My grandfather turns 92 today. That just awes and amazes me. I’ve written about him before, here and here, if you want to read more about him. The picture is him around the time of his graduation from the Martha Berry School, which is now Berry College, in Rome, Georgia. I think that was about 1934.
Happy Birthday, Pop!
January 5th, 2008Turkey Dysfunction
December 30th, 2007You would have to know my Dad to think this is really funny. I have been drinking wine all day without food. Dad has been hitting the Scotch. What’s the logical thing to do? Give me a video camera and him a carving knife.
Note that both mine and Lisa’s husbands are hiding out in another room playing video games with the kids. They are smart.
If anyone knows Jason B., I can pretty much guarantee that he will do “the laugh” over this one.
For my brother-in-law who reads my blog, please note how this holiday experience is so different from the one I married into that I often feel like I am on a different, and much quieter, planet when I visit your parents. (I read his blog when I understand what it is he is talking about, but the Ruby programming language, which he writes whole entire, published and searchable-on-Amazon books on, is a little over my head. You should buy a copy for each of your friends.)
Pooped Out
December 30th, 2007I am so tired. Todd and I went to the EARL last night after his book club at Flatiron. Anna Kramer opened, and I loved her! Got this video of a new Band of Horses song they say they hadn’t played before. Me likey. Their whole show was really great – I was impressed. I think they were much better than I thought they would be.
Must go to bed now – stayed up till 2:30 and woke up with kids at 7:30. I don’t know what their problem is, always wanting me to get up and feed them and stuff like that. They are so needy.
Snow White*
December 28th, 2007This one goes out to our peeps in Huntsvegas!
*Disclaimer: Just because I call the ubiquitous Disney stuff “fucking Disney Princess Shit” doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate the gifts.
Best Christmas Gifts
December 28th, 2007
Tiller’s favorite has been the flashlight I gave her. It came with a backpack, sleeping bag, and squirt bottle, but it was the flashlight she wouldn’t let go of, and even wanted to take to bed with her. My favorite, and least favorite, gift she received from Santa was the Victorian dollhouse. It is pretty and will be years of fun, but it also took years for the elves to put it together. 36 pages of instructions. As much as I despise the Disney Princess crap, it was also pretty enjoyable to see her squeeze her fat rolls into the Snow White outfit. She is adorable with her new Hello Kitty helmet, knee pads and elbow pads – who cares if it is actually nice enough to go outside and get on a trike? Evidently, it is fun just to walk around dressed in them. Finally, she has been pretty happy with the Hello Kitty lip gloss and has been walking around making everyone put some on.
Rollie’s favorite, by far, has been the handheld Vsmile game. I see much gaming in his future; frighteningly, he is already ignoring us and mumbling grunted replies while playing it. He also adored the racetrack my dad gave him. In fact, Todd and Rollie spent a few hours yesterday racing cars in Rollie’s room. I am not sure if Rollie or Todd is the bigger fan of that one. Cousin Graham got pretty excited over it too, and he and i played a few minutes in my son’s room, and Rollie wasn’t even there. It was just like those Christmases 30 years ago in A’retta! Good times. Rollie also got a transformer and a power ranger toy – Neither Todd nor I could really figure either of them out. Other faves included kickin’ it old skool with: Candyland, Dominoes, Etch-a-Sketch, ViewMaster, and a Magic 8-Ball.
Todd’s cool gifts include a new pair of boots, with a little clown surprise – Just ask to see the boots, some cool books, CD, and a great family portrait my friend Jasonaut took of the family, all blown up, framed, and matted.
Me? I love my books (including the annotated Pride and Prejudice! Yay!) and some nifty slippers. My fave, though: The boots I wanted. Todd wasn’t going to get them, because I told him to not get me anything big, since i was going to NYC, but he tricked me and got them anyway. I heart them.
Good stuff. More highlights from our Christmas celebrations . . .
My new niece, Luci, who graced me with a nap on my chest after dinner. I just wish we had gotten a picture of me falling in love with her, drool and all.
Chase’s first Christmas Eve party.
The Christmas Eve crew
Tiller and Papaw opening gifts
The hostess with the mostest (and a bun in the oven):
Who gave Cecil another scotch?
The beginning of the end. . Uncle Mark and Rollie. Yes, their uncle is a fucking Gator fan.
Two sisters and a Tiller
Nephew and Aunt
In case there was ever any doubt.
Merry Christmas
December 25th, 2007Todd took this one last night at Christmas Eve Mayhem, which is what our Christmas Eves have become. We just open the doors and all the orphans come over, and now the orphans have kids, and they all run around and stay up late, and get hopped up on candy and cookies, and it’s crazy! And fun. And tiring.
p.s. Played Santa until 1:30 a.m. Fuck Victorian wooden dollhouses. Fuck Melissa and Doug. Long live plastic that never decomposes and looks terrible and will give the kids three eyes. At least I wouldn’t spend three hours putting the fucker together. Wine helped, though.
