Another Cecil Update

This just in from my sister: “Just talked to Cecil on the phone. He said, “My nurse is a Porto Rican” (said just like that). ..in front of the nurse who I heard say “Phillipino” and then Dad says “Oh, he’s a Phillipino MALE nurse”. Because men can’t be nurses. Glad to know Big C […]

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Oh, The Humanity!

Hospital waiting room in Macon is much like Wal-Mart in Milledgeville. The people-watching is stellar. Awesome accents. No yankees. Interesting assortment of rednecks toting massive amounts of Mountain Dew, which is interesting to me since I watched that Diane Sawyer special about Appalachia.

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Tiller’s Too Sexy for Church School

I’m not sure, but i think that a gaunt, horse-faced church lady (using that term loosely) just told me that Tiller’s skirt is too short. “You know, at elementary school, they say the acceptable length is knee-length.” She is wearing a jean skirt. She is three. What the fuck?* Does my daughter look like a […]

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God, I Needed That

Rollie just walked in the house. I was bracing for “I’m hungry,” “Tiller destroyed your flowers!” or something along those lines. I was not prepared for: “Mama, do you want me to show you how to do the Macarena? Gracie knows how to do the Macarena and she taught me.” [Stifling a laugh.] “Uh, Yeah!” […]

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Dogwood Girl and The Black Hearts

Rollie and Tiller were acting up in the bathtub tonight. I got them out immediately (they usually get to play for a while) and Rollie stood shivering in his towel, lower lip quivering, and told me, “You don’t love me at all! You never loved me! You don’t have a red heart, you have a […]

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Well, Duh, Mom.

Me: “Um, Tiller, what happened to the skirt you were wearing?” She was wearing a pair of jeans. Tiller: “I didn’t want to wear it anymore.” Me [wary of possible hazmat incident]: “Why not?” Tiller [matter of factly]: “Because I was going to be a koala bear and my legs would get hurt.” Oh, of […]

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Vampires In School, Part II

Update: The vampire at the school has a name and a girlfriend. His name is Sylar. He lives under the school. Yesterday, at nap time, the vampire was lying next to Rollie and he bit him on the wrist. But Rollie didn’t feel it, because he doesn’t see or feel or hear the vampire; only […]

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Rollie, Vampire Slayer

So, yesterday after school, Rollie told Todd that he wanted him to wake him up at Midnight. Todd asked why. Rollie said that he had plans to meet his friend Tony at the school cafeteria at Midnight. When pressed for an answer as to why, Rollie declined to answer. Last night, after Todd and I […]

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On Mom: By Rollie and Tiller

I think that this was supposed to make my kids look awesomely creative and fun. It made them look boring. Ask your child(ren) these questions and enter their answers…Quite amusing! Tiller (3) 1. What is something Mom always says to you? I don’t know. 2. What makes Mom happy? Being nice. 3. What makes Mom […]

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