Life is funny. Never thought i’d be going to auburn high school twentieth high school reunion!
Archive for the ‘Musings’ Category
Life is funny. Never thought i…
Friday, June 26th, 2009Melancholy, Twisted, Beautiful
Friday, June 19th, 2009Just finished writing an obituary for my dying grandfather. It made me feel weepy and it made it seem real that he won’t be with us much longer. Felt the same heaviness when i dropped off a porch swing that he made with his own two hands at a friend’s house last night. It did make me laugh in a bittersweet way that she will be painting it bright pink. Listening to Frightened Rabbit’s “Old Old Fashioned” and reading a story about kids during WWII driving out to a new bridge in Alabama, parking on it, and pulling out an old crank record player and dancing in the moonlight.
Feeling melancholy and weepy, in a life is twisted and beautiful kind of way.
Visiting Pop in hospice today;…
Thursday, June 11th, 2009Visiting Pop in hospice today; Seems like it should feel more momentous to visit a loved one for probably the last time. Just feels sad.
Possibly Not the Domestic Goddess
Friday, June 5th, 2009. . . that I think I am.
I was cooking dinner last night (ahem, mac and cheese) and was boiling the macaroni, when the pot boiled over. (Or, “balled” over, as my Daddy with his Savannah accent would say. He also says “aygs” for eggs, “all” for oil, and “tin fall” for tin foil.) Tiller was in the kitchen with me and as the pot boiled over, she looked at me, shaking her head as if in disgust, and said, “That always happens.”
Night before last, our babysitter Rebecca got to the house, and I was dressed and saying good night to Tiller. She hugged me then pulled back to study my face, as if seeing me for the first time.
“Mama, what’s wrong with your eyes?”
“Um, that’s makeup baby.”
She keeps me honest, that one. No thinking i am a beautiful domestic Goddess with her around.
I can do this.
Monday, June 1st, 2009I can do this.
@brackley Yep, bummer. New stu…
Monday, June 1st, 2009@brackley Yep, bummer. New studio? Need pics and details.
Rolling With the Punches
Friday, May 29th, 2009So, i am doing a triathlon a week from tomorrow. I am trying not to panic or get wigged out by the fact that my family obligations have shot my training all to hell. I have gotten in two workouts this week. I know that nothing i do now is even going to have an impact on my performance. So frustrating that I’ve worked out and prepared for this and then everything went to hell in a hand basket in the last few weeks of my training. I guess that is just life.
So, i am going to go ahead and do the damn thing. I know I can finish the distance. I just think it is going to be a lot more painful than I planned on it being. I know I will probably have to walk parts of the run, which sucks; My main goal is simply to finish; my in-the-back-of-my-head goal was to finish the run having not walked a bit of it.
I guess sometimes success is not about preparation, but more about having the stones to do something that intimidates you and for which you are unprepared.
Torn and Shattered
Thursday, May 28th, 2009So, this is going to be a big ole diarrhea of the mouth, pity party of a post.
Our world is fucked. The automobile and the plane have made it possible to stray so far from home that we never go back. Modern medicine has made it so that we live forever, eternally burdening our families with caring for us, when by all laws of nature, we should have been dead years ago, and not in a long-drawn-out manner. Maybe we were meant to keel over with heart attacks in the front yard, or die a sleepy diabetic coma death. Our families suffer for the way that our modern world has attempted to fix things.
Families are not meant to live in different cities, where they cannot take care of one another and shoulder burdens for one another and carry the loads together. I should be able to take the four hours my husband will be home today and use that time to dump the kids on him and go check on my Daddy, and my Mama, and my Pop. It is not natural to have to drive an hour and a half just to get there. My sick mother should have me and my sister helping take shifts to watch Daddy. When the doctor yesterday told her she should go straight to the ER for the infection, she should have gone, knowing that we would be around to watch Daddy. If i lived in a town with her (God, no. Not Warner Robins. That is not what I am saying!), she would have had the peace of mind to know that we would be able to cover for her. There would always be someone to spend a night with the kids, or take my Pop to the ER, which is what my mom is doing this morning, even though last night, the doctors wanted her to go herself. There would always be someone to let the Goddamn dogs out. Woof Woof Woof.
What is wrong with us? This is so wrong, so unnatural. How do other people do this? Do they just not care that their relatives are suffering? Do they suffer themselves, in silence, pushing down the fact that they can’t be in two places at once? Is that healthy? Is my family really that freakishly close, some anomaly, just because I want to be there and care for them when they are sick? Do other people feel this torn and shattered all the time?
What the fuck is wrong with us?
Going to Macon
Tuesday, May 19th, 2009Dad’s having a routine outpatient surgery thing this morning in Macon. It is routine. I still worry, though. I hear too many horror stories from my sister, The Nurse. I will be glad when we are all at the lake this weekend, fishing and painting together. As much as my Dad and I disagree, and get on each others nerves (and those of everyone around us), he is still my favorite fishing buddy, and I can’t imagine my life without him.
Chicago
Saturday, May 2nd, 2009So lame with the blog updates. . . just now updating on Chicago anniversary trip.
First of all, I hate flying.
We had a hard time ever leaving. Our first plane had mechanical difficulties, so they gave us another one, but we had to have our seats reassigned. Then we got on and sat at the gate for 25 minutes while they took care of a maintenance issue. Then we taxied out on the runway. Then we turned around and went back to the gate because the pilot “didn’t feel comfortable with the mechanical problems we were having.” Very reassuring. By this time, we were already an hour behind, and I was starting to worry about my Xanax lasting through takeoff, much less the landing at Midway. We got off the plane and went to different gate to reboard our third plane. Of course, we had to go through the whole boarding thing again. I popped another Xanax for good measure.
