, too. Sometimes it was hard for her to decide which to bite from. . . .
I am feeling ungrateful and babyish today. I love my kids. They are fun. But I miss the trips with leisurely walks, and less argument, less potty emergencies. I miss strolling around, stopping for a coffee or a beer. I miss perusing bookstores for an hour at a time, and window shopping, and not having to have a destination or a time schedule.
I know I will have it again someday. I just mourn it sometimes. And it is hard to stay dissatisfied when they look this happy.
Closer
Sunday, July 5th, 2009Pop’s not doing so well. Got the call that his vitals were all going downhill pretty quickly. Lisa and I both felt like we wanted to be here for mom and Dad, and for Pop. We took separate cars, to accommodate our adult schedules.
Driving down this afternoon was strange. I cried in my car on the highway, driving 80 mph listening to Guns N’ Roses version of “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door,” and coming up on a wall of thunderstorm seen from a distance. I could see curtains of rain coming down from the sky, with light shining through too, in that weird way that happens with storms, all green and grey and silver and purple. Some moments the heavens just seem closer.