Meowing Love
December 24th, 2007Rollie saw the cats meowing Jingle Bells. So, the other night, when Todd went to Trivia, and I was putting the kids down, we did our usual night-nights, which include a range of oddities created over the last four years: Goodnight Moon turned into Goodnight Everyone we know and Every Object we have Ever Touched. Then when Tiller was little, I started singing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star to her, and then she started making requests, so that now she gets three songs every night. Then Rollie realized we were singing with Tiller and he decided he wanted to sing at bedtime, too. The last month or so, it has been Christmas carols at bedtime. Usually Santa Claus Is Coming To Town. But when I lay down in the bed with Rollie on Thursday night, he said, “Let’s do Meow Song,” nodding as he said it.
“Huh?”
“Meow Santa Claus.”
And I thought, “Todd, you fucker. A little warning would be nice when you teach him to meow Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.”
Kids are a great leveller, though, a fantastic humbling experiment. So, I took a deep breath, and began to meow. There are times when you are alone in the dark, meowing with your child, and it feels like perfection, and you know that it will be a moment that will bring tears to your eyes 20 years later. But right then, you just feel really, really silly. And you love him so much you just don’t care.
Are You Smarter Than a Toddler?
December 23rd, 2007In case there is any question about who is smarter, me or Todd. . .
This morning, Todd got up and we dressed the children for church with their grandparents and Todd took one for the team by going with them. (We have decided, after multiple reports from Senor Tattletale about his grandparents not bothering to strap him completely into his carseat, that the grands will no longer be taking the kids in the car without one of us going along.)
I could have been stuck going with them, but I am smart, and I did not put one item of clothing in my suitcase that could possibly be viewed as remotely appropriate for even the most casual Alabama Baptist Church service. Todd? He is a dumbass and he brought khakis. He will fit right in with all the little Auburn Tiger college kids at church, with their flippy hair, and their flippy belts. Me? Hooded sweatshirt. Multiple faded tees. Ratty boots and rattier Chucks. One pair of jeans.
[Evil, evil bwahahahahaha-sounding laugh.]
I’ve spent the morning lingering over coffee, checking email, and listening to KEXP. Then I heated up leftovers (baby quiches! chicken wings! hashbrownmutherfuckincasserole!) and popped open a coke and watched The Big Lebowski. The only thing that would make this Sunday morning better is if my in-laws had a well-stocked liquor cabinet. Okay, I’d settle for a slightly-stocked liquor cabinet.
Todd’s a gamer, though, so I fully expect him to realize he has been outsmarted and come back in here with some kind of “but Baby, I took the kids to church, so when we get home, I’m going to the Flatiron” scam.
Doodlebug ain’t havin’ it.
What Tire Spells
December 22nd, 2007After opening gifts at my in-laws last night, Rollie was sitting around the table with Todd, Todd’s father, and Todd’s brother Lyle and his wife. Rollie was playing with a Cars drawing tablet that included pencils, crayons, paints, and stickers. It also has a workbook section, where he can practice writing and spelling.
Rollie was trying to sound out and write the word “Tire,” with Todd’s help.
“T . . . ,” Rollie said, looking at Todd for help.
“Sound it out,” Todd said. “What sound does T make?”
Rollie: “Tuh.”
Todd: “Okay, ‘tuh.’ Then, ‘I.’ What sound does ‘I’ make?”
Rollie: “Ih.”
Aunt Denise: “Long ‘I’ sound, Rollie.”
Rollie: “I.”
Todd: “Right. Ok, ‘R.’ What sound does ‘r’ make?”
Rollie: “Ruh.”
Todd: “Right. So, put it together.” Rollie looks like his brain is
hurting.
Todd: “Sound it out. Tuh – I- Ruh. Tigh-ruh.
Rollie stares at Todd with a look of concentration on his face, then
realization dawns. “Tigh- roll! Roll Tide, Roll! Right down the toilet
bowl!”
Nobody in my in-laws’ household was about to tell him for a second that he was wrong. We just laughed.
Old Friends
December 21st, 2007
Spent yesterday morning with my old friends Mike and Bryan and their families. Mike is an old high school friend, and Brian I met at Georgia. Mike has been living in the Netherlands for the past . . .four? years or so, but he and wife Kat and two boys are moving back to the states.
We met at Mike’s sister’s house, and another of his sisters (Mary) was there with her son, and it was just so fun to see my old friends and their wonderful wives and families (who read Dogwood Girl and are very accepting of my potty mouth. Thank God Mike’s Mom doesn’t read it, because I think she still hates me for not wearing shoes in her house in high school; DogwoodGirl might put her over the edge.) They even fed us and the kids. It was like a morning on vacation.
It is easy to lose touch with old friends, to never find the time to get together. But when you do get together, you find that many things have changed, and many things have stayed the same, and you are reminded of why you were friends with them in the first place. And you are warmed to know they are still in your life.
And also to find out that they will be living near the beach. The warm, warm beach.
p.s. Mike and Kat’s blog is no longer Hollandsenieuwe; New locale, new name – Resident Aliens. Check’em out as they wade back into life in the states, and Kat searches for a position teaching Environmental Policy at the college level.
p.p.s. None of my pics of Bryan, Genia, and Henry came out well at all. Wah!