Takeoff and flight were uneventful, but when we got to Midway, we came in for landing, then before we touched down, the pilot pulled back up and said that he apologized, but he “wasn’t comfortable with conditions on the ground.” Awesome. Just let me clean up this puke on the head of the lady in front of me, and then perform surgery on the broken bones in Todd’s hand, and I’ll be ready to go again.
Second landing attempt was fine, but at that point, i was pretty exhausted from all that concentrating that I did to hold the plane up in the air.
At Midway, we got on the train to head out to Tom’s neighborhood. Tom is Todd’s friend from Auburn. I only get to hang out for snippets with Tom, but I love him. He is funny and a little strange. The first time I met him was around the time Todd and I got married, and then he has visited a few times since. We also stayed with him when he lived in San Francisco. So, Tom met us at the station and then we walked back to the apartment
(I love visiting a great walking city and Chicago fits the bill), stopping on the way to grab beer at the liquor store. That was where I first ran into my new favorite beer:
When I saw it, i got all excited, then looked at the price and said, um, no. So, i took a picture of it. But then I ended up having one later. It was great. More on that later.
It was raining that day, and so we decided to drink and grill out, so we wouldn’t have to walk in the rain. Tom lives with his girlfriend Tara, and their apartment is awesome. Kind of a 20s/30s feel, with tons of space, a porch, sunroom, living room with fireplace, bedroom, dining/sitting area, office/closet and a big kitchen and pantry. For some reason it made me yearn for city apartment living. I conveniently blocked out the fact that I have children and it would be a horrible place to live with them. In my daydream, I guess I was 25 and had a fabulous, exciting high-paying job.
We ended up running out of beer (how did that happen?) and so Todd and i offered to go back out to the liquor store. We borrowed raincoats and umbrellas and headed back to the liquor store. Did I mention that the liquor store had a dog? His name is Cosmo.
I know. Sometimes my travel posts are just about my Pet Tourette’s in a different city. . . .
We walked back in the rain. Vacation is great; even the walking in the rain toting wet bags of beer is fun. Here is Todd hiding out under the shelter of an old fire station.
So, Tom and Tara’s friends came over to meet us and grill out. We had yummy grilled meats and homemade salsas and guacamole – Tom is quite a good cook. By the time the friends all got there I was pretty toasty, but these folks, Lucas and Lizzie, still let me hold their baby, Liam.
I talked to them for a long time and really enjoyed it. One of my favorite things about travel is meeting new people. I know a lot of folks who say that their lives are too busy for keeping up with old friends, much less meeting new people, but I guess I kind of crave meeting new people. It always feels like I have been recharged the day after experiencing new people. It just feels healthy to me. I liken it to when the kids have new experiences and it’s like they are sponges that just soak them up. It is like you can see their little synapses firing after a new experience.
The boys did the grilling. I think Todd is cute when he is happy and hanging out with his Auburn boys:
Here are our wonderful hosts, at the dinner table:
Please note pots on shelf in background. Tom has done all this really great pottery, and I forgot to take pictures of it, which is a bummer. I believe he said something about trying to throw 500 pots? I don’t remember exactly, because I was drinking, but there were tons of them. Attempts to sneak one into my luggage failed
Here are Todd and Tom with some more of the guests, nice guys all:
And one more:
Hmm. Perhaps the reason i felt so “recharged” was all the men hanging around! It was definitely not the uncooperative cold and rainy weather.
There was more rain the next morning when we got up. Even though the weather channel was telling us there was not more rain. We had no idea how to dress, so, we ended up with umbrellas and rainjackets and hats and short sleeves underneath. Layers turned out to be the way to go, as it rained off and on all day.
Tom and Tara had other plans that morning, so Todd and I walked around the corner and a few blocks to Big Jones. Tom had told us that they had “good” grits and fried green tomatoes, but Tom is from Chicago, so i was doubtful. But he said fried green tomatoes and then I had to have them, even if they sucked. They didn’t! Totally the right consistency and batter. Just needed a little salt. Todd’s shrimp and grits were pretty good, too. It felt weird to eat “Southen Coastal Cuisine” in Chicago.
We walked back out into the weather to take the train to the Art Institute. I took pictures of cool signs (one of my favorite things to do, especially vintage ones. Chicago had some great ones.) I loved the wedding cake sign on this bakery:
And the handbells on these imprints in the pavement. Why handbells?
And you can never have too many shots of church signs:
The Art Institute of Chicago was by far my favorite part of the trip. I could go back and spend a week there. I will, too, because the Modern stuff was mostly off exhibit due to the new wing construction they are doing. And the Cubs weren’t in town, so i have to go back for a game.
We saw so much amazing stuff that I couldn’t even begin to name them all. It is truly a museum where you turn every corner and find another masterpiece that you doubted that you would ever see in person. One of my highlights was seeing the three Ivan Albrights on display. I could have looked at them all day. (My photos don’t do them justice.)
We saw this:
And this:
And this:
And then Todd and I split up; I wanted to see the Impressionism and Post-Impressionism. He wanted to see Renaissance stuff. Mine was way better.
I saw this:
And this:
And this:
See that lady with the umbrella? She is a couple feet taller than Todd. This thing is huge in person. You could spend an hour looking at it from afar and another hour staring at each little detail up close. See? Here is the monkey:
Check this out:
And this!
Oooh!
Ah!
I really was pretty blown away. My pictures don’t do justice to the individual works, and they certainly don’t reflect the sheer numbers of awesome things we saw. They have whole rooms of Gaugin and Monet. One of the funniest exhibits was a paperweight collection. Who knew paperweights could be so beautiful and varied?
It was just the best way to spend an afternoon. I didn’t want to leave.
Wooh. I think this is going to be a two-parter. . .